The First Moments of the Day

May 30, 2012

Conscious Creation
by Madisyn Taylor

Each morning when we awake, we have an opportunity to create our day with what inspires us the most.

The moment during the day when we very first open our eyes and come into consciousness is a precious opportunity. It sets the tone for all that comes after it, like the opening scene in a film or novel. At this moment, our ability to create the day is at its most powerful, and we can offer ourselves fully to the creative process by filling this moment with whatever inspires us most. It may be that we want to be more generous, or it may be that we want to be more open to beauty in our daily lives. Whatever the case, if we bring this vision into our minds at this very fertile moment, we empower it to be the guiding principle of our day.

Sometimes we wake up with a mood already seemingly in place, and it’s important to give this feeling its due. It can inform us and deepen our awareness to what’s going on inside us, as well as around us. As long as we are conscious, we can honor this feeling and also introduce our new affirmation or vision, our conscious offering to the day. We may want to decide before we go to sleep what we want to bring to the next day of our lives. It could be that we simply want to be more open to whatever comes our way. Or we may want to summon a particular quality such as confidence. Then again, we may simply call up a feeling that perfectly captures the texture we want our day to have.
We can reaffirm our vision or affirmation as we shower and eat breakfast, as well as recalling it at various times throughout the day. We can write it down and carry it with us on a little slip of paper if this helps. Simply by being aware of those first moments, we set the stage for a more conscious, enlivened experience, and we become active participants in the creation of our lives.


Advice on Living the Creative Life from Neil Gaiman

On the heels of last week’s timeless commencement addresses by icons like David Foster Wallace, Ellen DeGeneres, and Ray Bradbury comes this fantastic speech by Neil Gaiman, addressing the 2012 graduating class of the University of the Arts in Philadelphia.

Gaiman himself never graduated from college – in fact, he never even enrolled in college – yet he earned his place in literary culture as one of the most celebrated and prolific writers working today. Here, he imparts several pieces of life-wisdom on young people beginning a career in the arts, summarized below.

Say “no” to projects that take you further from rather than closer to your own creative goals, however flattering or lucrative. (Hugh MacLeod put it beautifully: “The most important thing a creative per­son can learn professionally is where to draw the red line that separates what you are willing to do, and what you are not.”)

Approach your creative labor with joy, or else it becomes work. (As Ray Bradbury said, “Writing is not a serious business. It’s a joy and a celebration. You should be having fun with it.”)

I learned to write by writing. I tended to do anything as long as it felt like an adventure, and to stop when it felt like work – which meant that life did not feel like work.

Embrace your fear of failure. Make peace with the impostor syndrome that comes with success. Don’t be afraid of being wrong.

When things get tough, make good art. Sometimes life is hard. Things go wrong – and in life, and in love, and in business, and in friendship, and in health, and in all the other ways in which life can go wrong. And when things get tough, this is what you should do: Make good art. I’m serious. Husband runs off with a politician? Make good art. Leg crushed and then eaten by a mutated boa constrictor? Make good art. IRS on your trail? Make good art. Cat exploded? Make good art. Someone on the internet thinks what you’re doing is stupid, or evil, or it’s all been done before? Make good art.

Make your art, tell your story, find your voice – even if you begin by copying others. You can get work because of the story you tell about yourself, even if it means embellishing, but you keep working because you’re good.

Enjoy your work and your small victories; don’t get swept up into the next thing before being fully present with the joys of this one. This is an era in which the creative landscape is in constant flux. The rules are being broken down, the gatekeepers are being replaced and displaced.

Now is the time to make up your own rules.

Gaiman sums it all up thusly: Go and make interesting mistakes, make amazing mistakes, make glorious and fantastic mistakes. Break rules. Leave the world more interesting for your being here. Make. Good. Art.


Maybe In Another Universe, I Deserve You


MAY. 14, 2012 By GABY DUNN
What if, in another universe, I deserve you?

Hear me out. There’s this philosopher from the 1890s named William James, and he coined this theory about “the multiverse” which suggests that a hypothetical set of multiple universes comprises everything that can possibly exist simultaneously.

Are you following? The entirety of space, time, matter and energy is all happening at once in different timelines: It’s the idea of parallel universes. Right? So okay, let’s presume the multiverse is real.

Well then, maybe somewhere in those infinite universes is one, or several, where I deserve you.

Maybe there’s a universe out there — happening now — where we end up together and when I close my eyes at night, I’m not dreaming the way a normal person would. Instead I’m seeing flashes of our lives in the multiverse. They’re not simple dreams because I miss you, right? They’re scientific, anachronistic visions.

For instance:

In this universe, I don’t want a family, but maybe in another, I’m more of the type to settle down. Maybe there’s a universe where you hold my hand while I give birth to our daughter in a white hospital room with pink flowers and fuzzy teddy bears on the window sill. Where we take family vacations and pose for dorky pictures in our neon bathing suits on the sands of a Florida beach. Where we curl up to watch a cheesy movie at the end of a long day in our big, green, suburban house once the kids have fallen asleep.

Maybe there’s a universe where we are middle-aged and taking our child to college and bickering over where to put her dresser or what posters she should hang up. Where you kiss her on the forehead ‘goodbye’ and we drive home in contented, proud silence, your fingers grazing my knuckles, our wedding rings glistening. Where we both have gray hair and we laugh and smile and hug and drink lemonade on the porch.

Maybe there’s a universe where that’s the life I want. Where I don’t second guess everything and I’m not afraid of commitment and of the future and of love. Maybe there’s a universe without all the noise in my head and the pride that makes me so fiercely independent and the coldness in my heart that I can turn on and off like a security fence.

Maybe there’s a universe where I’m the right person for you. Where I adore every nice thing you did for me without starting to resent you. A universe where you actually end up with someone who appreciates you. Where no one becomes a doormat. Where both of us can shed our baggage and curiosity and issues. A universe where we’re happy — without wondering if that happiness is some messed-up Jenga game ready to topple at the slightest quiver. A universe where we’re comfortable and sure, and we have cats.

Maybe there’s a universe where we fall asleep next to each other every night like spoons, like two innocent bunnies — my face buried in your neck, hugging your warmth — and we both don’t want anything or anybody else. Where we don’t want more, we just want each other.

Maybe there’s a universe where I don’t covet so much all the time and where I’m content and where I don’t wonder about picking up and moving to Japan without saying anything to anyone and where at this very juncture, I can just know I’ll always want to come home and cook dinner with you.

If you think of it all this way, then it’s like neither of us did anything wrong.

You just found me in the wrong universe. That’s all. This is, as they say, the darkest timeline. Everywhere else, nay, “everywhen” else — us in the Civil War, us in Ancient Egypt, us in the swinging ’60s — we are happy.

If this theory holds, well, by the law of averages, there had to be one universe — just this one — where we don’t end up together. Here and now just happens to be it. If you think of it this way, nothing is our fault.

So see, that explains everything. We’re not together anymore because of the multiverse.

Well, isn’t that comforting?

If you’re sad, do like I do and just think of the other ‘verses. The ones where I believe in love and where I don’t hate myself and where I never feel the need to kamikaze relationships. A universe where we can have nice things. It’s helpful, right?

Because you could have loved me forever. And maybe in another universe, I let you.










好想擁抱妳 擁抱錯過的勇氣"


回到教室座位前後 故意討妳溫柔的罵
黑板上排列組合 妳捨得解開嗎

好想擁抱妳 擁抱錯過的勇氣
好想告訴妳 告訴妳我沒有忘記


3 years 3 months

dearie qinzhi is 3 years n 3 months today.






这个时候的沁芝,生病了,因为mummy把病菌传染给了沁芝,沁芝在姨姨婆婆pasir ris家修养了好几天,好想念沁芝,但听姨姨婆婆说,沁芝不想回来了,一直说不要回去redhill


姨姨婆婆把沁芝照顾得好好,担心mummy这么每天赶来赶去很辛苦,又看着沁芝喜欢pasir ris,不断建议:让沁芝回来吧,让沁芝在pasir ris念幼稚园好了。

突然觉得,过去的坚持,所有的辛苦似乎徒劳了,努力了这么久,沁芝还是比较喜欢pasir ris,几个月的辛苦好像变成零蛋,她就像我小时候一模一样。怎么“历史”的因素这么强烈,这么难抵挡?








i wish u wellness and happiness, every moment, every day. may u b well n happy dearie!




Dear qinzhi

I often think sharing my thoughts n feelings, about anything n everything with u, is the best thing that I can give to u.

This one too.

It dawned upon me that I made your daddy who he is n he made me who I m.

We rub off each other n become like a mirror to each other.

I remember when my mummy passed away, a lot of people were pointing fingers at my daddy too, blaming him for not taking care of my mummy.

That is understandable and rightly so.

But have they thought the other way round? That my daddy is such because my mummy made him to be. She spoiled him so he needn’t have to take part in housework , so he neednt cook, so he neednt be worried, so he needn’t be responsible. So he needn’t take initiative .

She has taken so much good care of everything in the family that he needn’t have to.

I sensed this in my life too.

In big n little ways.

I regret I did not take the fullest of my effort to change ways of your daddy which I did not like. Like when he talks to me, he can be still engaged in something else but not turning to look at me, this old habit has been with him for the past ten years n I have not corrected it. I tried my best n I expressed my displeasure , I did the best I could, but I still could not change it.

n I m suffering from it now. Every time I talk to him.

I absolutely hate it when I m talking to him n he looks elsewhere but at me.

I finally questioned him yesterday: do u talk like that to da jiu jiu?

It is disrespect totally.

But I allowed him n this stayed on in him.

I wondered how he can be oblivious to this n take it as if it were not an issue? Basic courtesy not there.

Emotional reign over me is another, I allowed his ideas n attitudes to override mine, like his ideas on interacting with you. I allowed him once n again, to take his time with you, n now he is not capable of being with u on his own.

Now that i could see him as a result of me, I could also see myself as a result of him.

Looking back, apart from what past I have experienced which has affected me considerably, I know i m shaped v much by him, his thoughts, his attitudes , his feelings.

And I suddenly feel he hasn’t taken the best care of me either. Emotionally especially.

I looked at women around me, my elders, n I think for women in general,They r indeed, a result of love. how well or unwell they r, what attitudes they have, what they choose to embrace in life, it shows or reflects truly the care n attention their partners shed on them.

If they have emotionally satisfying marriages, they are healthy physically n mentally. They do not turn to outside pleasures or spend overwhelming time on religion or other things.

And then, very naturally, they bloom like flowers.

It’s really that simple.

And when the flower realizes , it doesn’t want to depend on someone else to water, that it can fetch water on its own, it is when change will occur.

I think I have really grown, I think my mind is more open these days n is capable of understanding more. The realization makes me appreciate awareness more, how a stable mind is important to make choices so the mind doesn’t just follow blindly.


Innermost Openness

More wisdom fr tsoknyi rinpoche

1) sometimes u feel blocked, cannot feel warmth etc, go back to that innermost openness, drop into that innermost openness.

Clouds are like the thoughts, u don’t want to hold on to beautiful thoughts n feelings, juz look at them passing by without any judgement .

2) talk to your old habitual patterns with kindness
He used the eg of crossing the twin towers in KL to show the residual energy in his subtle body, he has a fear of heights bcoz he fell when he was little, when he couldn’t cross the twin towers, his awareness brought him to understand he is suffering as a result of the past.

“so talk to the old habitual pattern with kindness, it’s true but not real n the pattern will start to shift”

I heard this before, n it came as a reminder. I m brought to mind my fear of seeing the doctor, of death n now, of having a cold.

Like this time when the cold lasted 2 wks, there were times in those 2 wks that I m brought to mind how mummy died bcoz of a cold or flu gone bad.
But at those times, there were a sense of awareness that came on immediately after, that says, that is an incident, I won’t repeat it.

So in a sense, I was talking to my old habitual pattern too.