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Healing xxxxxviii

过了这么久,终于有机会去消化这一阵子的一切

我跟老师说,以前有这么多来这里谈心的机会,现在才知道真的不可以take for granted

这阵子的一切,教会我impermanence。人生的无常。

我这么跟老师说。

太intense了。沁芝、阿嬷、我的健康、工作的改变。没有什么是定数没有什么是可以操控的

我跟老师说阿嬷的离开、阿嬷如何在妈妈过世的时候,进来做妈妈也做阿嬷

阿嬷跟我说:要坚强,勇敢。凡事都不把它当一回事。

还有,感觉阿嬷还在,因为一直以来都是阿嬷在把持这个家。她的力量是多么大

阿嬷过世对我们的家族来说是大事

阿嬷的年代完结了。跟这个年代而来的一切也应该是时候退潮烟消雾散

旧有秩序、系统瓦解,是时候建立新思路、思维、模式

让过去———过去。

我跟老师说,沁芝最近容易发火。容易脾气失控。问老师可以怎么做?

老师说,可以cross her legs,然后双手交叠

老师说,他之前做了很多预防工作。预防发生。比如,他做很多自己身上的工作,因为我们的健康、我们生命中发生的事情,都是我们造成的

所以比如tapping、比如转眼珠。都要照做

老师说,父母的心情也会影响,所以父母亲要先处理好情绪。

老师说,这是一个超乎three dimension的现实。所以很多东西,可以去到那边处理。

而且有些东西,可以交由神佛菩萨帮忙。比如,你去上班,那就请神佛菩萨照顾沁芝。

我说我有!

比如,在做raindrop therapy之前,洁净身心,shower、cleanse your aura to purify yourself。charge yourself with energy from Mother Earth 

恭请divine father、mother earth、神佛菩萨来做healing,他们就是在五度空间

你会感受到不一样

我跟老师说了cyst,以及跟妈妈的联系。我说,就像有什么unresolved issues没有settle那样。

我说,我和先生经历的,可能妈妈也经历过。这样的情绪。妈妈的不被谅解、妈妈的希望,希望被呵护被疼爱被珍惜……

老师点点头

老师问,你父亲和母亲是不是有一些hidden issues是你们不知道的?

我当下没有想到。

老师问,比如,是不是你妈妈没有被承认?或者他们结婚是不是明媒正娶的?

我说我不晓得。

老师问我,觉得我最像妈妈的地方在哪里?我当时想不到。但后来,我觉得————是害怕。

妈妈胆小。我从小就胆小。妈妈很多事都怕,我也是。可能这样,我人生当中的发生,都是为了让我突破这样的能量。这样的局面和局限。

我不需要这样的害怕。

后来老师提到一点——有没有这样的感觉。其实你一路以来都很用力去做那个妈妈会体认、肯定、希望看到的彬雁。不会不及格、循规蹈矩、完美、样样都好的陈彬雁

”你认为你是听话的还是有主见的?”

我说我以前超听话。

但是其实你也可以开玩笑、可以不用每次成功、可以脆弱可以胡闹

你有没有发现?其实你就是用这个方式去记得去留住妈妈?但是真正的你呢?

是时候把自己的power收复回来

重点是觉知

你花了很多时间和用心,但是那个不是你。

真正的陈彬雁。是什么样子的?我好像刚刚从蛋壳里探出头来的小鸡、小鸟。从心底深处,感受到诞生、重新开始的喜悦,还有感激。

老师问,你希望你的未来是怎样的?

我说健康。

老师说,好,一个健康的彬雁,回到家里可以跟孩子玩,美好相处的。

好,那健康的彬雁是怎样走路的?

每天走进家里前,ground yourself,感觉拖着根走进家里。

你会感受到不一样

这都会改变能量,然后很多事都会跟着改变。

尝试作出新的改变。Try something new。

其实这也是我心里有在想的事。

我跟老师说,有那么几天,觉得自己in a state of wreck。

那就接受这个wreck。因为唯有在这样的情况下,旧有的才会被全然地瓦解,才可以有新的滋长

刚刚在洗碗,突然就想到,妈妈好像是在爸爸离开新加坡的时候,有一天受不了了。她好像说了一些很绝的话—-是不是要我死你才肯回来?

这一类的话。

我想到自己。最近沁芝皓皓不舒服,daddy都没有回来帮忙。我一个人扛起很多责任。很多重任。

那种feel alone自己扛的感觉,原来在我的生命中发生了这么多次。比如,怀沁芝的初期,daddy打趣的态度。

还有那次见到他弟弟,他把我藏起来。

为什么我们是一起的,却都是要我一个人承担?

之前很累很需要扶持的时候,儿子女儿家务先生都要我的时候,我有时也会想,万一我不在那要怎么办?

daddy什么时候才懂得要回来这个family?

人为什么都不懂的珍惜?不懂得珍惜家里,把家里看作第一位?真的就必须发生事情才回来吗?

我妈妈我爸爸都的路,原来换了一个时间地点,我和我先生也在走同样的路,感受同样的心情。

为什么会这样?

我想原因有一个,那就是去突破妈妈之前未能突破的,她未完成的。未能圆满的。未能取得和谐的地方。

我可以用我方式我的智慧,我的觉知能力,去圆满它。

妈妈虽然很爱爸爸,但是没有办法和爸爸取得一种精神上打从心底的共鸣。妈妈没有办法得到爸爸的谅解爸爸的珍惜爸爸的体贴。

所以来到我的时候,我特别看重这一些。特别想把心事说给先生听,特别想我的先生了解我,听我,爱我,珍惜我。

打从心底去爱我呵护我体贴我疼惜我。尊重我。

还有就是要我的先生回来家庭。做一家之主应该做的事。不需要再像是我妈妈那样,全然的扛起,或者像是阿嬷那样,完全的扛起来。

妈妈希望爸爸回来,和她一起扛起家的担子。我听过妈妈最大声的抗议,只有两次,一次是爸爸夜里去喝酒,妈妈半夜三更打电话给他,问他怎么还不回来?另一次,是爸爸离开新加坡,妈妈声嘶力竭,从内心深处的哭喊————什么时候要回来?

我妈妈当时无助,好无助,没有办法了。

但不是我。

我很庆幸我有这样的觉知力、洞察力。我绝对相信我可以找另一条路、另一个方式去处理我们的夫妻关系。

不需要像是妈妈那样,一时间、无助时,作出这样的决定。

我可以用各种善巧的方式,请求佛菩萨的加持和灵感的赐予,让我可以用创意的方式去尝试解开这当中好复杂的千丝万缕。

重点是,我的选择可以改变许多事情。可以改变自己,改变孩子,丈夫。我们可以更好。

Dear medicine Buddha, dear Buddha’s and bodhisattva, May I ask you for your blessings , protection and healing onto my mother who has made this decision , for my father , my sister my brother and myself.

Please heal her completely. Please heal us all completely.

We all need to heal from the past. 

We need to come out from this. 

May I also ask for your guidance blessings protection your wisdom so that I can have all the resources all the inspiration and power  all the strength all the support I need to heal myself my daughter my son and my husband.

Please guide me to another path . 

We need not use these drastic ways. We can achieve this thru communication love and your blessings and guidance.

Please help us, dear buddhas, dear guardian angels.

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Power of Prose

Everytime I need, words rescue me.

I derive a lot of power and energy from there, it gives to me a sense of binding peace and calm.

Like this I saw today.

“A moment of insecurity is an opportunity, an invitation to let go and take refuge in the truth of impermanence. When we feel insecure, though, we tend to cling even tighter to our desire for permanence. When we do that, we squander the opportunity. By allowing ourselves to withdraw or contract in the face of insecurity, we miss the fullness of life. In our fear, we forget that a lack of security is not always a bad thing. Insecurity has two sides. One side is the truth of inevitable loss. This is the side we resist. But the other side is the truth of freedom and growth. We often overlook or forget this side of impermanence, but if we really think about it, we may see we don’t want to be stuck with any condition. We need change.

When we inquire into the nature of our own embodied experience, into the nature of our bodies, minds, and emotions, the truth of impermanence is revealed. It becomes clear that there is no certainty, no permanence, only flow and change. This timeless truth pervades everything. We can wake up and realize—not just in our heads but in our hearts, in every cell of our bodies—that everything is transient, that everything is conditioned and impermanent, that there’s not one single condition we can hold onto, no matter how much we love or cherish it. That realization can help us to come out from underneath the burden of our fear, our ambition, our greed, our hatred.

When we feel insecure, we are actually touching an important truth. 

When we find ourselves completely powerless in the face of nature’s wrath, there is nothing left to do but surrender to the truth of things, to give in to a state of not knowing. This is the profound side of insecurity. If we let go into the truth that nothing can ultimately be relied upon, that no one thing in this universe lasts forever, even our own bodies, there is something left. It is a kind of groundless ground, the emptiness that pervades the fullness of things. The Buddha called it dharmata, the spacious expanse.

In the Prajnaparamita Sutra, this idea is expressed in the phrase “Emptiness is form.” That means we can find spaciousness, transcendence, right within the realm of form. We can find liberation, dharma, awakening right within the impermanent manifestation of our lives, in our fleeting existence. The forms that are so impermanent and transient invite us—by virtue of their inevitable demise—into a relationship with freedom and spaciousness.

We don’t have to wait for enlightenment to come to us. We don’t have to create it. We can enter into enlightenment simply by allowing everything to fall apart, until all that’s left is spaciousness. If we have enough confidence that “this too shall pass,” we can begin to live as though it already has. We can surrender everything before it’s gone, until no hope and no fear remain.”

In fact I was beginning to grasp a little of these thoughts. A few days back, I thought about security. There was a lot of fear–what ifs, what if this happens what if that happens? Too many. And you succumb to the fear further and lose grounding.

But even for everyone, there can be no safeguard against life. As I get so caught up in the fear, a thought started to open up in me, that——–There can be no certainty in things going a certain way, and by binding myself to this way, I m stopping myself from the other possibilities that would blossom in time.

Why not? Go with the flow and make the best out of it? Let yourself, let life not be stopped. Continue to—-Go On.

Why not? Be happy? I watched a Kpop drama on Saturday and in it, the female lead said something to this effect, that “I have been living life this way all this 37 years, I want it to change going forward. As I do not want to live it this way anymore, I m sorry I have not prioritised you in the past, I made you suffer, I did not acknowledge you….”

These words ring a bell to me.

I have also subjugated myself and relegated myself to a place of lesser importance. I have not acknowledged and taken good care of myself. I lived in so much fear and anxiety. Isnt it enough?

Do I still want to live this way?

No.

This is probably the biggest teaching Qinzhi is giving to me. To let it go, let the past and the old go, these which do not serve me any longer. To open myself up to new possibilities and arrive at new thought systems.

And, to be happy. There are so many other possibilities, so many more wonderful things to pursue. Be Happy for there are still so many things we can be grateful for and do to improve on.

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新年快乐

凌晨看烟花汇演,知道原来自己走过许多路。

以前会和daddy在那里看烟花。后来在家里。在家里的时候,daddy还会跟我一起看。到后来,他会跟我一起看,但不会看完。这次,我自己看。

看烟花的时候,默默念诵,祈求健康平安喜乐。

然后想起一个朋友对我说过的一番话。他说,生命中一切的相遇都是礼物🎁。都是恩赐。

那天见老友淑燕,跟她说我心中的恐惧。她说,养儿育女本来就是充满未知。何不把一切看作是新的体验?

不悲不喜。

我在想,看作是礼物是什么感觉?拆开礼物、如何用它?

就是感恩的心。

包红包,依然是开心的事情。看烟花也是。吃团圆饭也是。无论如何,大家有这个机会在一块吃团圆饭。这是多么多么珍贵多么了不起多么值得庆祝的事。

om ma me pad me hung.

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Healing XXXXXvi

去见老师

舒服许多

需要这个空间给自己给自己的情绪

老师说,沁芝的事他想了很多

也会做distance healing

那就是走进沁芝的energy field去感受去疗愈

老师说,沁芝因为爱,选择牺牲自己的健康,为的就是让我们看到我们不一致的步伐

为了沁芝我们真的真的不可以吵架了

老师给了许多个提议

-用左手画画,那就是用我们的unconscious mind画画

-沁芝刚入睡快起床的时候,在这个微妙的subconscious state最relaxed。这个时候输入信息最棒,因为吸收度最高。所以老师建议,因为沁芝的问题出在nervous system,刚睡时,不妨对沁芝说,you are peace and calm,如此告诉沁芝。或者想要她成为的样子。早上醒来,轻微tap胸口,说,沁芝起来了,也请沁芝的immunity system起来。调整sluggish immunity behavior

-老师说,要帮助沁芝,率先要做好自己。沁芝让我们知道我们not on theright track。所以改变自己,驶入正确跑道才是沁芝疗愈和康复的方法

-除了metamorphosis,老师重新提起tapping。把担忧的tap 掉,把想看到的输入。改变未来。

-问老师可以怎么清理家里的energy?老师说,可以把照相机照下家里的样子,摆在纸盒里,摆在吉祥物之下,每日送光。

-还有一点,就是communicate on the soul level

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可不可以丢掉————回忆?

回忆可不可以丢掉?

那天在整理家里,大扫除的意思,本想把这箱子的回忆丢掉。打开之后,看到不知道什么时候写的这些文字。心疼了起来。

想着可能有一天,真的如上面所言。可以用上。于是又把它收起来。

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Goodbye 2018

Is it 31 Dec already? I didn’t think I have digested everything that 2018 brought me as yet and time is moving on.

As always.

The end of 2018 brought me quite a bit at the last bit——–Lots of everything in life that would have you sit up and stand on your toes. Qinzhi’s seizure was shocking and a big awakening for me. Pretty much like a tsunami that rocked my world. The ishinomaki trip sort of made sense now.

Its a big lesson I received and I believe——-my and my family’s collective doing that brought this to fruition. All of us had a part to play to ring this in this direction. But I believe this is what I and my family need to work on collectively so we can all go to the next level. Together and in unison.

We were not united enough. Our thoughts were not together as a family. The binding was not there.

I looked back at my Goodbye 2017 post, I recounted what I tried my hands on and what I wanted to do in 2018. I said this—-

“In the new 2018 that has just birthed, I would like to:

  1. spend more time with my family, my kids, my husband
  2. spend more time with myself
  3. be more healthy
  4. heal my keloids
  5. sleep earlier
  6. do less work
  7. do more holidays with my precious ones!
  8. do 5 min of practice a day
  9. learn to be still , to be quiet
  10. get more creative, intuitive,
  11. be more in touch with myself
  12. do videos that make a difference, write or say things that would inspire, hence express my light and that of others, and be the magic to people around me.
  13. work on a tv programme!
  14. keep that wonder, that purity in me.
  15. 我想学习过得自在一点,老师说,生活其实不需要那么辛苦的,只是,很多的约定俗成和旧有模式,让我们疲惫疲累。其实,生活是可以很轻松的。我想学!

Did I achieve the above?

Maybe half of those came true. Was 2018 kind to me? Actually very much so.

I travelled and visited many places, had the privilege to interview and got in touch with many wonderful people. I saw their magic, captured their magic and got them out on videos for the world. It was magical and magic time and again I witnessed and experienced. Thru out it all, I remained true and did not lose myself. I maintained to be me.

I spent great effort at work and invested heavily in getting to know myself better. I imbued my learning and development into my work and created works that had insight and meaning.

But if I could do anything better, I should have put in more for my family. Both quantity and quality wise. I came home to cook for my family and had dinner with them every night. I read storybooks and we chatted at bedtime.

To capture 2018’s magic and lessons would be rounding these points below.

  1. The meaning of life and its purpose. If we are aligned to our life purpose, things flow. For me, the meaning and purpose of life, is to be true and to say it as it is. Like a mirror, nothing more and not less.
  2. Life is transient and impermanent.
  3. What is to listen? How do you listen to another’s soul?
  4. What is to love? What is love if it causes hurt? And if you do not know about loving yourself—-how do you love another?
  5. To be gentle with yourself. Only then can you be gentle to others.
  6. All change with substance comes from within.
  7. What is to trust the process or the divine? How do you apply this understanding to the process?
  8. What is to let go?
  9. What is to offer your presence? And especially, what does it mean to offer your presence to your loved ones?
  10. What is putting others before you?
  11. What is giving when you are not giving to yourself ?
  12. Some things in life cannot be undone.
  13. Old practices, methods, pathways, attitudes, modes have been exhausted and new ones are in need.
  14. No matter what, be grounded be humble be gentle. Our opinions are not the most important.
  15. Learn from children, they are our teachers.
  16. Transform. Transform, TRANSFORM. Use every opportunity to practice this.
  17. Awareness is of utmost importance. Continue to work on Mindfulness.
  18. Imprints. There are too many imprints in each and everyone of us. We live in our reality projected from these lived past that we do not have enough awareness about and reacts from these past circumstances.
  19. Healing and breaking through to stop repeating cycles.

In spite of it all, I am immensely thankful and in awe of 2018 and its teachings. If I ever veered off, all of the teachings above helped set priorities in place, humbling you in the process of it all and calling out a deepest reverence for life and to honour and believe its processes.

And with this, with the brand new 2019, I sincerely ask for courage, patience, wisdom, creativity and a solid good heart of gold filled with a lot of love, that will be with me every moment of the way, so as to support me in arriving at novel and never before perspectives, create new attitudes and habits, creative modes and a new order or new systems that will provide a safe nurturing loving space for everyone to co-create and experience freedom———-so as to express their light. And in there, realise the magic they are.

May we be always always protected, healed, helped and richly blessed and guided by our light, by our guardian angels and the divine.

Thank you for all you have brought me 2018. As I read my previous posts, I get inspirations all over again—- such as:

-Every step is a step forwards,

-We have the power to change the story we tell ourselves by acknowledging that in the past, we did our best, and we exhibited many positive qualities, and had many fine moments on our path to the present moment. We can also recognize that we have learned from our experiences, and that this will help us with our current choices. When we do this kind of work on how we view our past self, we make it possible for the future to be based on a positive self-assessment. This inner shift may allow us to get out of the cycle we’ve been in that’s been keeping us stuck.

-calm mind: The dalai lama says that inner peace n calm is the key to a healthy body. He drew a parallel between calmness immunity. If u r calm n had this inner peace, nothing could rock u however big or small.

– life is more of an improvisation than it is like a play whose lines have already been written, whose end is already known. Like an improviser, we have choices to make and the more we embrace the illusionary quality of the performance, the lighter we can be on the planet, on others, and on ourselves.

-When you go with the ride, accepting what you cannot control, freedom and joy will inevitably arise. We can also cultivate this awareness in ourselves gently, by simply making surrender a daily practice. At the end of our meditation, we might bow, saying, “I surrender to this life.” We can give in to our fear and anxiety, or we can surrender to this great mystery with courage.

It is our response to those circumstances that will dictate the nature of our experiences. At the heart of every transformation, no matter how chaotic, there is substance. When we no longer resist change and instead regard it as an opportunity to grow, we find that we are far from helpless in the face of it. Our role as masters of our own destinies is cemented when we choose to make change work in our favor. Yet before we can truly internalize this power, we must accept that we cannot hide from the changes taking place all around us. To make change work for you, look constructively at your situation and ask yourself how you can benefit from the transformation that has taken place. As threatening as change can seem, it is often a sign that a new era of your life has begun. If you reevaluate your plans and goals in the days or weeks following a major change, you will discover that you can adapt your ambition to the circumstances before you and even capitalize on these changes. Optimism, enthusiasm, and flexibility will aid you greatly 

As we move towards a new beginning, I give thanks for the opportunity to welcome this new dawn and the times it will bring me.

I have no doubt that this in itself is already a blessing. We have to do our best to make good this opportunity. Breathe well, eat well, keep well, feel well be well. And use every opportunity to practise the dharma and its teachings.

I thank all my guardian angels who have helped me reach here, including my teacher who has always listened and supported with kind advice.

May all sentient beings be well and happy. May all sentient beings have happiness and its causes. May all sentient beings be free from suffering and its causes. May all sentient beings never be separated from sorrow less bliss. May all sentient beings abide in equanimity, be free from anger, hatred and share compassion for all other beings.

May the new beginning inspire us with lots of light and love. Let there be creativity, open mindedness, magnanimity, flexibility, optimism, may we all have boundless courage to pursue what we believe in, may there be favourable conditions to support our healing and development. May we all experience pure joy, wonder, freedom, happiness, wherever you are. May 2019 be magic.

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Understanding This

我还是有许多的不明白和不知所措。

12月31日,整理blog,发现了沁芝的许多——沁芝曾经是那么的宝贝。怎么事情会变成这样?就因为长大了吗?

以前的几乎每一个blog entry,都是写给沁芝的。有了沁芝以后,我什么都告诉她。就像是我内心的朋友,什么都要跟沁芝说。包括自己最不堪不安的一面,都要老实禀报。我的喜怒哀乐。我的痛苦挑战。blog里头有生命最甜美的小事,也有和daddy意见不合的投诉种种。全部都让沁芝知道。

比如我说过这样的话——早在2011年,我说深深向沁芝鞠躬,因为mommy没有为沁芝的到来做好心理准备,心里的不安也许让沁芝难过了。小时候不在有mommy的情况下成长,所以也觉得沁芝没有mommy在身边也是可以应付的。

我写说:“我要教导沁芝,乐观、坚强、勇敢。我必须先乐观坚强勇敢。”

然后呢?每天的每天当中,失去了对这些承诺的把握。慢慢的,失去了自己的想法执着。割舍掉和沁芝的时间。我看到了我的自私, 我重视自己多于选择为沁芝好的选择。比如我选择工作,由姨姨婆婆照顾沁芝。我可以理解,这是因为我自己的童年使然。我的童年在奶妈家,没有妈妈的日子里成长,不晓得有妈妈的样子。沁芝就是在教我,唤醒我的这一点。w

我看到我写,“Dear Qinzhi,Do not forget how special u r. When u were as young as 26 mths n attended kindermusik , u were always non conforming like other children. You would not sit with mummy or daddy whilst other children did. You always had a mind of your mind. Bravely go for what you want. What do you want? Remember not to give those up easily, because you r so so special.”

但是现在的沁芝总是被割舍。有了皓皓以后,投入工作以后,一点一点割舍给她的时间和空间————于是她也学习到割舍掉自己。

2010年我生日,“今年最好的一份礼物就是沁芝叫:“妈妈”。ah hui阿姨说,沁芝前一天才会叫的。

昨天看着一张张沁芝的照片,很甜美,很甜美。看着,总是感动。我问自己,要如何守护这个家?让它像是沁芝的笑这么幸福?
这么甜美?这么美好?
让沁芝安心、稳定?还是必须从发自内心的宁静开始。要让沁芝在最健康的环境下成长、欢笑?大人内心必须先健康、安宁。

但是我只说却做不够。

另一天我写————“今天沁芝看着mummy,凑过来,时而把脸凑过来贴近我的脸,双手绕过mummy的颈项抱抱、亲亲。谢谢你,我的宝贝。”

真相就是这样。尽管沁芝给我带来那么多,我给的还是不够。这一年来,沁芝每天都写我爱你的纸条和卡片—Mommy I Love You。非常非常非常非常渴望得到我的注意和疼爱。我都没有听到她的声音。

这是一件连我自己也不太明白的事情。写给沁芝的点滴,感情都那么的真实动人。但为什么我还是不够爱沁芝呢?就因为沁芝来的太突然吗?还是还有什么其他的原因啊?有什么其他我还不明白的?和我自己和母亲怀我的时候有关吗?妈妈懂我吗?听到我吗?

拉开记忆。我自己小时候和妈妈和记忆是空白的。我唯一想到的是,孩子都是模仿的动物,所以我我们都会用所知的那一套去运用于生活。我妈妈是这样在爱我对吧?

——————也是把我放在奶妈家。我没有留长发。没有各种如同其他女孩那样,飘逸多彩的裙子、花俏的链子耳环。都是简朴的。

那是我妈妈的做法和风格。可能也取决于当时的生活条件,我可以明白那是她为了工作养活我们,于是承继下来。毫无疑问没有思考地承继下来。然后有了沁芝之后也以我所知的那样去重复。

小时候的我也喜欢留长发的,也喜欢其他小女生那样恨女生的发饰、裙子、包包。但没有也不觉得没什么大不了。但是沁芝不一样。沁芝就是让我知道,她和我不一样,我不能让、要求别人跟我一样,必须去照顾别人的想法和感受。必须这样自己突破。

现在长大了可以理解当时生活不容易,但我不存在于妈妈的年代,我其实是完全有能力放弃工作照顾孩子的。只是我没有那么选择。没有那么选择也不是错,只是要如何在这当中,继续爱护守护沁芝。给她空间去诠释、开拓自己。

回头看这一切,非常明了大局、前因如何把我们推向这样的后果。我就是这样一步步毫无怀疑地走向这里的。因为历史、因为过去、因为一切的一切滚动推力。

但是我也看到我们可以做很多事。才不至于让女儿重复我们。我看到我们可以一起用一家人的力量整顿生命,非常宝贵的生命。去改变我们习以为常、根深蒂固的态度做法。

这件事要我们做的,真真切切就是去uproot已经不受用、不能够serve我们的逻辑系统。一家人去创造新的可能性、新的途径。

这几天一直处在担忧、害怕当中。我可以做的,就是学习面对,去完全接受。如同仁波切说的那样————尝试与它做朋友。然后依循着这件事去观察、探索、去改变,去转化,创造新的条例和秩序。帮助我自己,也帮助我们一家人。

如同老师所说,就是要先康复自己。觉知一切,突破一切,取得崭新的视角,去创造新的局面和可能性。这是一次破裂和深刻的重塑、再造机会。尝试各种以前没有尝试的,去试探去探索。有许多的可能性。

我想我可以。一步一步。跟着直觉,内心。

May the divine and my guardian angels, support me greatly and guide me each and every step of the way. May we all receive healing and love, May the creative spark be always with me to intuitively create new possibilities and a new tender loving energy. For myself, my kids, my family and the world.

And one more thing———–Be happy! Because all this, life, is so precious.