“Before we pop the champagne and celebrate the new year, stop and reflect on the year that has gone by. To remember both our triumphs and missteps, our promises made and broken. The times we opened ourselves up to great adventures or closed ourselves down for fear of getting hurt. Because that’s what new year is all about — getting another chance. A chance to forgive, to do better, to do more, to give more, to love more. And stop worrying about what if and start embracing what would be. So at midnight, let’s remember to be nice to each other, kind to each other. And not just tonight but all year long.”
Monthly Archives: December 2011
我问沁芝
12月31日2011年
我问刚刚睡着的沁芝
要如何？
mummy申请的no pay leave不被通过
我问在美梦中的沁芝，mummy应该怎么样？
我听到的答案是：我要和沁芝在一起。
我听到沁芝说：要mummy跟沁芝玩，沁芝要和mummy在一起
我听到我对沁芝的承诺
我感受到我答应沁芝，心里可能感受的喜悦
我心里仍有许多的不确定和害怕
然后我想起昨天大扫除的时候看到自己所写的那段文字：纵然害怕，也要以最乐观的心，相信生活的浪潮会把自己带到最适合自己的地方。
我了解到一件事，别人不可能永远谅解你，答允你，但最起码，你必须给予自己、答允自己，
这将是我能为自己争取的，为沁芝为自己的健康，为自己的家做的。
我相信，朝着这个方向，我会轻松许多，快乐许多。
这一天，我做了一个最重要的决定，要改变。
其实，内心也有一股轻松和release。
很神奇。
我想，这和放下一些东西有关。这真的是一种放下的练习。记者的工作容许我有很多很exclusive的机会，让我接触到非常exclusive的一群人、地方，汲取到许多生活的养分，品尝到很多特别的美食⋯⋯这些曾是我放不下的，紧紧抓牢的，
但我用这双手抓牢的时候，手和心也被套牢了，没有能力去抓住其他生命中更重要的东西
我最近开始觉得抓牢的东西不那么重要了，感觉放开他们，不会有遗憾喝不舍，感觉放开了也没有什么不一样，反而有一种畅快，舒畅
我开始意识，每个人不管到了哪一种高度、阶段，都可以拍拍衣袖，拂袖而去。那可以是不费吹灰之力的。
然后再在另一个地方，开始。然后，再拍拍衣袖。
对我来说，这是一个放下的练习。
放下了，才能有机会有新的提取。
陈彬雁is awesome！
大扫除
亲爱的沁芝
mummy和daddy最近大扫除了。
花了很多钱，买了很多新的东西，流了很多汗，好好整理了我们的窝
很累的
但感觉很棒！
为自己的家做点事情，比如重新摆设电视旁边的器材，加一盆植物，让整体焕然一新。flow更好。
其实需要更动的很少很小，但效果可以很大。
于是，我知道了，make small changes in life的说法。
一天一小改变，出来的效果可以很不同。
大扫除，需要理智。甚至硬下心。
因为橱柜里的收藏，在某年某月某日某时刻，曾经那么深深地打动自己。
收藏在橱柜里的，因此是一部分一小块的自己了。
自己18岁的天真
20岁的痴傻
22岁的忧愁
昨天一一翻开
惊讶：我收藏的，泛黄了、发霉了
我的回忆发霉了！
然后我看着自己写的心情
突然被自己感动了
然后我被自己写的文章感动了
写得真好！
然后我翻到自己中学的作业
找到了十几岁的少女情怀
纯真
情感
勤劳
同学
我有好多丰富的获得
我的华语就是这么一字一字学回来的。
然后我看到中学同学和好友晓薇、shirley送的卡片
一一打开
我看到了daddy求婚时（紫色）、结婚时（粉红色）、生日时（鲑红色）送的花。
这些都是包装纸。收了这么久，好像准备好、可以释放他们了。
我不需要再抓住他们温暖自己。
我可以了。
那是一种发自内心的富足。
不需要（依赖）外物。
我对着每一件说谢谢。谢谢来到我身边的美丽、事、人
谢谢过去
谢谢自己
然后便处理掉
没有后悔
没有舍不得
我想，这也是我告别2011年的心情。
我可以就此释放所有
因为我用心经历过每一件
真的付出了自己
所以释放它、告别它
也无风雨也无晴。
没有一片云彩的天空
无边
可以容许新的可能。
30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself
DECEMBER 11TH, 2011 @ 4:30 PM BY: MARC
When you stop chasing the wrong things you give
the right things a chance to catch you.
As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” Nothing could be closer to the truth. But before you can begin this process of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back.
Here are some ideas to get you started:
Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.
Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on. No, it won’t be easy. There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. That’s not how we’re made. In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself. Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves. Read The Road Less Traveled.
Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.
Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us. We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive. But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.
Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else. Read Stumbling on Happiness.
Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place. Evaluate situations and take decisive action. You cannot change what you refuse to confront. Making progress involves risk. Period! You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.
Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely. It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. There’s no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you. But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others doing better than you. Concentrate on beating your own records every day. Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own. Ask yourself this: “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”
Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you. You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough. But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past. You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation. So smile! Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate. Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.” Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself! And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too. If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.
Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.
Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway. Just do what you know in your heart is right.
Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.
Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things. The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done. Read Getting Things Done.
Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. Don’t take the easy way out. Do something extraordinary.
Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while. You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well. You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out. But making one person smile CAN change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. So narrow your focus.
Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy. One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time? Three years? Five years?” If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen. Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.
Wisdom
Ajahn brahm
When the weather is hot, keep a cool mind. When the weather is cold, keep a warm heart.
You are what you think. Think it today, become it tomorrow. Nothing can help or hurt you as much as the thoughts you carry in your head.
The Message of Pain
December 27, 2011
Valuable Information
Both emotional and physical pain are messages that we need to stop and pay attention.
When we feel pain, our first impulse is often to eradicate it with medication. This is an understandable response, but sometimes in our hurry to get rid of pain, we forget that it is the body’s way of letting us know that it needs our attention. A headache can inform us that we’re hungry or stressed just as a sore throat might be telling us that we need to rest our voice. If we override these messages instead of respond to them, we risk worsening our condition. In addition, we create a feeling of disconnectedness between our minds and our bodies.
Physical pain is not the only kind of pain that lets us know our attention is needed. Emotional pain provides us with valuable information about the state of our psyche, letting us know that we have been affected by something and that we would do well to focus our awareness inward. Just as we tend to a cut on our arm by cleaning and bandaging it, we treat a broken heart by surrounding ourselves with love and support. In both cases, if we listen to our pain we will know what to do to heal ourselves. It’s natural to want to resist pain, but once we understand that it is here to give us valuable information, we can relax a bit more, and take a moment to listen before we reach for medication. Sometimes this is enough to noticeably reduce the pain, because its message has been heard. Perhaps we seek to medicate pain because we fear that if we don’t, it will never go away. It can be empowering to realize that, at least some of the time, it is just a matter of listening and responding.
The next time you feel pain, either physical or emotional, you might want to try listening to your own intuition about how to relieve your pain. Maybe taking a few deep breaths will put an end to that headache. Perhaps writing in your journal about hurt feelings will ease your heart. Ultimately, the message of pain is all about healing.
听
我开始学会听自己了
oh yeah！
30多年了，学会这个
真了不起！
in Sitting
昨天静坐时，看到的：
近几年越来越narrow minded。看法、观点、生活越来越狭窄。
是工作造成的吗？工作的环境？工作的人？工作的对象？
有关联。
工作带给我许多，但在这个环境里的这十年，我也变得越来越狭窄。
也是自己的问题。自己没有意识到，没有察觉和awareness，所以跟着时事带到越来越狭窄的自己。
所以身体出现各种难受的状况，都是在告诉我，目前的这个方式和自己的身心抵触。
所以是时候为自己的生活再做其他的开拓了。
stepping out is the first step to open mindedness。
也无风雨也无晴
定风波
三月七日沙湖道中遇雨。
雨具先去，同行皆狼狈，余独不觉。
已而遂晴，故作此词。
莫听穿林打叶声，何妨吟啸且徐行。
竹杖芒鞋轻胜马，谁怕？
一蓑烟雨任平生。
料峭春风吹酒醒，微冷，山头斜照却相迎。
回首向来萧瑟处，归去，也无风雨也无晴。
Dear Santa
Dear Santa
I was Santa to myself yesterday, and I discovered that granting myself, being honest to my real needs, listening to my heart’s desire and going for what I want, is so so liberating.
Being honest with myself, is the best way to live.
Everytime I had a need, everytime I heard myself, I would after a while, forget about it, thinking I could bear with it. Thinking I could go on.
Thinking I could ignore.
But this time, i tried another way n i made another choice. I choose to hear my inner self out. And in my choice, i experienced letting go.
It feels so much better!
Happier!
This way.
I instantly felt free after I voiced out what I want. Only then did I realise how important n how much I wanted it.
And today I just wrote a formal application.
“I hereby submit a formal request to you for an application of no pay leave, for a period of 3 months.
Kindly submit this to HR on my behalf.
This is my first application for long leave since I joined SPH in July 2002.
For personal reasons and for travel, I would be away.
It would be very much appreciated if this request could be validated as of 1st March 2012.
I have 20days of AL and 5days childcare leave currently. In June 2012 when leave ends, I foresee that I would also try to consume a portion of my entitlements.
I understand some plans have been put in place for upcoming revamps in the gourmet section. If necessary, I will try my best to contribute stories before I get out of town, I hope this would minimize whatever inconvenience caused.
Thank you and I await your advice on this matter. I also apologize for any inconvenience caused in my period of absence. ”
I think I wrote beautifully.
I think I m a piece of quality material in a wrong place.
And there is no point staying on and waiting for myself to be discovered.
I feel happy with myself that I took this step.
I think this is an exercise in letting go.
I think it is not easy to let go of what I have garnered for myself after ten years of work.
I felt I reached a height.
I contemplated about letting go. I tried to stay with it. I struggled with balancing and I finally found myself here.
Happy here.
I feel happy letting go. It was too important a lesson, to learn.
And finding myself liberated from the heart, I ask of Santa to listen to my wishes here:
Dear Santa
This is the first time I m writing to you.
So please, hear me out.
I wish for a healthy happy baby boy, to come forth into my family, to enlighten me further, to grow with me, to protect qinzhi n be with her to guide her
I wish for good health and happiness, for great strength and wisdom, and for peace for all
I wish for light to fill all of our souls
Above all, I wish for love.
Thank u dear Santa
I bought a Christmas stocking for qinzhi today.
Please let my presents be with me, this time next year.
Thank you and I wish you love.
Merry Christmas.”
And may all sentient beings share this gratitude I have in my heart n b liberated from this feeling of contentment n happiness.
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