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Meditation--Attentive Stillness-Ajahm Brahm

Meditation is the way of letting go.In meditation you let go of the complex world outside in order to reach a powerful peace within. In all types of mysticism and in many spiritual traditions,Meditation is the way of letting go.In meditation you let go of the complex world outside in order to reach a powerful peace within. In all types of mysticism and in many spiritual traditions, meditation is the path to a pure and empowered mind. The experience of this pure mind, released from the world, is incredibly blissful. It is a bliss better than sex.meditation is the path to a pure and empowered mind. The experience of this pure mind, released from the world, is incredibly blissful. It is a bliss better than sex.

 

The goal of this meditation is beautiful silence, stillness, and clarity of mind. If you can understand that goal, then the place to apply your effort and the means to achieve the goal become much clearer. The effort is directed to letting go, to developing a mind that inclines to abandoning.

The Buddha was saying that the major cause for attaining deep meditation and reaching these powerful states is the ability to abandon, to let go, to renounce.

 

Even during the beginning stages of your meditation, see if you can generate the energy of renunciation—the willingness to give things away. As you give things away in your mind, you will feel much lighter and more free. In meditation, abandoning occurs in stages, step by step.

 

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Connect

Dear qinzhi

Do u feel connected to yourself?
Your true self.
Your true heart n soul.
Do u feel at peace with yourself?
Your past. Your dreams. Your life. Your work. Your friends . Your partner.

You should ask yourself this question once in a while.
Like me asking now: do I feel connected to myself?

Yes.

How about daddy ? Does he feel connected to himself?
Does he feel connected to me?

I think not so. He seems to b an island by himself with his strength of thoughts, values n belief system.
He holds on to those very rigidly n in turn influences us.

I know the importance of connecting to oneself.
It is the basis of one’s stability n ensures his or her objectivity. If u do not connect with your true self, how do u connect with pple around him/her.

I tasted the importance of connecting/disconnecting from oneself.

When disconnected, you r basically lost in your own world. You fail to appreciate n respect your past n feels regretful about them. Sorry for oneself.

And you try to make good to compensate, sometimes over compensate for something not done well in the past.

You want with all your might n force.

And in the process, it creates excessive /unnecessary influences sometimes, burden n pressure on others.

That was me in the past.

I was totally lost in the past. Lost myself. Lost connecting with myself.

N I lost touch with my family.

But I found my connection now.

It feels great to be connected to myself.I hope daddy too.

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妹妹去韩国

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妹妹带着梦想去追梦了。
原来,只要心真的要一件事
真的能心想事成。

离开报馆了,但还有很多写稿邀约。
许多同事包红包给她
她和之前工作contacts可以发展新的合作关系。
冥冥中,有着一股力量帮助她追梦。
And I text her so,

And so I learn fr u, tat if u have smtg u really like to pursue n u do the pursuit wif sincerity, there will b a guiding n support force that comes v naturally to provide aid. Fly high dear! N keep well 🙂

梦想,多么重要。多么美好。
她一人去,带着很多人的梦想。
很幸福。
加油了!

And so, what is my dream?
To write well. To have pple reading or following what I write bcoz my writing provides solace n comfort.
To have pple who appreciate what I write n what I do

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Stronger than you know

DailyOM – Getting Ourselves Worked Up

Our capacity to cope successfully with life’s challenges far outstrips our capacity to feel nervousness. Yet in the weeks, days, and hours leading up to an event that we believe will test our limits, we can become nervous. While we may have previously regarded ourselves as equal to the trials that lie ahead, we reach a point at which they near and our anxiety begins to mount. We then become increasingly worked up, until the moment of truth arrives and we discover that our worry was all for nothing. We are almost always stronger and more capable than we believe ourselves to be. But anxiety is not rational in nature, which means that in most cases we cannot work through it using logic as our only tool. Reason can help us recognize the relative futility of unwarranted worry but, more often than not, we will find more comfort in patterns of thought and activity that redirect our attention to practical or engaging matters.

Most of us find it remarkably difficult to focus on two distinct thoughts or emotions at once, and we can use this natural human limitation to our advantage when trying to stay centered in the period leading up to a potentially tricky experience. When we concentrate on something unrelated to our worry—such as deep breathing, visualizations of success, pleasurable pursuits, or exercise—anxiety dissipates naturally. Meditation is also a useful coping mechanism as it provides us with a means to ground ourselves in the moment. Our guides can aid us by providing us with a focal point wholly outside of our own sphere.

The intense emotional flare-up you experience just before you are set to challenge yourself is often a mixture of both excitement and fear. When you take steps to eliminate the fear, you can more fully enjoy the excitement. Though you may find it difficult to avoid getting worked up, your awareness of the forces acting on your feelings will help you return to your center and accept that few hurdles you will face will be as high as they at first appear.

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How mindful are you at listening?

Thoroughly how I feel!

Deep Listening is at the foundation of Right Speech. If we cannot listen mindfully, we cannot practice Right Speech.

No matter what we say, it will not be mindful, because we’ll be speaking only our own ideas and not in response to the other person. In the Lotus Sutra, we are advised to look and listen with the eyes of compassion. Compassionate listening brings about about healing. When someone listens to us this way, we feel some relief right away. A good therapist always practices deep, compassionate listening. We have to do the same in order to heal the people we love and restore communication with them.

When communication is cut off, we all suffer.

The Bodhisattva Kwan Yin is the one who hears the cries of the world. She has the quality of listening deeply, without judging or reacting. When we listen with our whole being, we can defuse a lot of bombs. If the other person feels that we are critical of what they are saying, their suffering will not be relieved.

Deep listening nourishes both speaker and listener.

—From The Heart of the Buddha’s Teachings by Thich Nhat Hanh

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The Places We Go

Love this!

February 21, 2012

Often it takes something major to wake us up as we struggle to maintain an illusion of control. In life, most of us want things to go to the places we have envisioned ourselves going. We have plans and visions, some of them divinely inspired, that we want to see through to completion. We want to be happy, successful, and healthy, all of which are perfectly natural and perfectly human.

So when life takes us to places we didn’t consciously want to go, we often feel as if something has gone wrong, or we must have made a mistake somewhere along the line, or any number of other disheartening possibilities.

This is just life’s way of taking us to a place we need to go for reasons that go deeper than our own ability to reason.

These hard knocks and trials are designed to shed light on our unconscious workings and deepen our experience of reality. Often it takes something major to wake us up, to shake us loose from our ego’s grip as it struggles to maintain an illusion of control.

It is loss of control more than anything else that humbles us and enables us to see the big picture. It reminds us that the key to the universe lies in what we do not know, and what we do know is a small fraction of the great mystery in which we live. This awareness softens and lightens us, as we release our resistance to what is.

Another gift gleaned from going to these seemingly undesirable places is that, in our response to difficulty, we can see all the patterns and unresolved emotional baggage that stand in the way of our unconditional joyfulness.

Joy exists within us independently of whether things go our way or not. And when we don’t feel it, we can trust that we will find it if we are willing to surrender to the situation, moving through it as we move through our difficult feelings.

We can take our inspiration from any fairy tale that finds its central character lost in a dark wood, frightened and alone. We know that the journey through the wood provides its own kind of beauty and richness.

On the other side, we will emerge transformed, lighter and brighter, braver and more confident for having moved through that darkness.

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Losar

根据藏日历
今天是12月30日。
新年即将来临。

很巧。
昨天回marine crescent
拜拜的时候佛珠突然断线

就那么突然。

那感觉有些奇妙
让我想去make sense

It appears to me/the feeling is like a dispersal
A dispersal of a point of tension which has become a weakest link in the rosary

I almost felt like that in my body as well
Like a tension/kink released
It sort of felt good

It was a rosary that was given to me in 2006(?) when I first had my panic attack
I liked it alot of its jade green colour n the coolness it exudes

It has accompanied me n carried me far, it helped me tide over when I was most confused

Yin gave it to me

N it was given to her

It must have given a lot of help to quite many pple

I have always thought of giving it away to someone who needs it more than I do

For the rosary to provide solace n peace to another who needs it more

And I think the time will come soon

Happy losar

May I seek forgiveness for all the wrong I have done, in
Body action mind or speech
Now or in the past
Here or elsewhere

I sincerely seek forgiveness for all the wrong n pain I have done n inflicted
I seek forgiveness from all whom I have done wrong to

With sincere gratitude
I thank my presence n share this gratitude by striving
to be the better n best of myself

may the new year bring peace love good health to all sentient beings

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Zen master Thich talks about caring for earth

“We want to be connected. That is the meaning of love, to be at one. When you love someone you want to say I need you, I take refuge in you. You do anything for the benefit of the Earth and the Earth will do anything for your wellbeing.”

Thich seems to b talking about mother earth
But in fact, he is talking abt ourselves n our pain

V worth a read, re read

Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh has been practising meditation and mindfulness for 70 years and radiates an extraordinary sense of calm and peace. This is a man who on a fundamental level walks his talk, and whom Buddhists revere as a Bodhisattva; seeking the highest level of being in order to help others.

Ever since being caught up in the horrors of the Vietnam war, the 86-year-old monk has committed his life to reconciling conflict and in 1967 Martin Luther King nominated him for the Nobel Peace Prize, saying “his ideas for peace, if applied, would build a monument to ecumenism, to world brotherhood, to humanity.”

So it seems only natural that in recent years he has turned his attention towards not only addressing peoples’ disharmonious relationships with each other, but also with the planet on which all our lives depend.

Thay, as he is known to his many thousands of followers, sees the lack of meaning and connection in peoples’ lives as being the cause of our addiction to consumerism and that it is vital we recognise and respond to the stress we are putting on Earth if civilisation is to survive.

What Buddhism offers, he says, is the recognition that we all suffer and the way to overcome that pain is to directly confront it, rather than seeking to hide or bypass it through our obsession with shopping, entertainment, work or the beautification of our bodies. The craving for fame, wealth, power and sex serves to create only the illusion of happiness and ends up exacerbating feelings of disconnection and emptiness.

Thay refers to a billionaire chief executive of one of America’s largest companies, who came to one of his meditation courses and talked of his suffering, worries and doubts, of thinking everyone was coming to take advantage of him and that he had no friends.

In an interview at his home and retreat centre in Plum Village, near Bordeaux, Thay outlines how a spiritual revolution is needed if we are going to confront the multitude of environmental challenges.

While many experts point to the enormous complexity and difficulty in addressing issues ranging from the destruction of ecosystems to the loss of millions of species, Thay sees a Gordian Knot that needs slicing through with a single strike of a sharp blade.

Move beyond concept of the “environment”
He believes we need to move beyond talking about the environment, as this leads people to experience themselves and Earth as two separate entities and to see the planet in terms only of what it can do for them.

Change is possible only if there is a recognition that people and planet are ultimately one and the same.

“You carry Mother Earth within you,” says Thay. “She is not outside of you. Mother Earth is not just your environment.

“In that insight of inter-being, it is possible to have real communication with the Earth, which is the highest form of prayer. In that kind of relationship you have enough love, strength and awakening in order to change your life.

“Changing is not just changing the things outside of us. First of all we need the right view that transcends all notions including of being and non-being, creator and creature, mind and spirit. That kind of insight is crucial for transformation and healing.

“Fear, separation, hate and anger come from the wrong view that you and the earth are two separate entities, the Earth is only the environment. You are in the centre and you want to do something for the Earth in order for you to survive. That is a dualistic way of seeing.

“So to breathe in and be aware of your body and look deeply into it and realise you are the Earth and your consciousness is also the consciousness of the earth. Not to cut the tree not to pollute the water, that is not enough.”

Putting an economic value on nature is not enough
Thay, who will this spring be in the UK to lead a five-day retreat as well as a mindfulness in education conference, says the current vogue in economic and business circles that the best way to protect the planet is by putting an economic value on nature is akin to putting a plaster on a gaping wound.

“I don’t think it will work,” he says. “We need a real awakening, enlightenment, to change our way of thinking and seeing things.”

Rather than placing a price tag of our forests and coral reefs, Thay says change will happen on a fundamental level only if we fall back in love with the planet: “The Earth cannot be described either by the notion of matter or mind, which are just ideas, two faces of the same reality. That pine tree is not just matter as it possesses a sense of knowing. A dust particle is not just matter since each of its atoms has intelligence and is a living reality.

“When we recognise the virtues, the talent, the beauty of Mother Earth, something is born in us, some kind of connection, love is born.

“We want to be connected. That is the meaning of love, to be at one. When you love someone you want to say I need you, I take refuge in you. You do anything for the benefit of the Earth and the Earth will do anything for your wellbeing.”

In the world of business, Thay gives the example of Yvon Chouinard, founder and owner of outdoor clothing company Patagonia, who combined developing a successful business with the practice of mindfulness and compassion: “It’s possible to make money in a way that is not destructive, that promotes more social justice and more understanding and lessens the suffering that exists all around us,” says Thay.

“Looking deeply, we see that it’s possible to work in the corporate world in a way that brings a lot of happiness both to other people and to us … our work has meaning.”

Thay, who has written more than 100 books, suggests that the lost connection with Earth’s natural rhythm is behind many modern sicknesses and that, in a similar way to our psychological pattern of blaming our mother and father for our unhappiness, there is an even more hidden unconscious dynamic of blaming Mother Earth.

In a new essay, Intimate Conversation with Mother Earth, he writes: “Some of us resent you for giving birth to them, causing them to endure suffering, because they are not yet able to understand and appreciate you.”

How mindfulness can reconnect people to Mother Earth
He points to increasing evidence that mindfulness can help people to reconnect by slowing down and appreciating all the gifts that the earth can offer.

“Many people suffer deeply and they do not know they suffer,” he says. “They try to cover up the suffering by being busy. Many people get sick today because they get alienated from Mother Earth.

“The practice of mindfulness helps us to touch Mother Earth inside of the body and this practice can help heal people. So the healing of the people should go together with the healing of the Earth and this is the insight and it is possible for anyone to practice.

“This kind of enlightenment is very crucial to a collective awakening. In Buddhism we talk of meditation as an act of awakening, to be awake to the fact that the earth is in danger and living species are in danger.”

Thay gives the example of something as simple and ordinary as drinking a cup of tea. This can help transform a person’s life if he or she were truly to devote their attention to it.

“When I am mindful, I enjoy more my tea,” says Thay as he pours himself a cup and slowly savours the first sip. “I am fully present in the here and now, not carried away by my sorrow, my fear, my projects, the past and the future. I am here available to life.

“When I drink tea this is a wonderful moment. You do not need a lot of power or fame or money to be happy. Mindfulness can help you to be happy in the here and now. Every moment can be a happy moment. Set an example and help people to do the same. Take a few minutes in order to experiment to see the truth.”

Need to deal with ones own anger to be an effective social activist
Thay has over many years developed the notion of applied Buddhism underpinned by a set of ethical practices known as the five mindfulness trainings, which are very clear on the importance of tackling social injustice.

However, if social and environmental activists are to be effective, Thay says they must first deal with their own anger. Only if people discover compassion for themselves will they be able to confront those they hold accountable for polluting our seas and cutting down our forests.

“In Buddhism we speak of collective action,” he says. “Sometimes something wrong is going on in the world and we think it is the other people who are doing it and we are not doing it.

“But you are part of the wrongdoing by the way you live your life. If you are able to understand that, not only you suffer but the other person suffers, that is also an insight.

“When you see the other person suffer you will not want to punish or blame but help that person to suffer less. If you are burdened with anger, fear, ignorance and you suffer too much, you cannot help another person. If you suffer less you are lighter more smiling, pleasant to be with, and in a position to help the person.

“Activists have to have a spiritual practice in order to help them to suffer less, to nourish the happiness and to handle the suffering so they will be effective in helping the world. With anger and frustration you cannot do much.”

Touching the “ultimate dimension”
Key to Thay’s teaching is the importance of understanding that while we need to live and operate in a dualistic world, it is also vital to understand that our peace and happiness lie in the recognition of the ultimate dimension: “If we are able to touch deeply the historical dimension – through a leaf, a flower, a pebble, a beam of light, a mountain, a river, a bird, or our own body – we touch at the same time the ultimate dimension. The ultimate dimension cannot be described as personal or impersonal, material or spiritual, object or subject of cognition – we say only that it is always shining, and shining on itself.

“Touching the ultimate dimension, we feel happy and comfortable, like the birds enjoying the blue sky, or the deer enjoying the green fields. We know that we do not have to look for the ultimate outside of ourselves – it is available within us, in this very moment.”

While Thay believes there is a way of creating a more harmonious relationship between humanity and the planet, he also recognises that there is a very real risk that we will continue on our destructive path and that civilisation may collapse.

He says all we need to do is see how nature has responded to other species that have got out of control: “When the need to survive is replaced with greed and pride, there is violence, which always brings about unnecessary devastation.

“We have learned the lesson that when we perpetrate violence towards our own and other species, we are violent towards ourselves; and when we know how to protect all beings, we are protecting ourselves.”

Remaining optimistic despite risk of impending catastrophe
In Greek mythology, when Pandora opened the gift of a box, all the evils were released into the world. The one remaining item was “hope”.

Thay is clear that maintaining optimism is essential if we are to find a way of avoiding devastating climate change and the enormous social upheavals that will result.

However, he is not naïve and recognises that powerful forces are steadily pushing us further towards the edge of the precipice.

In his best-selling book on the environment, The World we Have, he writes: “We have constructed a system we can’t control. It imposes itself on us, and we become its slaves and victims.

“We have created a society in which the rich become richer and the poor become poorer, and in which we are so caught up in our own immediate problems that we cannot afford to be aware of what is going on with the rest of the human family or our planet Earth.

“In my mind I see a group of chickens in a cage disputing over a few seeds of grain, unaware that in a few hours they will all be killed.”

An edited video of Jo Confino’s interview with Thich Nhat Hahn can be seen here.

For information on Thay’s visit to the UK this spring, which includes a meditation in Trafalgar Square, a talk at the Royal Festival Hall, a five-day retreat and a three-day mindfulness in education conference, go to the Cooling the Flames website.

This content is brought to you by Guardian Professional. Become a GSB member to get more stories like this direct to your inbox

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3 years=36months=Haaappi Birthdae Qinzhi

19/2/2012

Haaapppi birthdae qinzhi dearie

沁芝三岁了。

mummy完全忘记了生沁芝的痛、打针的痛、喂奶涨奶的痛、挤奶的辛苦

只记得一切开心的。

沁芝生日快乐。:)

祝你健康平安,时时刻刻都开开心心,保持纯真善良的心。

今天沁芝去happy train上课后,带沁芝到居士林拜拜。

那是带着谢谢的心,感激一切让沁芝这么美好的因缘,也同时祈求其他的小朋友都健康快乐。

然后带沁芝去吃蛋糕、冰淇淋,给沁芝唱生日歌。

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之后去游泳
沁芝很享受游泳,要回家的时候很舍不得
要继续,继续

晚上还有请姨姨婆婆公公一起去吃饭,谢谢大家的帮忙和疼爱。

这一夜,菜单有这些好料

沙律有机田园蔬软壳蟹

花胶炖鲨鱼骨汤

金沙苹果釀带子

脆皮甘榜鸡

竹笙塘莲炒上素
海鲜焖面线
杨枝甘露冰淇淋
结果沁芝又收到好多礼物。

fong姐姐和庚延舅舅买了hello kitty铺满和hair clip

公公、舅妈给了红包。ah ben gorgor和ling姐姐的hello kitty cake

ah ben舅舅还买了minnie mouse枕头

ah seng舅舅、ah kiat舅舅没有来吃却给了红包。

we all feel so thankful for the love showered upon little qinzhi

迈向36个月大的时候,沁芝迎接龙年。

去年沁芝初次体验捞鱼生,懂得拿起筷子尝试捞,今年除夕夜沁芝参与其盛,大家都非常欢迎餐桌上这个新捞生伙伴。对于鱼生,沁芝当然也跃跃一试

之后帮姨姨换床单

之后在新床上很free spirit地玩闹一番

大年初一,穿上mummy在巴黎买的新衣,去公公家及阿zor、姨姨婆婆家、

往年只是这样,今年mummy还带沁芝去给大小姑婆拜年/拿红包,希望给沁芝加强拜年的概念,知道自己由大小姑婆这一回事。

大姑婆特地炒米粉煮莲藕汤,全是阿zor的味道,mummy吃到那味道,感动极了。

再来是去舅公的家。

去年沁芝到访,舅母婆用玩具球哄沁芝,今年她故伎重施,沁芝来者不拒,一样玩得非常开心

吃火锅、贴春联也是沁芝参与的过年活动

戴手镯,沁芝不亦乐乎

沁芝说,手镯,mummy的耳环、项链、衣服、鞋子她都要:“等沁芝长大罗”

过后还吵着ah tin阿姨,要戴上金饰,结果姨姨真的拿出18k金的项链和手链给沁芝

最开心的就是ah xiong舅舅生日那天请来的亲戚带来了他们的小朋友,沁芝认识了小男友jiayu

以为很少和小朋友玩耍的沁芝会害羞

怎么知道她居然大剌剌牵着jiayu,走来走去

totally in control

沁芝看sesame street学crunchy,某天早上喂她吃museli,她说,this is crunchy

what a surprise!

今年也带沁芝去给mummy的同事小康拜年,去到小康家,起初很害羞的沁芝开始活泼起来

玩水缸的水、浇花

和小康跳跑玩球

爬楼梯

她在那里喝了很好的有机果汁,吃营养午餐,还有bens & jerrys ice cream

带沁芝外出多了,她开始更快速地warm up,展露原来的自己。

这个时候的沁芝,懂得给阿妹姨姨刷牙。小孩子就喜欢扮演大人是角色

mummy每次看到婆婆这么给沁芝刷牙,总会在嘴里feel到手巾磨牙的感觉

沁芝自己喜欢刷牙后,嘴巴张大大,让mummy检查和嗅嗅草莓口味的牙膏

这个时候的沁芝,懂得要戴bangle了。

去到姨姨家,吵着要ah tin姨姨的首饰

最近沁芝这么给婆婆背。mummy看了不是太高兴,把沁芝叫下来,她哇哇大哭

沁芝你长大了,看到小时候是这样让婆婆背着,应该也会后悔吧

沁芝今年星期天上happy train早课,我们不时带沁芝吃toastbox早餐,mummyr让沁芝继续用这传统的方法喝milo

这样的方法不知以后沁芝长大以后,还会有人这么喝吗?

不过这个月沁芝最劲爆的新尝试,就是终于踏入游泳池游泳

那是在农历十五这天。我们带沁芝到游泳池,mummy也下水游泳,又哄又骗,终于引诱沁芝套上mickey游泳圈下水试试。我们没有带相机,错过了捕捉珍贵的镜头

但mummy夹沁芝的脚,在水中轻微跳跳,让怀抱里的沁芝尝试水中轻盈跳跃、无重量的美妙

再来是让沁芝在水中踢腿

沁芝果然非常喜欢,哈哈、嘎嘎大笑

再抱着沁芝,让沁芝尝试把头往后,靠在游泳圈看天空的小鸟,沁芝也感受到漂浮的奥妙

虽然这些都没有捕捉下来,但感觉都好清晰,仿佛还听到沁芝的笑声,这就是一起探索、学习的乐趣,看到孩子克服自己,尝试新东西,满足感非常大

沁芝看到mummy戴goggles,回家后也拿来戴上

这次不小心让沁芝着凉受寒,但也让沁芝喜欢上游泳,她不时还说要去游泳。太好了!

新尝试总是很不容易的,不管对谁而言

不管是什么事

如沁芝克服恐惧下水,非常不容易但也非常了不起

又如在学校学习穿珠子造手链

说到新尝试,最近daddy如果晚班,早上下班后都会带沁芝去公园

我很喜欢daddy这样,和沁芝独处

我觉得有太多的东西,是独处、一对一学出来的。让沁芝教会的。

而且mummy真的希望daddy更多的参与沁芝的成长。

开口叫mummy和沁芝一起和沁芝进去上课,那太容易了。太容易。就一句话而已。

困难的是如何说服沁芝,如何让沁芝改变心里的想法。开始喜欢和daddy一起做一些活动。

daddy说,如果不和孩子花时间,那生孩子干什么?

是啊,所以daddy真应该争取和沁芝相聚、独处的机会。

更希望daddy不要随便发脾气,要沁芝喝水,沁芝不依,就发脾气。那是不是太容易了?

Completely miss the point了?

困难是如何让沁芝多喝水?怎么用巧妙的方法、斗智让沁芝习惯、喜欢喝水。忘记了是喝水这件事。

daddy不妨尝试动脑筋、更多创意思考,想方法、识破和孩子相处的窍门,那才能体验到当爸爸的乐趣。

这些东西旁人可以指点,提醒,但无法去代劳。真正去执行实在需要个人的effort和initiative。

靠我一个人,力量太单薄了,重点是,没有support和relief。就像一个人用一只手划船。

说到新尝试,

沁芝最近的另一新体验,就是接触影子的概念。这天带沁芝回pasir ris的时候,沁芝看到路上的影子,逗得很开心

我们第一次带沁芝去科学馆。

mummy也第一次和沁芝单独约会,上happy train之后和沁芝去午餐。

就我们俩

那是一个微妙的感觉。好像是我们私人的活动。:)

这个时候的沁芝,知道要过马路,要按pedestrain crossing button!

沁芝的新尝试也包括绑头发,很久都没有绑头发的沁芝,终于让mummy绑头发,好喜欢让沁芝尝试冲破自己的限制的感觉

这天地铁上没有人,沁芝尝试在地铁厢里走来走去,

have the mrt to herself

新尝试,真的很好,而且太太重要。

新尝试让人对自己以至于周围,世界有所发现。从而建立信心。和自我的身份、价值。

那感觉,就像是世界再扩大了一些,眼界被打开了一些。

那是极为吸引人的一件事。

mummy自己出国的时候,就有这种感觉。所以也会争取机会这么做。

更多的是,mummy想多多地为沁芝塑造新尝试和新体验

最近有机会去伦敦,很开心。马上要daddy拿假期。我想带沁芝一起去,和daddy和沁芝一起经历这个世界大城市。

因为和mummy去看的伦敦,包括采访,而且三个人去,只支付两个人的钱,住宿、吃的免费。

我再也找不到那么理想的便宜了

支付半价却收双倍之效的体验。

我有机会,也超想让沁芝和daddy去体验。我觉得那是太好的机会。

可是daddy似乎不太想。抛下一句:无法拿假。无法拿假。你那一句听不明白?

就把三个人的伦敦体验刷掉了。

我想抓紧的事情。枕边人轻易刷掉。

好纳闷。连试都不试,叫人很失望。

那我一个人还去经验伦敦吗?我知道我去,一定有收获。我的眼界会被打开。我会更成熟。我会更独立。我会有很多的获得。我甚至考虑自己带着沁芝去。

最后,决定是不去了。考虑到daddy会不高兴。

我不太喜欢自己的决定受到牵制的这种感觉。

也觉得daddy不会明白。

也不会认为,我放弃的机会有什么了不起。或者他觉得,我应该放弃。

就是这样的情绪,让我身体里面又掀起混战。

daddy的脑子里会这样想吗?

-让mummy出国,争取和沁芝独处。

-或者让mummy出国成长、休息?

-或者这里的一切他全包了,搞定,好让mummy不需担心、牵挂这里任何事情,可以一个人出国?

他会这样想吗?

mummy经常觉得不被了解,就是这些情绪了。让人心里实在不好受。

心里不住的落寞起来。好像有一部分不被了解。

anyway

这个时候的沁芝,收到了好些礼物

有daddy买的新水壶

还有姨姨买的mickey mouse和minnie

最近沁芝和ah shan/davina姐姐感情倍增,会和姐姐亲昵,抱抱

那天沁芝吵着要,要ah shan姐姐带,结果大家就去了tampines,让姨姨破费了

沁芝生日,还有阿嬷、婆婆、姨姨给的红包

这些都是很深重的祝福。

那天正月25沁芝过华人生日


婆婆姨姨煮鸡蛋面线给沁芝,沁芝吃的非常开心,不亦乐乎,没两下吃精光

还好有这几个人,这么疼爱沁芝

ah ben gorgor买了hello kitty生日蛋糕

婆婆姨姨阿嬷给的红包,下面是阿妹姨姨特地到四马路拿的平安红包

这个时候的沁芝,福建话一流,会说:buey kee gia tutu 忘记拿tutu

看到姨姨扫地,居然还会赞:ayee jin kiang 阿姨利害

几天不见,沁芝看到mummy的时候说:mummy抱抱一下。
这就是mummy每次看到沁芝说的话。

还有,最近睡觉前,总是和沁芝回顾一天的事。和沁芝躺在枕头上聊天。
沁芝也习惯了,会说,要和mummy聊天。

带沁芝搭地铁回来,mummy说,人好多,不知道要怎么挤出门外?
沁芝说,等下人出去,我们就可以出去了咯!
哇clap clap clap

大家听说沁芝要回家了,都舍不得
ah xiong舅舅约了沁芝每天和他早餐
ah kiat舅舅每晚放工就开门找沁芝,听说沁芝要回家,故意说,你不要来了!结果沁芝很大反应喊:要要要!

还有mummy不小心喂沁芝吃东西,弄到沁芝的衣服,沁芝小大人说:“不要紧,等下要换衣服了。”

最妙的是这句了。
daddy:沁芝喝水(x many many times)
沁芝:不要一直讲这个啦!
是啊!可以有创意一点吗?

真的好利害说话。

happi birthdae dearie

may u b well n happy

may u bring lots of joy n fulfillment to yourself and to others