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Owning the present

I was sitting n the qns popped up:
How do we own the present?

The last time I sat, I realised “now is the most precious thing I have,yet we keep trading it for smthg else.”

But we have to carry out activities. So how do we carry out our activities n still own the present?

I asked: is mindfulness enough? Being aware enough?

Yet, lightly n “don’t focus too much” as what yongey mingyur rinpoche said.

That seemed to b the answer.

Then I came across one of his teachings posted on face book

In it he said:”mind n body together , mind in body, feel the body, that is existence.”

It’s amazing how the answers come to me.

Om.

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Roll it off your back

Most of the time, the attacks and criticisms of others have much more to do with them and how they are feeling than with us.

If we get caught up in trying to adjust ourselves to other people’s negative energy, we lose touch with our core.

In fact, in a positive light, these slings and arrows offer us the opportunity to strengthen our core sense of self, and to learn to dodge and deflect other people’s misdirected negativity.

The more we do this, the more we are able to discern what belongs to us and what belongs to other people. With practice, we become masters of our energetic integrity, refusing to serve as targets for the disowned anger and frustration of the people around us.

Eventually, we will be able to hear the feedback that others have to offer, taking in anything that might actually be constructive, and releasing that which has nothing to do with us.

First, though, we tend ourselves compassionately by recognizing when we can’t take something in from the outside without hurting ourselves. This is when we make like a duck, shaking it off and letting it roll off our back as we continue our way in the world.

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‘negative path’ to happiness

[Research] points to an alternative approach [to happiness]: a ‘negative path’ to happiness that entails taking a radically different stance towards those things most of us spend our lives trying hard to avoid. This involves learning to enjoy uncertainty, embracing insecurity and becoming familiar with failure. In order to be truly happy, it turns out, we might actually need to be willing to experience more negative emotions – or, at the very least, to stop running quite so hard from them.—Oliver Burkeman

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Look , see , be

By tsoknyi rinpoche

The message is

As it is.

Everything we do, no matter how seemingly simple or straightforward, entails some sort of conceptual underpinning — some grounding in a belief or system of beliefs. Even doing something as simple as washing our face implies certain notions about what a face is. It also involves, on a subtle or obvious level, certain beliefs about ourselves: ideas, opinions, and judgments about our own face, for example, or about other people’s faces. If we believe we’re not attractive, for instance, or not as attractive as some other people, we may have a hard time just putting forth the effort to washing our face.
More broadly, most of us believe in a solid, enduing, independent “self” — an “I” that requires a good deal of maintenance. We expend a lot of physical, emotional, and mental energy in the service of this belief. We often panic when this belief in “I” begins to wobble or waver, when we feel weak or threatened, or not quite so solid. And when our “I” is hurt, ignored, or angered by an “other,” we tend to conceptualize that person as an “enemy” or a “bad person,” which spontaneously gives rise to a whole set of feelings, ideas, and behaviors appropriate to dealing with “enemies.”
It takes a lot of effort to maintain not only a belief in a “self” and “others,” but also, fundamentally, the whole network of concepts out of which “self” and “other” arise — a level of experience, referred to as “relative reality,” which is characterized by relativistic, dualistic perception: subject and object, friend and enemy, self and other, good and bad.
One of the core principles of Tibetan Buddhism is that all phenomena, all experience, is essentially free of enduring, sharply delineated characteristics. We aren’t defined by our past, our present, or our thoughts and feelings about the future. We have the potential to experience anything. And anything has the potential to arise within our experience.
The process of cultivating and stabilizing this insight on a level that goes beyond entertaining an interesting idea is the focus of the sixth and final paramita, known in Sanskrit as prajña and in Tibetan as sherab. Both words can be translated as in a variety of ways: wisdom, insight, knowledge, understanding. A more complete definition might be the intelligence that fully recognizes the nature of all phenomena as it is. In some texts, this intelligence is referred to as “transcendent wisdom” because it is the ability to see through, or transcend, the essentially interdependent, temporary, and illusory nature of relative reality to the fundamentally open, clear, and limitless nature of absolute reality. It’s the keen perception that enables us to see the brilliant, spacious mind behind the “clouds” of fantasies, stories, and projections, and open to the unconditional, unconditioned essence love that shines undimmed by whatever habitual patterns of identification we’ve accumulated along the journey of our lives.
Practicing this paramita means using the basic discriminating ability with which we were born — the tendency to wonder, to question, to pull together information and analyze it — to investigate the characteristics of individual things and of things in general, to examine how phenomena and our experience function. And that is a very different process from surrendering to prejudices or preconceived ideas, from simply assuming or blindly believing that things exist in a set manner. It means to actually look in order to see.
The process involves connecting with our analytical ability and developing it deliberately. Traditionally, the cultivation of wisdom along the Buddhist path involves three stages: listening, reflecting, and meditating. Listening (sometimes referred as hearing) entails quite simply becoming familiar with the teachings.
The Buddha, I’d like to point out, was an “equal-opportunity teacher.” When he taught, he encouraged people to make up their minds about whether the teachings made sense to them. “Believe nothing,” he said, “no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.” He advised the people who came to hear him to approach his teachings with the same attitude they would adopt if they were going to purchase gold. “You have to put it to the test,” he explained, “to see if it is really pure or not.” In other words, the Buddha empowered people to be intelligent, to use their wits, to think for themselves. And this is a special quality; he never said close your mind, stop thinking, just believe. He emphasized that we have the ability to understand, and encouraged us to use it and carry it to the fullest. Evaluating the teachings, then, determining whether they make sense to us or have any value in our lives, is the second step in the process — reflection or contemplation.
If we determine that there may something to the insights he offered into the free and open nature of reality and the bright, creative, intelligent and loving spark within all living beings, then we’re ready to move on to the third phase: using the practices of meditation such as mindfulness and calm-abiding to kindly and gently identify our biases, our prejudices, and so on in order to arrive at a more precise understanding of our habitual patterns of interpreting experience.
In other words, we begin by looking, and then we see.
We may not all see the same things, of course, or not in the same way. True wisdom is wide. It is both universal and uniquely personal. It transcends the intellect to touch the heart.
So the challenge, as we conclude our exploration of the paramitas, is to discover the personal meaning in the universal teachings of the Buddha. How has your vision widened or deepened? How has your mind opened? How has your heart become warmer and wider?
Now, can you just let it all go — the teachings, the questions, the challenges? Can you simply, fearlessly, freely be?

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带你吃好料

你好

大概10周大的你,吃了太多名家好料。

世纪名厨、米其林星星最多的Joel Robuchon的菜

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你看!

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名厨还和mummy拍照

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之前的是L’Atelier作品
下面的是Joel Robuchon Fine Dining的新菜

这里光是面包就有25-30种!

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之后的一天,带daddy去尝HAN的炸串

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3 years 4 months

19/6/2012

happi 3 yrs 4 mths qinzhi dearie 🙂

沁芝从澳洲回来,病了一阵,mummy也病了两回,结果在姨姨婆婆家住了快2星期,说不要回redhill了。学校假期,但mummy都没有好好和沁芝一起过!很懊恼。

这天带沁芝去看医生,沁芝才到诊所楼下,已经有些害怕,说不要来这里,然后一直在外头哭。

沁芝好可爱,在看医生之后,大概知道mummy和医生已经聊完,马上说bye,意思是要离开了。

下一次带沁芝去打针,沁芝到了楼下已经打胸口说怕,然后要mummy抱。结果一踏进医生的房间,沁芝就说byebye,但打完针之后,居然说:“要lollipop”

逗得我们!

这下打完针,医生说,下一回6岁才打了。到时候,医生还在吗?

这一天,mummy带沁芝回来,沁芝在家楼下已想着婆婆姨姨,哭了。

另一回,我们再尝试带沁芝回家,先去小逛,然后回家,it seemed to work!

隔天,我们带沁芝去植物园,

让沁芝喂喂鱼

看看鹅

踢踢球

下午带沁芝去吃soba,她不知怎么的,突然想穿这件我们在瑞士买回来的裙子,

样子极为甜美。

带沁芝回家后,婆婆姨姨问她为什么要来pasir ris?她说:“因为我怕婆婆姨姨想我嘛!”

在pasir ris,ah xiong舅舅买了这个小玩具给沁芝

有dandelyn姐姐特地给她煮spaghetti、舅妈买鸭饭,沁芝是一个不折不扣的宝贝。肚子饿了想吃面包,ah xiong舅舅载沁芝去white sands买

这一天,我们吃火锅,mummy让沁芝尝试用漏勺勺起锅里的熟食

在姨姨婆婆家,沁芝也像是在家里一样,会晾晾衣服

和阿嬷婆婆拔菜

最近她跟着看福建连续剧,连剧集里的人物都认得、知道名称,而且会唱片头曲,懂得剧集名称

比如某一部叫kan qiu/《牵手》,沁芝就用福建话念

daddy问什么是kan qiu?

她说:牵手!

她甚至知道里头的坏蛋是谁

最近沁芝更能明白话里的意思,喜怒哀乐她都能做出可爱表情

可爱到极点!

这一天是见家长日,mummy和daddy去见沁芝的老师。

先看看沁芝的progress card!it makes me a proud parent to read /receive this :)

老师ms thia说,沁芝在学校是个乐于助人的孩子,看到其他小朋友流鼻涕,会去拿纸巾给小朋友擦鼻涕。 还说,沁芝is a happy child,会和小朋友沟通聊天,也会和老师聊,比如她念错沁芝名,沁芝会纠正她 老师还说,沁芝喜欢参与各种活动,学习能力强,不大喜欢乖乖坐着听课,而且特别喜欢表演,会自愿出来上台唱歌跳舞,mummy听了,好骄傲!

沁芝很enjoy的这件事,我们一定也要保护!让沁芝单纯的这么喜欢下去。

我能还看到沁芝上课的小片段,看的沁芝穿雨衣、撑伞体验雨 手上握着小乌龟 在大热天戴墨镜 还收到许多沁芝的手工。

有大象和风铃

有兔子乌龟

有蓝天白云、雨天

有玩水彩

这一天,沁芝穿上mummy买的yellow dress去参加学校的party。我能买了软糖和饼干,让沁芝带去和小朋友分享。

沁芝还记得这位miss thia 吗?

这一天,我们带沁芝去飞机场,让沁芝重温搭飞机的乐趣,mummy很喜欢搭飞机,12岁那年公公第一次带我们全家到美国,那是我们一家人唯一一次搭飞机远赴国外旅行。

这个月,我们经常带沁芝去机场,再次告诉沁芝登机步骤,包括登记、送运行李、check in,然后带沁芝去看离境大厅里面的景象、去看qantas、singapore airlines等

同时让沁芝也尝试打电话、喝水、搭扶梯

还有就是看飞机!

沁芝看到跑道上有罗厘车,会高声说:“快点走开,危险!”让我们都傻眼!

碰巧机场有3D插图,于是让沁芝跑跑玩玩,沁芝看到有小孩躺下,也跟着躺下

去玩跷跷板/see saw

去辨认国花————胡姬花

去认识daddy工作的地方

沁芝还有机会玩玩indoor playground,不亦乐乎

还有搭skytrain

沁芝去了飞机场几次,在T3已经懂得去乘搭skytrain的路,让她带路,她胜任有余

daddy也在晚班后直接带沁芝去pasir ris park玩耍。

这个时候的沁芝,已经能在游乐场玩更多东西

这个时候的沁芝,收到阿妹姨姨在韩国买来的hairband,非常甜美

还有fong 姐姐在欧洲买的minnie mouse包包,但说起fong姐姐,不知道沁芝还记得她吗?庚延舅舅和她最近分手了,两人交往8年,现在分手了。

每次mummy听沁芝说起fong姐姐,mummy内心都会纠一下。

昨天带沁芝和公公、舅舅去吃鱼头炉,沁芝问:fong姐姐有没有去?

最近沁芝喜欢帮忙倒水,让沁芝学着coordinate眼手动作

还会帮ah seng舅舅倒啤酒,然后叫他喝,结果舅舅给她$20买薯条!

她说,daddy喝酒了会kong kong dian(东歪西倒),然后便作出样子,逗得大家笑呵呵

这个月也是hi five 月,看到这个组合来新表演后,立刻告诉daddy,结果沁芝连续4天,逗千里迢迢从pasir ris到thomson rd的united sq捧场

还和casey手碰手hi five

回来后跳给大家看,甚至对阿嬷说:“你坐在这里,我跳舞给你看”

有时沁芝还会叫阿嬷喂她

但沁芝和姨姨婆婆感情最棒,现在会帮姨姨拿cream擦脚,帮婆婆按摩腿部

晚上虽然喜欢在床上唱唱歌跳跳舞,但会问姨姨,要睡觉了没有?要睡觉了,沁芝会把声音转小。

听姨姨说,沁芝还会教selly如何收好碗

这个时候的沁芝,已经懂得背daddy的电话号码。又好会用话,比如daddy经常叫沁芝说:“我很喜欢爸爸,再说一次”。

她也会反过来叫daddy再说一次。

好爱你哦,宝贝!

你要健健康康,平平安安,快快乐乐的。每天如此,带给自己和周围的人最简单直接而单纯的快乐。

may u b well n happy!