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Thank You 2017, and, Goodbye

Has it been one year already?

The 2016 goodbye post seemed so far, far away. And with a new year coming in less than 24 hours, I feel unprepared for it.

Maybe because I have not written about my 2017.

That day in my mind spa session, I asked Mr Ng how to close the year. I felt like I was in the slur or the flurry of it all. Maybe because there were too many events, emotions ran high and I haven’t had the time to process those bits.
And being the teacher he is, he suggested looking back to recognize and acknowledge the gains and the harvests the year 2017 has brought.
“Even if there were lows, unhappiness, challenges, I see you have many fruitful gains.”
What did I do?
It all seemed so far away now. But let me try ——— counting my blessings in the tiniest way. And I want to number them too.
  1. I tried and became a salesman. It was something I never thought of, dreamt of. But I became one. Was it tough? Maybe not, was it horrible? Not as bad as I thought.
  2. I tried my hand at negotiating business deals.
  3. I learned how to write proposals.
  4. I learnt to make money in another way I was not accustomed to. And that brought lots of lessons to me, its about opening up horizons and expanding boundaries. Just this alone brought me many, one of which was to learn about humility. Its also about doing business in a upfront honest way. Its knowing your own strengths and using it too to the benefit of others.
  5. Now that I m writing about it, I understand how I have been—-I used to only think of the art the emotions and that’s all too easy. Like team mates who must have thought why I have derided, why have I drifted, I think I can safely say no. It’s not that I have drifted or crossed over to the dark side and swopped figures for art, but it’s all too easy— in fact too empty to talk about art when dollars and cents are not in the picture. Nothing moves.
  6. I understand about balance more. I think with that in mind, I can do my art better.
  7. And now, I understand why the Universe sent me this lesson. It was to let me appreciate that at the basic level and for things to work, art surely isn’t it. At least, its not the only way. It was to let me appreciate how dollars and cents could move the world. And how I could put my art in there.
  8. I brought in people and tried to build a team. There were lots of unhappiness I would say but I dealt with it to the best of my ability. Still, there are regrets. But Mr Ng suggested:”if you compare yourself to other bosses, how do you think you fare?much better than many of them right?” YES.
  9. I tried to help a colleague, in fact more than one— see the light.
  10. I have never used my stature as a boss to boss people around, in fact, I shared my experiences with them as a senior would, and I think that is my way or my style as a leader. I have always sought out the middle path and to strike out my own style, I m still on my way. But I can say, good try TPY!
  11. I did not bow down to unfair treatment.
  12. I learnt to speak up—- for myself and my teammates when needed.
  13. I had the chance to fly to shanghai for work, meet with top class producers and discuss my ideas, and these ideas touched people. I still am creative.
  14. And all these helped me assert my authority. I think the lesson to learn is to acknowledge the authority in me. It’s not about pleasing anyone. But to do what is needed and what’s right in the workplace.
  15. I had a chance to visit Hokkaido, made new friends, go to the root of the food chain and see for myself how things are done. In short, find out truth.
  16. I saw how the salmon swam upstream!
  17. I had a chance to take Hui gor tin Davina to Bangkok!
  18. I had a chance to bring the kids to a resort holiday in Phuket .
  19. I had a chance to bring the kids for staycations!
  20. I slept with my kids!
  21. I read to my kids!
  22. I had a chance to bring my family to Japan , especially gor gor and dad.
  23. We saw Mt Fuji!!!
  24. I had the chance to see the Dalai Lama in person!!!
  25. I met Khadro lah !!!!!!!
  26. I met Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche again!!!
  27. I had the chance to visit Tso Pema!!!!!!! Guru Rinpoche’s sacred place! And had my footprint and handprint on his!!!!!!!!
  28. I had the chance to fly business class back from India!
  29. I had so so so many wonderful meetings with extraordinary people—-like the King of Knives! Like the chefs!
  30. I had opportunities to do videos!
  31. I saw Mr Robuchon again and Alain Ducasse.
  32. I get a chance to realign my teeth.
  33. I did a dental implant on my own.
  34. I visited ah ma in hospital and at home.
  35. I tried to help my cousin who had skin problems.
  36. I had the chance to better myself and understand my keloids my body better because of the essential oil journeys, so much facilitated by Juan, John and Peyjin.
  37. I found a lot of grounding ease with essential oils.
  38. I got my kids into EOs and used natural healing methods on them.
  39. I got closer to eating vegetarian.
  40. I had wonderful produce nice chocolates, good food.
  41. I persevered and cooked everyday for my kids on weekdays lunch and dinner.
  42. Above all, I could breathe, I could eat and drink, sleep and do things that matter to me.
  43. I m still me, I remained me.

If 2016 has been a taste or teaching of alignment, grounding, life purpose, 2017 was a step further in these lessons, as situations , people, things, threw me in all directions and tested my resolve and my footing in each of the above.

I didn’t think I faltered even if there were challenging times.

I am still me.

In the new 2018 that has just birthed, I would like to:

  1. spend more time with my family, my kids, my husband
  2. spend more time with myself
  3. be more healthy
  4. heal my keloids
  5. sleep earlier
  6. do less work
  7. do more holidays with my precious ones!
  8. do 5 min of practice a day
  9. learn to be still , to be quiet
  10. get more creative, intuitive,
  11. be more in touch with myself
  12. do videos that make a difference, write or say things that would inspire, hence express my light and that of others, and be the magic to people around me.
  13. work on a tv programme!
  14. keep that wonder, that purity in me.
  15. 我想学习过得自在一点,老师说,生活其实不需要那么辛苦的,只是,很多的约定俗成和旧有模式,让我们疲惫疲累。其实,生活是可以很轻松的。我想学!

May the universe and my guardian angels support me, guide me, bless me, be with me always.

May the new beginning bring forth lots of light and clarity. Let there be true vision, stability, strength. May you find the quiet, peacefulness and freedom you need and may you find beauty, wonder and magic in the moments in between.

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Friend of Michelin 米其林之友

https://guide.michelin.com.hk/michelin-unveils-its-first-friend-of-michelin

I saw this first as a thought, like a seed of sorts. Then with some imagination, little expectation, I made contact. And today, he’s become a Friend of Michelin, the first ever in history since the guide has come into being. Sharing this dream project with all of you foodies. And I say again, that this magic food can do, has to be savoured with loved ones. They make good food, unforgettable. And when the act of eating becomes an experience, they will forever be stored as memories. 謝霆鋒《鋒味》 FriendofMichelin #米芝蓮之友 MichelinGuideHongKongMacau2017 #yenmuzremember

 

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Just fly & other beautiful moments

Was on my way to work n passed by a patch of green.

There were little sparrows, the road was busy with activity but I still heard them chirp.

It was beautiful because there was awareness in that moment.

Without awareness I wouldn’t b in that moment to capture that truth that happened.

I remember being very stretched one day stepping out of the office n I saw a bird drink from a pool of water.

I remember telling teacher about how I would b especially attracted to a bird even if I was walking on the pavement.

Teacher’s reply- birds stand for freedom n taking flight.

I heard this voice again this morning. With awareness, I also heard an inner voice say, 

“If you don’t stop yourself, no one else can stop you from flying. The sky’s the limit–so, fly. Be fearless. Fly off.”


I hadn’t watched tv for a long time. But At this point in time, I was particularly drawn to a Taiwanese drama. It speaks of the love a man has for a woman. That ran so so deep, he gave her up So she could b free.

I could concur with that feeling because I had bf ‘s blessings to go do what I like.

That was why I felt so moved n attracted.

As I was walking on the pavement again, I saw leaves falling.


It reminded me of the wonder in that moment when I was interviewing Nicholas Tse. 

He was genuinely happy talking about an autumn in childhood. When he was walking and the brown orangey leaves rustled under his feet. I could hear the sound as he spoke.

That’s the beauty of an interview. You travel and wonder . And I m sure I will b reminded of this another time I tread on fallen autumnal leaves.

It is all the more wonderful when I remember how this all began–it is food that took me travelling.

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追梦

梦想很美,追梦的过程可能就不一样。可能很不美。

比如沁芝怀皓病了,我不在他们身边。

比如一个人在路上,看到空荡荡的马路。

比如看到机场这样。

 

都让我一再反问自己这就是我要的吗?

梦想很美,因为需要牺牲。牺牲掉一样美、或者更美的东西。

梦想很美,因为有愿意这么交换的人。因为交换的人单纯只看到梦想,没有看到牺牲。

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9 June 2016

June 9 is an important day in my life.

Almost like a rebirth. I guess no one would tie themselves up with a profession so much but i did. Unwittingly, my profession has become me.

I stepped out of the office n is greeted by the evening golden hue, so gentle and therapeutic.

Then I saw birds swoop n fly, chirpy happy n carefree.

I thought I saw my cells dancing with joy.

My shoulders lighten.

Submitted my letter of resignation on this day.

I joined in 2002, July.

Close to 14 years here.

It was so difficult to hand in the letter.

SPH gave me so much.

Especially when I had none or was lost.

It was my backbone my support my escape.

There was a lot of emotion in here.

I felt my pulse race. Shaky, seated on my desk.

And I prayed and asked for support, felt better and more stable then went straight to my boss. It turned out much much better than I had imagined. Everything was peaceful and cordial and in harmony.

I never expected it would turn out this peaceful.

And I m very thankful for that. Super thankful.

I walked out feeling lighter n happier.

I walk out feeling a bit unsteady as well. Now without an anchor.

It made me realize how much I was hanging on to this place.

Or how much it meant to me.

Now without it, I m unsure uncertain and a bit directionless.

I do not know what lies ahead. And I quit having these feelings, not having signed up at another place yet.

And I think I give credit to myself for that.

For taking this step.

I know that I can handle the front.

It is so difficult for me not only because of all that I have here. It is difficult for me because I’m making this decision for myself.

When I came in, I was a little girl fresh out of school not knowing what to expect, lured by the wonderful terms n remuneration.

Now it is difficult because I want to make this decision for myself and to take charge of my life.

I steer my life now and is not to be limited like before.

There is bigger space and a lot of it.

And how to do this?

I don’t know.

But the fact is I want to do it. It is this commitment that is not easy.

If I were to stay, I would continue to have an anchor n rest in the support. I would not go anywhere very far because I would be in the system n I can happily rest being in the care of someone else who will direct n decide how far I go.

But now, it’s boundless!

The sheer feeling of the unbounded space is so wonderful so healing.

I m happy !

And I pray that I receive support and healing, blessings and lots of it in the days ahead.

I know this is going to be about letting go of past, habits, thoughts, patterns, memories. The days ahead will be about creation, charting new grounds and fulfilling TPY.

Most of all, I know I can, be the best of me, high definition and go where I want to be.

Om

11 June

去做能让自己最快乐的事,做自己“想这样做”的事,依自己想做的方式做,就行了。那么就算评语不好,就算书卖不好,也可以想成“算了,没关系。至少自己快乐了”,就多少可以接受。

—村上春树《身为职业小说家》

12 June

“When faced with a choice… do you choose taking hard action or to make the easy excuse?” 

It can seem so much “nicer” to avoid the difficult actions.

Does it really assist you in achieving your goals?

Are you here on the planet to actually DO something?

Is each decision or action moving you forward?

I am choosing to use the blends of the FEELINGS COLLECTION to support me in “taking a closer look” this week . . .

Most of you know that I often use them.  However, we may have new people who are not familiar with them.

The six essential oil blends in the Feelings™ Collection were formulated by D. Gary Young to promote emotional clearance and self renewal. Collection includes:

• Valor

•Harmony

•Forgiveness

•Inner Child

•Release

•Present Time

Inspired by D. Gary Young’s life experiences, the Feelings Collection lifts negative impressions and allows openness to new beginnings.

Everyone has experienced lasting adverse impressions that scar our inner self, prohibiting self growth and accomplishment. Following the Feelings regimen, one can begin the path of self identification by aligning emotions.

“Negative experiences and ideas are recorded in our brains and locked into our memories throughout our lives. These memories range from mild to extreme and have a profound effect on our health and happiness. In order to become who we are intended to be, we must erase these negatives and reprogram our thoughts to make positive ideas our reality.”  

—D. Gary Young 

After layering these oils, you may choose to add some additional blends, such as  . . . LIGHT THE FIRE, HIGHEST POTENTIAL, 3 WISE MEN, CLARITY, TRANSFORMATION, or WHITE ANGELICA . . . Perhaps it is good to try different ones to see which combination is most meaningful for you.

Its amazing how answers show up in our lives. Especially these few days.

The headache was horrible. I have been having it since i seriously contemplated the switch.

It was difficult for me.

Its about growing up and choosing the path— to grow up.

Because I didnt really want to grow up!

I want to be in the care of people. I didnt want to take charge of myself!

I didnt want to be in charge!

But in the new position, I will be in charge!!!!!!!

In charge of other people, thats not too difficult, or at least that isn’t the most difficult part to me.

The most difficult part is to be committed to being in charge of myself.

My health, my mental growth and simply being responsible for myself.

I ducked in under this pressure—that caused the headache and fog in my mind.

I chose to back away from responsibility, like how my dad once has.

I chose to escape.

I didnt know what to do, I feel like an orphaned child, or a life buoy in the sea.

But with this awareness I can change things.

I acknowledge the feeling and the act of escaping that I have done.

I acknowledge that this could be a learned way of behaviour, most probably impacted on me by my father who has escaped and left us before because that was the only way he knew.

I did it now.

But with this awareness, I tell myself too, that there can be good things about being an orphan, there can be good things about being a buoy in the boundless ocean.

Start small TPY.

Bit by bit in the right direction.

What would you like to do?

I like to continue to write with my heart, to transmit the good thoughts and meanings chefs and others have found in their lives.

At this stage in time, its about chefs and their food, I’ll put my energy into transmitting and sharing all these good energies that will enrich people’s lives outwards, like light.

To inspire to give warmth and light, and maybe initiate a change.

The end is not in sight on this path.

Its boundless what I can do with this heart.

It will be about fulfilling my true potential.

I remember I had this very strong feeling about choosing this new path. I knew it will be one with a lot to learn and be inspired with, it will be full of energies and ideas and thoughts and wisdom. I just know.

And I know that being on this path with open me up further, deepen my knowledge and wisdom and depth as a person. I know in all these undertakings, I will be healed naturally and organically not only in the physical sense but also spiritually.

Then while used the FIR sauna, i watched a video on Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche going into retreat.

And yes, going to this new place is exactly me going into retreat in a bigger sense, it will be about learning what matters and how to be a better me.

It will be about healing and nourishing myself.

Like a butterfly out of the cocoon I will be. In time.

Then i read Frances ’s mail.

Everything was so apt.

I answered those questions and I knew that choosing this new path will be about moving myself forward.

It will be about breakthroughs that I m planned for.

I just need to put my feet forward and to walk each step grounded.

用左手书写,看看是否能碰触到大脑潜意识深层那一块。

“我头疼没觉得不清楚,混沌不清,不能呼吸,因为我不想面对。不想面对真是懦弱的自己,想逃避对自己负责任,想避开困难,所以有身体反应。然而我的灵魂知道这样逃避是不对的,也不是我要的。出现了习惯行为和灵魂认知碰撞的局面。抛开习惯性作风,跟着soul去吧。”

Reading my note right from the beginning made me realise, it was my fear and worry or anxiety about not having an anchor that gave me headaches!!!

Its about me not acknowledging myself enough, not believing myself enough.

Always looking elsewhere for support.

So this new path is about me validating myself.

GO TPY GO.

You can.

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也有今天

有点不知所措。

然后我就感觉到自己要shut down。

然后我想到我碰到不想面对不知如何是好的事情的时候都会这样,有这个态度kick in。

然后我告诉自己,不需要再重复那个方法那个习性。

可以借此突破。

所以我鼓起所有的努力,告诉自己:可以的,可以创意的处理,可以灵活的取巧。希望在这样的努力上,获得一切的助缘。

然后带着这样的心情踏进餐馆。厨师不在。

要怎么吃?要怎么学习吃肉?那感觉很奇特,有点像是第一次看到鱼子酱或黑鲔鱼或什么珍馐

我不能再像之前那样大口大口,一刀切下,毫无顾忌。每一口都是一次的挣扎,吃一口好想就在吃掉自己,但不吃,又好像很难对公关和服务员交代,

纵然开始前,我已经要求把蛋白质减到最少的分量,纵然服务员已经说:你不需要吃完,否则会很饱,只是品菜。

但对我来说,每一口都在觉知与否之间,在自律与否之间,在自己或他人之间,美食当前,很容易乱了方寸,一口一口我都在算。

这tasting,在我的人生当中带有转变的意味,应该也是我人生当中最重要的一个tasting。

至少,它提醒我,带着觉知去吃,那是一种怎样的感觉。

回来后有点沮丧——美食当前,但这并不是我要,或能服务我的食物,也有食物没法激起我的兴趣,给我快乐的一天。

都是相当有创意的菜色。比如这个爱尔兰螃蟹与泰式绿咖喱、鹅肝Brulee、烤鲭鱼与马铃薯、72小时真空烹调澳洲和牛。

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问题不是菜,是我。

我的生命中不需要这个了,不需要

不需要大鱼大肉才能生命色彩和快乐。

相反,看到这个很开心。是罗勒冰糕,豌豆苹果沙拉,橄榄饼干。

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蛋白质没法给我快乐的这一天,我感觉沮丧。但后来也感觉开心。

开心的是,我知道我再需要什么,拿外在的什么来圆满自己,开心的是,我又再靠近自己多一点。

我更加知道我需要什么。

好像有另一亩地,突然从地壳升起。

我知道我又要开垦了。

很好玩,餐馆取名CURE。

其实人生就是一面镜子,碰到的事都是让你看清自己多一点,只要能从人事看到自己,那就一种没有沉浸或拘泥当中的体验,

分开你我,不就是

meditation吗?

刚才关于品菜之后的分析,就是meditation的练习。

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Making bread

Had my first experience baking bread with Baker & Cook’s New Zealand founder Dean Brettschneider .

I wouldn’t say i love the experience, but it was new n it surely opened me up further and wider. 

And if that were the case, it has succeeded, because any experience should expand you, not narrow you further .
There were a few insights i gained making bread, and a few parts i particularly enjoyed.

Like kneading it, like mixing the flour and water into the dough. Feeling it. Feeling it come to life.

As if something in the heart has been translated into the dough. In the process.

And what about the insights ?

It would be, that bread is like a mirror, really. That reflects the qualities of the baker as a person.

However you are, the bread will be.

My bread didn’t rise as much as the others, and it was because in the kneading process, i was tough with it. I wasn’t gentle enough. I didn’t know how to love it.

I like a few things Dean said, like the dough is very delicate and you would have to be as gentle treating it, as if you were handling a baby.

And that you would have to put on your thinking caps, use your mind, your hands and your heart in the baking process, because you are dealing with natural things, pretty much like handling a 2yr old.

In the process of handling, he was gentle yet decisive. Those translated to a bread that would look really good and be really yums. The seemingly easy moves mattered through and through. The signature is in the details.

And I m sure people eating it would feel it.

My bread didnt rise as much because I knocked too much gas out of it. 

“And gas is precious”, Dean said.

That was foreign n I loved it.

It showed me that I knew little n that I had learnt more.

Dean tried to show me by gripping my hands, on my left, he used more pressure, and on my right, less. He was holding them the same, yet different.

And i knew immediately the difference.

I had been too tough on the bread and it couldn’t take it.

This sort of brought me to think if i was too hard on others and myself.

If the bread was another person, probably I would come across as being aggressive and strong.

It showed me an image of myself.

It enlightened me about how I could b gentler with myself.

With my grasp.

I learnt to b gentleness n malleability. And to b gentle  with the grasp in the process, it has to start on the mind or heart.

And how gently you treated it, how you treated it, it would return to you in the same measure, only later.

As in life, there would be an equal an opposite reaction.

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