0

10 Years 5 Months

刚才沁芝躺在床上后跟mommy说:“Mom, i feel neglected when you are taking care of Huaihao last time. And I don’t like it that you make me cut my hair.”

听了有点震惊。这突然的告白。可能我知道,但亲耳听到沁芝说。一时间也不晓得怎么解释。好像说什么也无补于事。在小孩眼里心里,伤已经种下。

我道歉。

“qinzhi , i m sorry, because last time huaihao is small, so i need to take care of him. but you were grown up already. And about cutting hair, i apologise to you, will you forgive me?”

沁芝笑笑,说:“a little bit”

今天是青年节,孩子们没有上学。daddy碰巧没有上班。带着两人去了Jewel的Canopy玩。傍晚等mommy下班然后我们一块去了city hall吃晚餐。但是沁芝好像有点累了。

有点absence seizure。mommy担心。尝试各种方式转移沁芝的注意力。同时保持觉知,安定自己。让自己转化可能有的害怕。

回来过后听沁芝告白。有一种无法原谅自己就是那种说什么也没有用的感觉。因为错了就是错了。或许是自己一手成就,或是各种因缘下造成。已经造就沁芝的受伤。

懊恼自己生气自己也气daddy,因为当初他什么都要我带,比如钢琴课等等。他越是这样,我越是要他带沁芝。就是这样的因缘下,我们一一步向这样的结果。但是生气懊恼有用吗?

算了陈彬雁!那是过去。

我肯定这样的情绪。I honour this feeling in me. Thank you for lettting me feel you and understand you. And now I m letting you go. You made me learn something important. About recognising and honouring feelings.

Going forward, what will be very important is to really spend time with Qinzhi and to heal together.

这个月,沁芝有个晚上发生seizure了。那是在学校露营的前一天。沁芝高高兴兴去整理所需物品后。睡觉的时候,mommy在帮沁芝按摩脚的时候,感觉到沁芝jerk了两下。结果半夜3点15分,突然惊醒,听到声音。打开电灯,看到沁芝在床上抽搐。马上叫爸爸过来,后来塞了药,沁芝才安定下来。带了沁芝去看医生,我们尝试让沁芝知道过夜不太理想。但是沁芝好想去。爸爸最后听沁芝的。但是最后是校长不允许。沁芝一直说:“i want to stay”哭了。

最后还是爸爸和皓皓去把沁芝带回来。

学校假期以来,沁芝去学习烘焙、制作巧克力、制作饼干、制作日本拉面。一个半月完全没事。结果开学碰到这个露营的活动,复发。

然后去了一风堂学习制作拉面。

这个时候的沁芝也好爱BlackPink,韩国组合和歌曲。不停的练唱,不停模仿舞蹈动作等等。

假期的时候,沁芝很期待的就是zhongli舅舅的婚礼,就在四川豆花饭庄。

然后mommy去了一趟巴黎公干,回来后买了很美的睡衣给沁芝。

这个时候最重要的一件事,就是mommy辞职了。因为看到放在沁芝身上的心血让沁芝康复起来,让沁芝开花。mommy心想,假如用我建立米其林平台那样的用心去投入沁芝,她会怎样?我想看看。我想争取在还有机会的时候,投入沁芝。我想把自己错过的,让沁芝觉得她被错过的,在这个休息的阶段中,好好让我们两个有一个机会一起去经验。一起成长一起疗愈。一起康复。

前天接触到一个Reiki master,他说,沁芝在重复我经历过的。比如我小时候是由奶妈照料的,沁芝也是。小时候我没有感觉到的妈妈的爱,现在也重复在沁芝的身上。但是人是会进步的。我不懂得说出我的不满不足够,但是沁芝懂得。她需要注意力,需要拥抱,需要mommy的时候,沁芝懂得表现出来,之前用非常极端的方式————seizure,现在懂得告诉我,要抱抱。

从巴黎回来后,毅然决定辞职。纵然不知道前面的路,但是就是想争取机会争取时间,好好投入自己好好投入沁芝。

修身齐家。

Advertisements
0

Stopping

Is it coincidence? That I see this now? So many wonderful teachings in here.

Rest in the River

BY THICH NHAT HANH

My dear friends, suppose someone is holding a pebble and throws it in the air and the pebble begins to fall down into a river. After the pebble touches the surface of the water, it allows itself to sink slowly into the river.

It will reach the bed of the river without any effort. Once the pebble is at the bottom of the river, it continues to rest. It allows the water to pass by.

I think the pebble reaches the bed of the river by the shortest path because it allows itself to fall without making any effort. During our sitting meditation we can allow ourselves to rest like a pebble. We can allow ourselves to sink naturally without effort to the position of sitting, the position of resting.

Resting is a very important practice; we have to learn the art of resting. Resting is the first part of Buddhist meditation. You should allow your body and your mind to rest. Our mind as well as our body needs to rest.

The problem is that not many of us know how to allow our body and mind to rest. We are always struggling; struggling has become a kind of habit. We cannot resist being active, struggling all the time. We struggle even during our sleep.

It is very important to realize that we have the habit energy of struggling. We have to be able to recognize a habit when it manifests itself because if we know how to recognize our habit, it will lose its energy and will not be able to push us anymore.

Ten years ago I was in India visiting the ex-untouchable community of Buddhists. A friend who belonged to the caste organized the trip for me. I was sitting on the bus, enjoying the landscape outside, contemplating the palm trees and the vegetation. Suddenly I turned and I saw him looking very tense. There was no reason why he had to be tense like that. I thought that he was trying to make my visit pleasant and maybe that was the reason he was so tense. I told him, “Dear friend, I know that you want to make my trip pleasant, but I am already very happy. I’ve already enjoyed the trip. So why don’t you sit back, smile, and relax?” He said, “Okay,” and he sat back and he tried to relax.

I was pleased and I turned my face toward the window again and I enjoyed the palm trees and other things. But just a few minutes after when I looked back at him he was as tense as before. He was not able to relax, to allow himself to relax. I knew that he belonged to that section of the population that had been struggling for many thousand years. He was discriminated against. He had suffered so much, his ancestors and himself and his children. So the tendency to struggle has been there for many thousand years. That is why it was very difficult for him to allow himself to rest.

When an animal in the jungle is wounded, it knows how to find a quiet place, lie down and do nothing. The animal knows that is the only way to get healed—to lay down and just rest.

We have to practice in order to be able to transform this habit in us. The habit of struggle has become a powerful source of energy that is shaping our behavior, our actions and our reactions.

When an animal in the jungle is wounded, it knows how to find a quiet place, lie down and do nothing. The animal knows that is the only way to get healed—to lay down and just rest, not thinking of anything, including hunting and eating. Not eating is a very wonderful way of allowing your body to rest. We are so concerned about how to get nutrition that we are afraid of resting, of allowing our body to rest and to fast. The animal knows that it does not need to eat. What it needs is to rest, to do nothing, and that is why its health is restored.

In our consciousness there are wounds also, lots of pains. Our consciousness also needs to rest in order to restore itself. Our consciousness is just like our body. Our body knows how to heal itself if we allow it the chance to do so. When we get a cut on our finger we don’t have to do anything except to clean it and to allow it the time to heal, because our body knows how to heal itself. The same thing is true with our consciousness; our consciousness knows how to heal itself if we know how to allow it to do so. But we don’t allow it. We always try to do something. We worry so much about healing, which is why we do not get the healing we need. Only if we know how to allow them to rest can our body and our soul heal themselves.

But there is in us what we call the energy of restlessness. We cannot be at peace with ourselves. We cannot be peaceful. We cannot sit; we cannot lie down. There is some energy in us to do this, to do that, to think of this, to think of that, and that kind of restlessness makes us unhappy. That is why it is so important for us to learn first of all to allow our body to rest. We have to learn how to deal with all our energy of restlessness. That is why we have to learn these techniques of allowing our body and our consciousness to rest.

I would like to offer you some instructions about walking meditation. The first thing we shall do early tomorrow morning is to practice walking together, which we call walking meditation. Walking meditation means to enjoy walking without any intention to arrive. We don’t need to arrive anywhere. We just walk. We enjoy walking. That means walking is already stopping, and that needs some training.

The miracle is not to walk on burning charcoal or in the thin air or on the water; the miracle is just to walk on earth.

Usually in our daily life we walk because we want to go somewhere. Walking is only a means to an end, and that is why we do not enjoy every step we take. Walking meditation is different. Walking is only for walking. You enjoy every step you take. So this is a kind of revolution in walking. You allow yourself to enjoy every step you take.

The Zen master Ling Chi said that the miracle is not to walk on burning charcoal or in the thin air or on the water; the miracle is just to walk on earth. You breathe in. You become aware of the fact that you are alive. You are still alive and you are walking on this beautiful planet. That is already performing a miracle. The greatest of all miracles is to be alive. We have to awaken ourselves to the truth that we are here, alive. We are here making steps on this beautiful planet. This is already performing a miracle.

But we have to be here in order for the miracle to be possible. We have to bring ourselves back to the here and the now. Therefore each step we take becomes a miracle. If you are able to walk like that, each step will be very nourishing and healing. You walk as if you kiss the earth with your feet, as if you massage the earth with your feet. There is a lot of love in that practice of walking meditation.

The Buddha said that the past is gone and the future is not yet here. Let us not regret the past. Let us not worry about the future. Go back to the present moment and live deeply the present moment. Because the present moment is the only moment where you can touch life. Life is available only in the present moment. That is why walking meditation is to go back to the present moment, in order to be alive again and to touch life deeply in that moment. In order to be able to touch the earth with our feet and enjoy walking, we have to establish ourselves firmly in the present moment, in the here and the now.

I have arrived, I have arrived. I am home, I am home.

In walking meditation, we walk like a free person. This is not political freedom. This is freedom from afflictions, from sorrow, from fear. Unless you are free you cannot enjoy walking. I would like to propose to you a short poem that you might like to use for walking meditation:

I have arrived. I am home.
In the here. In the now.
I am solid. I am free.
In the ultimate I dwell.

You might like to take two steps and breathe in and say, I have arrived, I have arrived. And when you breathe out, you take another two steps and say silently, I am home, I am home. Our true home is really in the here and in the now. Because only in the here and the now can we touch life. As the Buddha said, life is available only in the here and the now, so going back to the present moment is going home. That is why you take one step or two steps and you awaken to the fact that you have arrived. You have arrived in the present moment.

If you are able to arrive, then you will stop running—running within and running without. There is a belief in us that happiness cannot be possible in the here and the now. We have to go somewhere. We have to go to the future in order to be able to really be happy.

That kind of thinking has been there for a long time. Maybe that feeling has been transmitted to us from our ancestors and our parents. That is why we have to wake up to the presence of that habit energy in us and to do the reverse. The Buddha said that it is possible for us to be peaceful and happy in the present moment. That is the teaching of trista dharma sadha vihara. It means living happily right in the present moment. When you are there, body and mind united, you have an opportunity to touch the conditions of your happiness. If you are able to touch these conditions of happiness that are already available in the here and the now, you can be happy right away. You don’t have to run anywhere, especially into the future.
When we practice walking, we might be aware that we have strong feet. Our feet are strong enough for us to enjoy running and walking. That is one condition for happiness that is available. When I breathe in and I become aware of my eyes, I encounter another condition for my happiness. Breathing in, I am aware of my eyes. Breathing out, I smile to my eyes. This is an exercise, a very simple exercise to help you realize that you have eyes which are still in good condition. You need only to open your eyes to see the blue sky, the white cloud, the luxurious vegetation. You can see all kinds of forms and colors just because you have eyes still in good condition. Your eyes are another condition for your happiness. We have so many conditions like that for our happiness and yet we are still unhappy. We still want to run away from the present moment, hoping we’ll find some happiness in the future.

Breathing in, I’m aware of my heart. Breathing out, I smile to my heart. That is another exercise. When you practice like that you touch your heart with your mindfulness. If you continue a minute, you realize that you still have a heart that functions normally. It is wonderful to have a heart that still functions normally. There are people who don’t have a heart like that and their deepest desire is to have a heart like you. So conditions for happiness may be more than enough for us to be happy, but we are not able to be happy because of that tendency to run away from the present moment.

Make the present moment, the here and the now, into your true home. That is the only home that we have.

To take an in-breath, to smile, and to touch the conditions of happiness that are available, is something that all of us can do. Because of that we can stop and establish ourselves in the present moment. That is the teaching of living happily in the present moment. Please train yourself to make the present moment, the here and the now, into your true home. That is the only home that we have. That is the only place where we can touch life. Everything we are looking for must be found in the here and the now. In that way walking meditation can be a great pleasure and can be very healing.

Do you have to make any effort to practice walking meditation? I don’t think so. It is like when you drink a glass of orange juice. Do you think that you have to make an effort in order to enjoy the orange juice? No. Walking is like that. To really enjoy a glass of orange juice, you have to be there one hundred per cent mind and body together. If you are there, mind and body firmly established in the present moment, then a glass of orange juice will become a real thing for you. You are real; therefore, the juice is real. And there life is real. Life exists. Life is deep during the time you drink your orange juice.

When you contemplate a beautiful sunset, do you have to make any effort? I don’t think so. You don’t have to make any effort in order to enjoy a beautiful sunset. You need only to be there, to be there mind and body together. But if your body is there and your mind is in the past or in the future, then the beautiful sunset will not be there for you.

There is a kind of energy that helps you to be there body and mind together. That energy is called mindfulness. Mindfulness is the capacity of being there body and mind united. When you drink your orange juice, drink mindfully and you will enjoy your juice because you are really there one hundred per cent. If your body and mind are united when you contemplate the beautiful sunset, it means that you are mindful. Mindfulness helps you to be there in order for the beautiful sunset to be there too. While you walk, if you allow yourself to be there mind and body together, then walking will become mindful walking; it will be healing, refreshing and nourishing.

To meditate means first of all to be there, to be on your cushion, to be on your walking meditation path. Eating also is a meditation if you are really there, present one hundred per cent with your food. The essential is to be there. So please when you practice walking meditation, don’t make any effort. Allow yourself to be like that pebble at rest. The pebble is resting at the bottom of the river and the pebble does not have to do anything. While you are walking, you are resting. While you are sitting, you are resting.

If you struggle during your sitting meditation or walking meditation, you are not doing it right. The Buddha said, “My practice is the practice of non-practice.” That means a lot. Give up all struggle. Allow yourself to be, to rest.

I sit on my meditation cushion. I consider it to be something very pleasant. I don’t struggle at all on my cushion. I allow myself to be, to rest. I don’t make any effort and that is why I do not get any trouble while sitting. While sitting I do not struggle and that is why all my muscles are relaxed. If you struggle during your sitting meditation, you will very soon have pain in your shoulders and back and things like that. But if you allow yourself to be rested on your cushion you can sit very long, and each minute is light, refreshing, nourishing and healing.

It is not sitting in order to struggle to get enlightenment. No. Sitting first of all is for the pleasure of sitting. Walking first of all is for the pleasure of walking. And eating is for the pleasure of eating. And the art is to be there one hundred per cent.

When I was a novice I learned how to light a stick of incense in mindfulness. You see, when you light incense you think that the purpose of lighting incense is to have the incense pervading the Buddha’s home. But lighting the incense is just for lighting the incense. You pick up a stick of incense mindfully and you enjoy that, because it is by itself an act of meditation. During the time you pick up the stick of incense you are mindful, you are concentrated, you are real, because your body and your mind are together. And the stick of incense is real. When you strike a match, you do the same thing. During the time you strike a match, you only strike a match. You don’t do anything else. You don’t think of other things. You are perfectly mindful of striking a match. You are concentrated on it, and you enjoy the act of lighting the incense.

When you hold a stick of incense, it is the same. When I stick it into the incense burner, I put my left hand on my right hand. That is the tradition. Everyone in the Buddhist tradition lights incense in that way. The stick of incense is very light; one hand is enough in order to hold it. Why do you have to put your left hand on your right hand? Because it means that you are doing it with one hundred per cent of your body and your mind.

Be there truly. Be there one hundred per cent of yourself. In every moment of your daily life. That is the essence of true Buddhist meditation. Each of us knows that we can do that, so let us train to live each moment of our daily life deeply. That is why I like to define mindfulness as the energy that helps us to be there one hundred per cent. The energy of your true presence.

Breathing in—in the here, in the here. Breathing out—in the now, in the now. Although these are different words they mean exactly the same thing. I have arrived in the here. I have arrived in the now. I am home in the here. I am home in the now.

When you practice like that, you practice stopping. Stopping is the basic Buddhist practice of meditation. You stop running. You stop struggling. You allow yourself to rest, to heal, to calm.

And after a few minutes of practice you might switch into doing the third line—I am solid, I am free. This is not auto-suggestion. Why? Because if you have succeeded in arriving in the here and in the now you are much freer. You are free from the past, from the future, from your worries, from your fear. And you become much more solid; your steps become more solid and you become more solid in your body and in your mind. Solidity becomes a reality after a few minutes of arriving, of being home.

Solidity and freedom are two characteristics of nirvana. Nirvana is not something abstract. The Buddha said we can touch nirvana with our own body. So while you practice walking meditation you can begin to touch nirvana already with your body and your spirit.

When you feel you are a little bit more solid, a little bit more free, then you begin to touch nirvana with your body and spirit. Solidity and freedom are the true base for your happiness and well being. No happiness, no well being, is possible without solidity and freedom.

The last line of the poem is wonderful. In the ultimate I dwell. In the ultimate. In the ultimate. I dwell. I dwell. The ultimate here is the true foundation of your being.

Let us visualize the waves on the ocean, several waves appearing on the surface of the ocean. Some waves are big, there are those that are small, and each wave seems to have its own life. A wave may have ideas like, “I am a wave. I am only a wave among many waves. I am smaller than the other wave. I am less beautiful. I last less than the other wave.” Ideas like that. A wave can be caught in jealousy, in fear, in discrimination.

But if the wave is able to bend down and touch the water within herself, it will realize that while it is a wave, it is at the same time water. Water is the foundation of the wave. While waves can be high and low, more and less beautiful, the water is free from all these notions. That is why if we are able to touch the foundation of our being, we can release our fear and our suffering.

Touching the foundation of our being means touching nirvana. Our foundation is not subjected to birth and death, being and non-being. A wave can live the life of a wave, but a wave can do much better than that. While living the life of a wave, a wave can live a life of the water. The more our solidity and our freedom grows, the deeper we touch the ground of our own being. That is the door for emancipation, for the greatest relief.

0

Healing xxxxxvix

过了两个月了,终于回去找老师。跟老师说,我去了北海道,跟老师说,我去了巴黎,跟老师说,我辞职了。

还有很多。

我说,希望趁着还有机会的时候,去好好投入自己和家庭。跟孩子一起heal。我说在追逐梦想和事业的当儿,我确实偏离了家庭,忘记了聆听,忘记聆听自己和他人,变得自傲了。记得阿嬷说,妈妈健康孩子就幸福。

这些话突然make sense了。

我说有一天,我突然有这样的一个想法。如果我因为什么事情没有办法陪在孩子身边,我真的感觉愧对孩子。亏欠孩子。对不起孩子。

工作方面的push,家庭的pull,让我在这个时候做了辞职的决定。我跟老师说,辞职信递上去以后,突然觉得肩膀上轻了许多。那时候才知道,原来我扛了这么重的一个责任。才知道,原来这样太不需要。Unnecessary load。

我承认,在某一程度上,bf对了。是我错了。这是一个humbling experience。

从创作和专业的角度来看,我觉得暂停————就是创作当中最重要的过程。没有暂停,没有办法晋升下一个阶段,上升到另一个层次。我需要先滋养自己,才能滋养家庭,才能在职场上站稳。修身齐家。

老师说,巧的是,他最近也有停下来的想法。所以很能够了解我的说法。

然后提到肚脐上的cyst,老师带领我去了解它。

我说,它就是一个toughened up、go all out、去到尽到坚持的个性使然。在不同的场合当中,这样的性格展现了出来,比如采访的时候,我就能够去挖出很深的东西。在工作当中,还没意识到就已经去到尽了。极端。在工作上,我都要做最出色的最好的。在工作的训练当中,我也都在找一个点,一个角度,去做发挥,去吸引读者和观众。

那是一个什么情况下programme成的?就是妈妈去世,爸爸摊在医院的地上哭,完全的挫败和沮丧。应该就是那一刻,我下定了决心,要扛起责任。不这么做,怎么办?怎么生存?

自小,在这么大的家庭当中,就有比较。我们和父亲都不是最出色的。不出色,就不被照顾、没有给到注意力。为什么?光是存在不就已经很值得被注意了吗?爸爸在家族里没有得到应得的照料,甚至是不太被尊重和看得起的,身为女儿,我很努力,就是要挣回一口气。

现在这么想,我记起了妈妈的一段话。妈妈说:“好好读书,帮爸爸挣回一口气。”

现在想想————沁芝的呼应就是为了教我的就是这个。去珍惜一个存在。而不只是去寻找亮眼的。老师引导我,把这一切扛起担子、责任的做法放下,交还给爸爸,相信他有这个能力去处理一切,我就只做我当时应该做的事。老师说,我骑劫了爸爸的责任。因为当时的环境迫切,我当下的决定,让我没有一个机会好好去哀悼母亲的过世。跳过了这个过程。或许在眼前的这段休息的时间里,我会有机会去正视。Give the responsibility back to your father and trust that he can handle and manage them. And claim back your power.

老师说,要我去做一件事。那就是从今天起,记得—————这一切是过去。现在的情形不同,我再也不需要像是当时一样的反应了。I can simply be myself.

于是我想到了,最近沁芝一直也在骑劫我们大人的责任,在训话、教导、教育皓皓。就像我一样。重复着我。

这样一看,更加明白,生活要的是我们的承认我们的诚实。

老师再引导我,让我再一次去看这个cyst。我说,还是很rigid,硬邦邦的,有愤怒有气愤,有很多的愤愤不平。就是职场上没有办事能力的人反而能够得逞,老板听信谗言,我对这一切的不满的愤怒。我跟老师说,我看不过眼看不过去。

老师教我呼吸,慢慢的去work on cyst,去让它更更多的space。而不是处在压缩的状态。我在事情发生的时候没有去处理,变成是我live and breathe the frustration和anger。

老师教导我,几个站稳自己的做法,4种方式:

-从母亲大地提取能量

-双手交叉扫身子

-手脚交叠

-呼吸的时候吸进joy,peace去把这些呼吸进去。

我跟老师说,这几个月的努力让我看到沁芝的改变,假如我可以用投入网站这样的专注力,将之投入在沁芝身上,相信对她对我都更好。

每次去找老师,都有新的学习和认识。慢慢的看到了生活的样子。比如外婆60岁患病,母亲40多岁病倒,现在我又看到身上的cyst,我发现母亲和外婆都没有和丈夫有很深很fulfilling的relationship,没有得到应得的注意。最后伤在自己身上。

我要以此为借鉴。

谢谢老师!老师说,这么多年,看到我的蜕变和成长,就像是一个家长一样,很感欣慰。谢谢老师的一路的指引、引导和扶持才是。

0

6 Yrs 5 mths

去学校领取皓皓这个学期的作业,老师说:“huaihao is a joy to have in class, he is focussed and learns fast. He follows rules and if others don’t , he will educate others by saying—-follow the rules, not funny huh. and his maths have improved after he got on the enrichment class, more importantly, he enjoys it.”

这个时候的皓皓,跟archer好好。两个小瓜太可爱了。

学校假期的第一天,我们起个大早,去了Jewel!

之后在樟宜机场玩耍!

带沁芝去问神的时候,皓皓也在。善才子说,皓皓的抵抗力不那么好,系要少吃,中医调理会比较好。然后说,这个孩子,妈妈可以疼但是不可以宠,不然妈妈的爱会是毒药。

Mommy从北海道回来,皓皓沁芝开始了Holiday的烹饪课,之后去Conrad Staycaytion,做一些皓皓沁芝最爱的小事,比如泡泡浴缸、游泳

不知不觉,皓皓长高了,像是个小男生一样的在对待女生

皓皓喜欢拍照,拍照的时候还会摆pose,搭肩

趁着星期一爸爸没有上班,我们去了National Art Gallery 玩

0

10 Years 4 Months

亲爱的沁芝

这个时候的你,多了一重新的体验,就是用我们华人的方式——一如公公建议那般,去请教神明,或者说,问神。我们去请教善才子了。沁芝皓皓居然不怕。

善才子看到沁芝,先是把脉,然后说:“这个女孩子啊,很有自己的想法,很像是爸爸的个性。需要爸爸去跟她沟通。这个女孩子,妒忌心很强。不喜欢别人跟她碎碎念,跟她说话要说重点。不要以为她静静在一边就是好事,一定要多多跟她沟通,让她把心里的话说出来。她身体也比较寒。”

所幸的是,没有犯到什么。转告公公,他放心。

这个时候的沁芝是漂亮的,鹅蛋脸,圆润的身材,修长的肢体。两颊泛红。而且,最近喜欢上夹眼睫毛,夹得美美的。只是,沁芝老是发脾气,火火的冲冲的。老说皓皓很坏蛋,让你很气愤。

Mommy可以怎么帮你呢?每次沁芝生气,mommy都尝试多一种方式。

最近沁芝爱摄影。这一天阿姨带大伙去吃Summer Pavilion,之后去Gardens by the Bay。沁芝就在这里玩摄影。

这一天,请沁芝帮忙装水。然后小妞就跑到储藏室拿marker。写上这几个字。mommy很珍惜。以前我应该不懂珍惜。

放假的第一天,我们起个大早。去了Jewel。

然后在樟宜机场玩耍。

隔天和阿姨公公舅舅舅妈吃饭。先去吃acai berry bowl, 我们都深深爱上这个甜品。

这个学校假期,给沁芝安排了一些假期都节目,比如烘焙等等。希望沁芝去pasir ris的当儿,也学习到一些新的东西,有新的体验。

比如,制作便当!

Mommy从北海道回来,沁芝说mommy开心了一些。接着是去Conrad的staycation。皓皓长大了,拍照的时候懂得这样用手搭肩了

staycation就是做孩子最喜欢的,泡泡浴缸游游泳现在还外加享受早点

好久没有给沁芝绑头发了。以前都是mommy给沁芝绑头发。绕了一圈。小妞自己学会绑头发。手艺比我还棒!

星期一爸爸没有上班,我们去了National Art Gallery,才知道沁芝喜欢当老师,而且非常记得上课的情景。也感觉到沁芝对数学又爱又恨的情绪。在黑板前,沁芝“教”最多的就是数学

沁芝知道吗?mommy也请sakya的仁波切给沁芝诵经,加持和祝福沁芝。

0

我不要躲在一个角落

我也觉得名字摆在左边的设计相当的别致。但是我看了一天,感觉不对。起初不明白。

后来我知道了。

我不要躲在一个角落。我也不要跟着我的你们,也用心在说故事的你们跟着我躲在一个角落。名字摆在中间是动力,也是鞭策。再看一次吧。再看哪里需要再改。让短片更精简利落。更到位(味)。继续让人说出需要被听到的话,解放心里的那把声音。

0

6 yrs 4mths

带沁芝皓皓去见喇嘛,请他加持。

最近让沁芝碰碰烹饪。让沁芝切蔬菜、制作薯条。皓皓帮忙撒盐、吃。不亦乐乎。

ah xiong舅舅的脚趾发炎腐烂,必须去割掉。请皓皓沁芝写卡片给他,也谢谢他上次中码票,给沁芝皓皓红包。

帮daddy庆祝生日,于是跟我们大家商讨了大计,大家要躲起来,然后daddy开门时要大喊生日快乐!

考试期间,沁芝自己温习。好棒!

卫塞节前夕,带沁芝皓皓去Intercontinental Staycation,让两个小瓜做喜欢的事,游泳、泡泡浴、吃寿司、吃早餐。皓皓还准备了自己的画册!

staycation之后去了阿姨家,两个宝贝就像阿姨的孩子一样。现在才知道,以前妈妈和姨妈多么的亲近。之后我们隔天相约去Jewel逛逛。

隔天醒来,肚子痛,这么告诉皓皓,他急急忙忙跑过来问候:“is there something i can do for you?”

皓皓看到听到mommy赞姐姐,都会自动发声:“妈妈,我的皮肤也很好。我也很聪明……一类”

皓皓把心中的想法表达出来,光是这一点,很非常让人值得学习。

皓皓给karyn姐姐和mommy画了可爱的小图画。他说,假如姐姐问起,说怎么粉红色彩到外边,那就解释:“因为姐姐的头发是长的!”

mommy的同事旅游回来,买了小小拼图给沁芝皓皓。皓皓于是做了卡片。Yvette姐姐回礼!


本学期最后一次spelling,皓皓当天早上才学!

宝贝,只是要你健康、快乐!