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感悟三篇

之一

“我想很快,什么也局限不了皓皓了,每每把玩具丢到沙发一角,皓皓总是奋力直前,毫不退缩。那是生命最原始最自然的一股力量,大人不知在哪儿遗矢掉,我也是。谢谢皓皓让我看到,让我想要找回。”

摘自<皓皓7months>

生命最初的样子是什么?
我们大人应该离去很远,不然怎么需要找寻?记忆里,好像很难找出来的东西。
我想,是一种pure/unrestricted/freedom/fearless/unbounded/unrestricted/non conceptual/primitive
一种as it is的energy或状态。
大人被世俗、被自己的过去、被社会、被执着,被自己禁锢。惹出一身、生祸害。
挣脱这一切,宛如破茧而出。
生命再折腾,生活再令人窒息,我们都更应该努力。回到最初状态。

之二

什么是爱?
因为爱,所以希望对方更好,所以希望对方能改掉不好的,变得更好。
但也是出于爱,有一天,可能会觉得尊重原来的他就是了。不要再用心去改变什么。你是你。我是我。
怎么都好,有距离了。
真是微妙。

之三

怎么初初的爱到后来都会不见?像是生命最初的那些力量?怎么?全被生活磨蹭掉了吗?
可以去哪里找。回。来。

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Mind as creator of reality

http://www.social-consciousness.com/2012/02/law-of-attraction-fundamentals.html?m=1

Ultra interesting n enriching read that sheds light on reality n the connection with mind.

Some excerpts:

Your thoughts do indeed create your reality. Thoughts are forms of energy that are sent ahead and eventually manifest as physical matter. The thoughts you think determine the outcome of your worldly experiences, from finances to health, relationships to environment. In fact, there is no aspect of your life that is not affected by your thoughts.
“Your imagination is your preview of life’s coming attractions.” -Albert Einstein

“The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.” -William James

Words do not matter much but the emotion behind the words does. The Universe works on vibration. Everything is vibration first and matter second. When you feel an affirming emotion when focusing thought you are now creating dynamic change. Pure thought with positive emotion is said to be the equivalent of 2000 action hours. The problem that many people run into is that they “pretend” to be positive on the outside but are really vibrating negativity on the inside. They might not even be aware of what it is that they are doing.

Three Ways of Attracting

1. Direct Asking
You are angry that you have a beat up old car and every day you proclaim how much you despise this car and wish someone would just come along and crash into it to get rid of it. Lo and behold, you are involved in a traffic accident and your car is destroyed. You act surprised when this event transpires and you move into blame and anger. You believe whole-heartily that it must be the other driver’s fault for not paying closer attention.

2. Fear
You might have heard stories of how wild animals are attracted to fear so if you are approached by one do not run or act afraid. The Law of Attraction works the very same way. If you are afraid of “catching” a horrible disease you are still attracting it to you. If you are afraid of financial failure you are still attracting it. Whatever you are afraid of has a good chance of coming closer to you. This occurs because your thoughts are like magnets, whether those thoughts are positive ones or negative ones.

3. Vibrational Alignment
Emotional alignment is important when attracting. Imagine leaving the house feeling like a victim. Why does it surprise you when you spill coffee on yourself? This incidence only matches a vibration that you were already experiencing. Like attracts more of the same. A vibration of negativity will bring more negativity your way whereas a vibrational attitude of positivity will attract positive results.

Sabotage

Why would someone deliberately choose to develop a horrible disease or choose to have bad things happen to them? This is often a challenging question for many to understand. The answer is very simple. We all have a part of ourselves that is frozen in sabotage. Not everyone wants to feel well or to be wealthy. Most people have invested a great amount of time and thought into sabotage and this is what shows up. You might have heard the expression that says, “if you go looking for trouble then trouble is likely to find you.”

A parent knows all too well how sabotage works. At one time or another most children will “develop” a cold or sickness to avoid a situation like going to school or visiting a relative. The child’s thoughts are powerful enough to change the physical body so the child can escape a situation that he or she does not know how to handle (i.e. a test, a conflict etc.).

As adults, our powerful thoughts continue to sabotage our lives, only the outcome is often quite stronger. From putting on weight to financial hardships, if you are not thriving then your thoughts are actively involved in sabotaging your greatest successes. You have invested in sabotage as the primary reference point in your life. Somehow you errantly believe that you are benefiting from sabotage just like the sick child feels a benefit by not having to attend school.

For instance, many people create illnesses to rest, take a break from life, to be taken care of by others or to avoid an uneasy situation. Instead of learning to find the tools to resolve these conflicts, becoming sick is the easiest way to find relief. One could make the argument that hospitals are filled with people who are choosing illness as a way of getting relief from a mental conflict that they are unable to resolve any other way. Yes, your mind is that powerful and there are no exceptions.

—–>the last few paragraphs had my mind clicking n had the effect of waking me.

So. Qinzhi’s repetitive fevers n colds some time back could b a way in which she was working to get herself to pasir ris.

Redhill was stressful to her, possibly. And being sick allowed her to b at pasir ris.

And me too!

I kept sabotaging myself. I wondered why I couldn’t just break free of the fears n negativity?

Why do I keep having or feeding myself negative thoughts? Why do I still hang on to fear? Why do I keep moving in circles? Why do the same circumstances befall me?

It’s a bad habit I have engaged myself in again n again!
It’s not that you can’t get out but whether you want to !

Now I realized !

I sabotaged myself because I hadn’t been able to resolve a major conflict in my life!

When my dad fled, when mommy left n I was solely in charge of managing my broken poor home, I felt victimized .

I felt wronged n punished. I had to be present to those heavy responsibilities when I didn’t want to. I felt I didn’t deserve these.

I felt like a victim.

And a lack of wisdom didn’t allow me to go far.

I continued to victimize myself after it all, allowing myself to sink n fall in fear. Allowing myself to be influenced by affected by others….. I allowed myself to be a victim.

It was a place of familiarity in which I could sink in my emotions n ask for love. It shows my lack of confidence n security.

Silly! I could have asked for love directly!

Why i havent! And so, I chose the role of a victim again n again, in almost all circumstances, I chose to play that role!

It was a state that I unwisely chose over n over again. Locking myself in a bad habit n bad state continuously.

And so, now I know, I can choose not to sabotage myself . With awareness n wisdom, i know I can choose.

I have choice.

Yes I suffered those years. But I learnt much as well. Without that path, i wouldnt be me now. i wouldnt have been able to amass the skills n maturity that is in me now.
Those were pathways that I needed to walk on to grow.

And so, sabotage, thanks for teaching me these great lessons.

Bye!

All that I have been through cannot work for me from now on. I need a new method for my life.

Work is now on harnessing awareness n wisdom to shedding mental obesity , rewire n realign , healing n blossoming me .

With my v best wishes, TPY, you can do it.

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The Book of Protection : Value of Paritta

This came timely. I was just questioning myself. And then this answer came.

‘Recent research in medicine, in experimental psychology and what is still called parapsychology has thrown some light on the nature of mind and its position in the world. During the last forty years the conviction has steadily grown among medical men that very many causes of diseases organic as well as functional, are directly caused by mental states. The body becomes ill because the mind controlling it either secretly wants to make it ill, or else because it is in such a state of agitation that it cannot prevent the body from sickening. Whatever it’s physical nature, resistance to disease is unquestionably correlated with the physiological condition of the patient. (1)

‘Mind not only makes sick, it also cures. An optimistic patient has more chance of getting well than a patient who is worried and unhappy. The recorded instances of faith healing include cases in which even organic diseases were cured almost instantaneously. (2)

In this connection it is interesting to observe the prevalence, in Buddhist lands, of listening to the recital of the dhamma or the doctrine of the Buddha in order to avert illness or danger, to ward off the influence of malignant beings, to obtain protection and deliverance from evil, and to promote health, prosperity, welfare and well-being. The selected discourses for recital are known as ‘paritta suttas’, discourses for protection. But they are not ‘rakshana mantras’ or protective incantations found in Brahmanic religion, nor are they magical rites. There is nothing mystical in them.

‘Paritta’ in Pali, ‘Paritrana’ in Sanskrit and ‘Pirit’ (pronounced pirith) in Sinhala (3) mean principally protection. Paritta suttas describe certain suttas or discourses delivered by the Buddha and regarded as affording protection. This protection is to be obtained by reciting or listening to the Paritta Suttas. The practice of reciting or listening to the paritta suttas began very early in the history of Buddhism. The word paritta, in this context, was used by the Buddha, for the first time, in a discourse known as ‘Khandha Paritta’ (4) in the Culla Vagga of the Vinaya Pitaka (vol. ii, p. 109), and also in the Anguttara Nikaya under the title ‘Ahi (Metta) Sutta’ (vol. ii, p. 82). This discourse was recommended by the Buddha as guard or protection for the use of the members of the Order. The Buddha in this discourse exhorts the monks to cultivate Metta or Loving-kindness towards all beings.

It is certain that Paritta recital produces mental well-being in those who listen to them with intelligence, and have confidence in the truth of the Buddha’s words. Such mental well being can help those who are ill to recover, and can also help not only to induce the mental attitude that brings happiness but also to overcome its opposite. Originally, in India, those who listened to Paritta sayings of the Buddha understood what was recited and the effect on them was correspondingly great. The Buddha himself had Paritta recited to him, and he also requested others to recite Paritta for his own disciples when they were ill.(5). This practice is still in vogue in Buddhist lands.

The Buddha and the Arahants (the Consummate Ones) can concentrate on the paritta suttas without the aid of another. However, when they are ill, it is easier for them to listen to what others recite, and thus focus their minds on the Dhamma that the Suttas contain, rather than think of the Dhamma by themselves. There are occasions, as in the case of illness, which weaken the mind (in the case of worldlings), when hetero-suggestion has been found to be more effective than auto-suggestion.

According to the teachings of the Buddha the mind is so closely linked with the body that mental states affect the body’s health and well being. Some doctors even say there is no such thing as purely physical disease. ‘That even so grossly “physical” a complaint as dental caries may be due to mental causes was maintained in a paper read before the American Dental Congress in 1937. The author pointed out that children living on a perfectly satisfactory diet may still suffer dental decay. In such cases, investigation generally shows that the child’s life at home or at school is in some way unsatisfactory. The teeth decay because their owner is under mental strain.(6) Unless, according to the Buddhist doctrine of Kamma (Sanskrit Karma), (7) these bad mental states are caused as a result of one’s own acts (Akusala Kamma-Vipaka), and are therefore unalterable, it is possible so to change these mental states as to cause mental health and physical well-being to follow thereafter.

I. The Power of Truth

Several factors combine to contribute towards the efficacy of paritta recitals. Paritta recital is a form of Saccakiriya, i.e. an asseveration of truth. Protection results by the power of such asseveration. This means establishing oneself in the power of truth to gain one’s end. At the end of the recital of each Sutta, the reciters bless the listeners with the words, ‘etena sacca vajjena sotti te hotu sabbada’ which means ‘by the power of the truth of these words may you ever be well.’ The saying, ‘the power of the Dhamma or Truth protects the follower of the Shamma’ (dhammo have rakkhati dhammcarin) indicates the principle behind these Sutta recitals.

‘The belief in the effective power to heal, or protect, of the Saccakiriya, or asseveration of something quite true, is but another aspect of the work ascribed to the Paritta.(8)

2. The Power of Virtue

Several discourses of the Book of Protection describe the virtuous life. The starting point in Buddhism is Sila (virtue). Standing on the firm ground of Sila one should endeavour to achieve a collected mind. If it is true that virtue protects the virtuous, then a person who listens to the recital of Paritta Suttas intelligently, in a reflective mood, with complete confidence in the Buddha’s words, uttered by one who has gained complete Enlightenment, will acquire so virtuous a state of mind as would enable him to dominate any evil influence, and to be protected from all harm.

3. The Power of Love

The utterances of the compassionate Buddha are never void of love. He walked the high-ways and by-ways of India enfolding all within the aura of his love and compassion, instructing, enlightening and gladdening the many by his teaching. The reciters of the Paritta are therefore expected to do so with a heart of love and compassion wishing the listeners and others weal and happiness and protection from all harm.

Love (Metta) is an active force. Every act of one who truly loves is done with the pure mind to help , to cheer and to make the paths of others easier, smoother and more adapted to the conquest of sorrow, the winning of the Highest Bliss.

C. A. F. Rhys Davids commenting on amity (Metta) writes: ‘The profession of amity, according to Buddhist doctrine, was no mere matter of pretty speech. It was to accompany and express a psychic suffusion of the hostile man or beast or spirit with benign, fraternal emotion – with Metta. For strong was the conviction, from Sutta and Vinaya, to Buddhaghosa’s Visuddhi Magga, (9) that ‘thoughts are things’, that psychical action, emotional or intellectual, is capable of working like a force among forces. Europe may yet come round further to this Indian attitude. (10)

4. The Power of Sound

It is believed that the vibratory sounds produced by the sonorous and mellifluous recital of the paritta suttas in their Pali verses are soothing to the nerves and induce peace and calm of mind; they also bring about harmony to the physical system.

How can bad influences springing from evil beings be counteracted by recital of Paritta Suttas? Bad influences are the results of evil thinking. They can, therefore, be counteracted by wholesome states of mind. One sure way of inducing a wholesome state of mind is by listening and reflecting on Paritta recitals with intelligence and confidence. So great is the power of concentration that by adverting whole-heartedly to the truth contained in the Paritta recitals one is able to develop a wholesome state of mind.

The recital of Paritta Suttas can also bring material blessings in its wake through the wholesome states of mind induced by concentration and confidence in listening intelligently to the recital. According to the Buddha, right effort is a necessary factor in overcoming suffering. (11) Listening to these recitals in the proper way can also generate energy for the purpose of securing worldly progress while it also secures spiritual progress.

There is no better medicine than truth (Dhamma) for the mental and physical ills which are the causes of all suffering and misfortune. So the recital of Paritta Suttas in as much as they contain the Dhamma, may, when they are listened to in the proper attitude, bring into being wholesome states of mind which conduce to health, material progress and spiritual progress. The effect of Pirit can also transcend distance however great.

It is true that the Buddhists consider the Parittas as a never-failing, potent and purifying force, a super-solvent. However, a question may arise whether recitals from the Book of Protection will, in every case, result in the protection and blessing sought for. In this connection the same reply given by the Venerable Nagasena to King Milinda’s question why the recital of Paritta does not in all cases protect one from death, is worth remembering: ‘Due to three causes recital of paritta may have no effect: Kamma hindrances (Kammavarana); hindrances from defilements (Kilesavarana); lack of faith (asaddhanataya). (12)

Kamma means action and not the result of action; therefore action can be counteracted by other action. Kamma is not something static, but is always changing, i.e. always in the making; that being so, action can be counteracted by other action. Hence bad actions on the part of the hearers of the recital may negative the beneficial effects of the recital.

If the mind of the hearer is contaminated with impure thoughts then also the intended beneficial effects of the recital may not materialize. But however impure the mind of the hearer may be if there is great confidence in the efficacy of the recital then this important factor may help to secure for him the beneficial effects of the recital.

NOTES:

1.For the physical basis of resistance, see The Nature of Disease by J. E. R.
Mc Donagh, F. R. C. S.
2. Aldous Huxley. Ends and Means (London, 1946), p. 259.
3. The state language of Sri Lanka (Ceylon).
4. See below, discourse no. 5.
5. See below Bojjhanga and Girimananda suttas, numbers 12, 13, 14 and 15.
6. Aldoux Huxley, Ends and Means, London 1946, p. 259.
7. Karma in Buddhism means action brought about by volition.
8. C. A. F. Rhys Davids, Dialogues of the Buddha, part 3, p. 186.
9. Chapter ix. p. 313. According to the Sasamalankara quoted in Gray’s Buddhaghosuppatti, p.15, Buddhaghosa was about to write a Commentary on the Paritta, when he was sent to greater work in Ceylon.
10. Dialogues of the Buddha, part 3, p. 185.
11. S., I. 214.
12. Milinda Panha, vol. I., p. 216

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Letter to self

Dear Yen

You need to stop.

2 months worth of walking tipsy turvy, cloudy n muddle headed feeling, heaviness of the head, tiredness, panting, gasping for air, shaking hands,  unsteady jelly legs, eyes that want to close, a body that wants to fall.

Isnt it enough ?

i guess it is not too much to say this:  its only natural that you begin to doubt if the body is healthy and begin to feel negative or have negative thoughts.

even as you did try all, all your v best to remain cool: meditation, breathing,

but the mind was having all sorts of thoughts, one time it was sure n certain i m alright, other times, negative messages came. it is confusing. i m sure.

but stick to these good practices taught to you by the teachers. you brought yourself here, you will definitely b able to bring yourself back to the state of calm and ease. This is life, it swings up n down. Like the stock market, Mingyur Rinpoche says.

i remember then there came a point that you wanted to quit.

just let everything be, you do not have to make sense , you do not have to understand. drop everything. let loose, give yourself more space.

you tried your best, you set a standard. and that is good enough, not the results..at least, you were true to your wishes and you tried for them. thats good enough!

you nudged, you scolded, you chided, you cooed, you softsell, you hardsell, you used all types of examples. you really tried your best.

so

throw them away. all the confusion, all thoughts, all negativity, all positivity. all hopes, all fears, all dreams, all disappointments, all fears, all anticipation. all the love.

you r tired.the soul,  awareness,  body,  everything. and you know it.

just be alone with yourself, rest, eat well, sleep. do all you want.

or just b with the children.

i know you r unhappy.

Part of it stemmed from a disconnection with him. After so long.

Better off being alone.

Since you have tried, to the best of your ability, in any possible conversation to convey your thoughts, just rest now.

dont try, dont challenge, don’t   contest.

its all bad for you.

Stop. Rest. Sleep. And be yourself .

Just BE.

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Peeling Away the Layers

August 26, 2013

Trees Shedding Their Bark
by Madisyn Taylor

Like a tree our growth depends upon our ability to soften, loosen, and shed boundaries and defenses we no longer need.

Trees grow up through their branches and down through their roots into the earth. They also grow wider with each passing year. As they do, they shed the bark that served to protect them but now is no longer big enough to contain them. In the same way, we create boundaries and develop defenses to protect ourselves and then, at a certain point, we outgrow them. If we don’t allow ourselves to shed our protective layer, we can’t expand to our full potential.

Trees need their protective bark to enable the delicate process of growth and renewal to unfold without threat. Likewise, we need our boundaries and defenses so that the more vulnerable parts of ourselves can safely heal and unfold. But our growth also depends upon our ability to soften, loosen, and shed boundaries and defenses we no longer need. It is often the case in life that structures we put in place to help us grow eventually become constricting.

Unlike a tree, we must consciously decide when it’s time to shed our bark and expand our boundaries, so we can move into our next ring of growth. Many spiritual teachers have suggested that our egos don’t disappear so much as they become large enough to hold more than just our small sense of self—the boundary of self widens to contain people and beings other than just “me.” Each time we shed a layer of defensiveness or ease up on a boundary that we no longer need, we metaphorically become bigger people. With this in mind, it is important that we take time to question our boundaries and defenses. While it is essential to set and honor the protective barriers we have put in place, it is equally important that we soften and release them when the time comes. In doing so, we create the space for our next phase of growth.

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How to Quiet the Mind

August 24, 2013

From How to Quiet the Mind On-Line Course
by Gina Lake

The following is an excerpt from the “How to Quiet the Mind” on-line course. If you would like to take the entire course, click here.

The mind is a wonderful tool for thinking, but it has a dark side. There is an aspect of the mind that is not useful but pretends to be useful, which is called the egoic mind. It is the aspect of our mind that chats with us as we move about our day. It is the “voice in our head,” as Eckhart Tolle calls it. Much of the time, this voice seems like our own thoughts and our own voice, and we often express these thoughts (e.g., “I love doing that!” “I can’t wait until tomorrow.” “I wonder what will happen”). At other times, this voice is like the voice of a parent or other authority figure or a friend (e.g., “You should try harder.” “Don’t forget to take your vitamins.” “Wouldn’t it be fun to try that!”). It may even seem evil or mean (e.g., “You never do anything right. You’re worthless. You might as well give up”). We tend to take this voice seriously—we believe it, agree with it, and don’t question it. We believe it because we are programmed, or wired, to believe our own thoughts, regardless of whether they are true and helpful or not.

Not only do we believe these thoughts, but we believe they are “ours.” We identify with them—we feel they reflect who we are. We don’t tend to question our own thoughts, although we readily question other people’s thoughts, especially if those thoughts are different from ours. But when we stop and examine what this mental voice is saying, we discover a lot of contradictory advice, misinformation, prejudices, judgments, and other negativity. This mental voice is often unkind, belittling, fearful, self-doubting, judgmental, complaining, confused, and unhelpful.

It turns out that the voice in our head is not a very good guide to life, and yet we tend to accept what it says and do what it suggests. This voice, in fact, is the cause of human suffering. It fights life, rails against it, and is discontent and afraid. It is the voice of the false self—the ego—not the true self. The thoughts that arise in our mind cause every negative emotion we experience: fear, guilt, anger, jealousy, shame, sadness, resentment, envy, hopelessness, worthlessness, and depression. Without these thoughts, we would live in peace within ourselves and in harmony with others. But you already know this, don’t you?

The funny thing is that we can see the truth about the egoic mind and still be entranced by it, still be mesmerized by it. The programming to pay attention to and believe this aspect of the mind is very strong, and it takes not only seeing the truth about it, but also a practice, as in meditation, of not giving our attention to this mental voice before we gain enough distance from it to experience freedom and the joy and peace of our true self, or Essence, as I like to call it.

The reason for moving out of the egoic mind and into the Now is to experience who we really are. Our thoughts represent the false self, the ego. In fact, all the false self is, is thoughts. There is no substance, no thing, that is the false self—only thoughts. The false self is made up of ideas about yourself: “I’m a woman, I’m a mother, I don’t like traveling, I’m middle-aged, I like blue, I’m married, my father deserted me when I was young, I want to be a novelist, I’m not pretty enough,” and so on. Such ideas create an image and sense of yourself, but you are not an image or even this sense of yourself. Images aren’t real or true. Feelings about yourself aren’t even real or true, since they are based only on thoughts, which aren’t real or true. Who you really are has nothing to do with any of these ideas, feelings about yourself, or stories you tell about yourself.

Your true self is the experience of yourself existing in this moment, free of such constructs, stories, and self-images. To experience your true self, or Essence, you have to move out of your self-images and thoughts about yourself into the experience you are having right here and now, absent of thoughts and self-images, which obscure who you really are. We become entranced by our thoughts and overlook reality—the real experience we are having here and now. The egoic mind, however, doesn’t want you to stop paying attention to it, so it continually tries to engage your attention. It persists in this because this is how the false self is maintained. If you stop paying attention to your thoughts, the false self disappears, and all that’s left is Essence—the real you who is experiencing this moment.

There is something else here besides this character you suppose yourself to be, and that’s what is actually living your life. This that you truly are is looking out of your eyes, hearing sounds, reading and understanding these words, and having every other experience that is part of this very unique and potentially delightful moment. What else are you experiencing besides reading? What colors are you experiencing? What sounds? What sensations? What intuitions? What drives? What insights? What is the Being that you are experiencing right now?

The more we bring our focus into the present moment and onto our actual experience (as opposed to focusing on our thoughts), the more we experience the joy and contentment of the spiritual being that we are. This that we are is having a wonderful time having this adventure we call life. It embraces all of it—every experience. When we come into the Now, we experience the peace, joy, contentment, wisdom, patience, kindness, and strength of our true nature. At our core, we are all loving and joyous beings! It is only identification with the egoic mind that makes us feel and act otherwise. The only thing that interferes with the experience of Essence is absorption in thought. Imagine that! The egoic mind is the only thing that interferes with living more lovingly and more at peace with ourselves and the world. We are all beautiful and amazing creations!

My intention is to help you see the truth about your ego and the egoic mind so that you can more easily and more consistently experience who you really are. Fulfillment and true happiness is found by dropping out of our ego and egoic mind (the false self) into the Now—into the experience of Essence. That is what we are about here. The practices, explorations, video, and guided meditation offered in this lesson are a very important part of this discovery. Please give yourself fully to them this week. Sending all love and blessings…

Definition of Terms

The Now: The Now is defined most simply as the present moment. Of course, the present moment is all that exists, since the past and future are simply thoughts about the past and the future. But because we are programmed to pay attention to our thoughts, we often fail to notice what is actually going on now. Most people live in a mental world. When we drop out of this mental world into the Now, we experience a depth, a richness, and a joy and peace that feel sacred. This is the experience of our true self, or Essence. So, when we talk about being in the Now, we are also talking about this experience of Essence.

The ego: The ego is the idea of who we are (not who we really are) that is created by thoughts about ourselves: “I am fat, tall, a father, a hard worker, a musician, not good enough.” These thoughts create the false self, the sense of who we are as an individual. The ego is also a primitive aspect of the mind related to survival and the storehouse of conditioned ideas and beliefs.

The egoic mind: The egoic mind is the aspect of the mind that reflects and is driven by the ego. It is the voice in our head that chats with us and chatters on. It is the ongoing mental commentary that we think of as our thoughts. The egoic mind is different from the functional or practical aspect of the mind that we use to read, learn, calculate, analyze, and so forth. The functional mind doesn’t speak to us but is a tool we use when engaged in tasks that require us to think.

Conditioning: Our conditioning is comprised of beliefs, opinions, judgments, “shoulds,” and any number of other ideas that belong to our psychological makeup, most of which we acquired from other people, particularly from those who raised us, from our culture, and from what we have experienced and concluded about life. This conditioning affects what we like and don’t like and how we see and react to the world, and we often respond unconsciously to it without realizing we have a choice.

Essence: Essence is who we really are, the divine Self that is living this life through us. It is our essential goodness. We are actually spiritual beings playing at being human beings.

Practices: To be done throughout the week:

1. Practice being aware of your thoughts. Where do thoughts come from? Thoughts arise out of nowhere. Just because a thought is happening in your own head doesn’t mean it is any more true than a thought that arises in someone else’s head. What is arising in your mind right now? Where did it come from? Someone? Something you read? Something you were taught? A TV commercial? Is it true? Is it wise? Is it useful in this moment? Is it helpful or destructive? How necessary are most of your thoughts? Do you need them to function? Do they help you function better or not? How do they make you feel?

2. Notice how uninterested the mind is in the present moment. It’s fascinated with the past and the future, and it likes to evaluate the present, but the mind finds nothing of interest in the actual experience of the moment. Notice this. Notice how persistently your mind makes suggestions for thinking about something or doing something other than just being in the moment and responding to whatever is coming out of the moment. The mind has a job to do, and that job is to keep you out of the Now. How does your mind attempt to keep you out of the moment? Which tactics are the most successful at getting you to turn away from the Now? A memory? A fantasy? A desire? A fear? A should? A judgment? A thought about food, sex, time, imperfection, cleanliness, being successful, or how you look? How long do you actually stay in the Now before you go unconscious and rejoin the egoic mind?

3. Notice how much you like to be involved with the egoic mind and with thoughts about yourself and how your life is going. What wants to think is the ego, the false self; and what is capable of being aware of thoughts and of the desire to think is Essence. Whenever you are having the experience of thinking or wanting to think, it’s also possible to realize that the Noticer (Essence) is perfectly content with just noticing whatever is arising in the moment and responding to that without a lot of thought.

Explorations: Do just one of these explorations, or inquiries, a day.

1. Take some time to examine what you are referring to when you think the thought “I.” Try to find the I you’re referring to when you’re thinking about yourself. Can you locate it anywhere? You may point to your body when you say “I,” but the I isn’t just the body is it? Does the I reside in the body? If it resides in the body, what is it that’s aware of your body and your thoughts and even able to contemplate this question? Could that awareness be who you really are? Is awareness—consciousness—limited to the body or the mind? What if you were that awareness, and you were just pretending to be attached to a particular body-mind for the experience it provides consciousness? Who would you be then?

The real you is not your body, your mind, your personality, or any of the things you call yourself. What are such labels, after all? They are just ideas, concepts. Are you an idea, or are you what is aware of the ideas, labels, thoughts, desires, and feelings of a particular body-mind?

2. What are you aware of right now? If you are aware of a thought, ask: “Who or what is aware of this thought?” If you are aware of a feeling, ask: “Who or what is aware of this feeling?” If you are aware of a sensation, ask: “Who or what is aware of this sensation?” Take sufficient time with each of these questions to allow yourself to experience that which is aware of a thought, feeling, or sensation. The real you is what is aware of every thought, feeling, sound, sensation, intuition, urge, and insight—everything you are aware of. You are that which is experiencing this life, and That has no gender, age, past, future, or any other specific definition, but is pure Awareness, Consciousness. Who is it that is aware of the thoughts that define you? Is it the character you seem to be, or is there something else here that is character-less, that is just purely experiencing life, without ideas about liking or disliking, having or not having, wanting or not wanting?

3. Get a pencil and paper, and jot down a description of the character that your mind describes as you. What characteristics and qualities belong to that character? What does that character look like? How does that character behave? How does it feel much of the time? What are its beliefs? How does it see itself in relationship to others and to the world? This is the character you are playing, but it isn’t who you really are. You are what is able to contemplate this character.

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陈道明语录

中国演员陈道明,出身书香门第,父亲是大学教授。他为爱妻,20年来从不上CCTV;他是个好爸爸,他顾家,厌恶应酬,滴酒不沾;才华横溢,琴棋书画样样精通,更饱读诗书。
【教养和文化是两回事】

教养和文化是两回事,有的人很有文化,但是很没教养,有的人没有什么太高的学历和学识,但仍然很有教养,很有分寸。教养是带有某种天生的素质和一点一滴的积累。
一个人的涵养,不在心平气和时,而是心浮气燥时;

一个人的理性,不在风平浪静时,而是众声喧哗时;

一个人的慈悲,不在居高临下时,而是人微言轻时;

情侣间的尊重,不是闲情逸致时,而是观点相左时;

夫妻间的恩爱,不在花前月下时,而是大难临头时。

【男人最大的时尚】

我喜欢收拾家,这是一种心境,收拾完特干净,会觉得很舒服。我觉得男人最大的时尚就是多在家待一待。其实把所有该回家的人都召回家,这个社会就会安定许多。现在有多少不回家的人,不是因为事业,而是在酒桌上,歌厅里。如果晚上每个家庭的灯都亮了,也是一种时尚。

【好男人的基本标准】

不一定要浪漫,但一定要负责任。不一定要挣大钱,但一定要养家。不一定要事事听父母,但一定要有孝心。

不一定要三从四德,但一定要宠老婆。

不一定要飞黄腾达,但一定要有时间陪家人。

不一定要管孩子,但一定要爱孩子。不一定要大男子主义,但大事发生一定要拿得了主意。

【做人最高境界是节制】 这个世界不是你的世界,不是说你成功了,你想做什么就能做什么。我觉得做人的最高意境是节制,而不是释放,所以我享受这种节制,我觉得这是人生最大的享受,释放是很容易,物质的释放、精神的释放都很容易,但是难的是节制。

【关于朋友】
是朋友,我就有骂他的责任,他也有骂我的责任。在事业上、感情上、人生上就有着互相的义务,每次见面都应该有收获,彼此对对方的存在感到一种愉快,而不是整天厮混在一起。

【责任是男人的脊梁】 责任是男人的脊梁,是男人顶天立地的支柱。说到的事就要做到,揽下来的事就要扛住,做错的事就要承担后果。看一个男人是否成熟,不是看他的年龄有多大,而是要看他能担起多大的责任。越是优秀的男人,承担的责任越大,负责任的范围也越广。即使做不了伟大的男人,也要做一个负责任的男人。