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5yrs 5mths

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皓皓最近爱做手工,每天都会拿废纸造成各种造型。

去学校见老师,老师说,皓皓在学习方面都很ok,只是有时显得没有什么自信。不太敢表达。

老师说,皓皓以前会经常只跟sheadon玩在一块,不过现在已经跟更多人一起玩,在学校,皓皓还会很调皮地逗老师,和老师开玩笑。

想起这也是皓皓会逗mommy的地方:

that day, i was waiting at the somen place for them to come,
Me; haohao how do u feel when u saw Mom?
haohao: i fell in love

另一回:

Me: hao u look so cute today ( n I start rubbing his head)
Yhh: I m not a toy mom I m not a toy

Today is water play day n kids have to bring food
Yhh: I need a lunch bax (box)

We got down the car n I m amused coz I heard a cock go cockatoo
Yhh: mom just keep going keep on going !

然后我们去了普吉岛Point Yamu。

一早起来,搭地铁去机场

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在这里我们四个——一家人一样地处在一起,只是睡觉、早餐、游泳、午餐、游泳、晚餐、睡觉。这就是最幸福的事。

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每天在一起,可以专注于这些最小的事,也就是最重要的了。

 

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这里有很舒服的Play by COMO,其实是Kids Club,各种多姿多彩的玩具、书籍,还有各种活动,比如这天我们大人去spa,你们就在这里设计风筝、放风筝、Design your own Pizza、尝试Thaiboxing

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午后有免费冰棒,这天的口味是香茅青柠IMG_6047

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很喜欢这里的早餐,绿色干净的食品,我们每天早上喝椰水果汁,还有点餐,儿童吃得好好

这里有个Lounge,是我们每天必到的地方,你和姐姐第一次下棋,爱上了。早也下完也下。初步懂得下棋盘算的滋味。

最意想不到的是,皓皓、姐姐都喜欢Recreation Room的Table Soccer,我们就在这里玩

我们玩table soccer的时候,mommy调侃皓皓,说love you deep deep,结果皓皓现在也经常和mommy这么说。

不过皓皓沁芝最爱的应该是游泳。我们的房外就有游泳池,有时裸泳!或者到度假村的游泳池

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距离度假村十分钟外的Beach Club我们去了两天。这里安排了cabana小屋,有很舒服的空间,不过我们大部分时间都在Beach Club的游泳池,皓皓还第一次出海去划独木舟,走在水里看到鱼群漂游,在沙滩上跟mommy一起造“富士山”

午餐时间,怕你们饿了,点了炸鱼和薯条

cabana的后面有个小屋,皓皓说是tree house,给儿童玩乐 的小天地。

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问皓皓,what is your favourite part of the day?他说:“walking in the sea with mommy, build mt fuji with mommy, playing table soccer”

不过皓皓沁芝最爱的就是回来后泡浴缸。

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有两次,mommy和沁芝皓皓一起泡浴缸,一起聊天,就泡上1个小时,我们轮流问问题,看看Who knows better?

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比如,沁芝最爱的水果是榴莲还是草莓、皓皓最爱的恐龙是谁?mommy喜欢做工还是在家?

一般泡完晚餐,皓皓已经很累,常常要在饭桌上倒头大睡

每晚吃phad thai,后来发现这里的芒果汁很棒,再加点,最后是皓皓沁芝最爱的甜点Lod Chang

皓皓可以为了下棋,不吃。

这两个心肝宝贝真的太可爱了

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早上,看到窗口湿了,让孩子体验画在湿了的窗口上的乐趣

亲爱的宝贝,爱你,love you deep deep.

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9years 4months

亲爱的沁芝

你知不知道你出现之后,带给mommy多少?

对mommy来说——其实数不尽。无穷无尽。

比方说,牵你的手,感受你的手心。

比方说,你画的这张画。

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你说:“i know you love nature, so i draw many leaves for you”

那天去学校,Parents Meet Teacher session,听到老师说你,mommy感动哭了。

原来沁芝在学校是这么专心用功的,所以回到家里累了。原来沁芝的努力,mommy好像都没看到。只看到沁芝没有尝试、放弃。

老师说,沁芝好棒,是很好的student leader,很负责任,很用心,很坚持,放进很多的用心要学好。只是————为什么,好像都没在成绩方面,这些努力显现出来?

老师要我们扩大沁芝的vocabulary,让沁芝多看多读多理解。

想到Uncle John见你之后说的,这就是你。

Sensitive emotionally, mentally, physically

Emotionally: when she was young, you scolded her badly and she freezes herself or becomes frozen and gets into that energy shock n goes into her shell each time she is scolded.

Physically: her body has a tendency to go into a weird behaviour

—>Trauma for her

多水多火少金
she is super sensitive

she is a crystal child
she is a fine, clever lady just that she is extremely sensitive to energy
if a person is good or no good, she will know

high potential to become boss or leader
but once you shout at her she will be silent for a long time and keep to herself
she dont tell you

Sometimes even if she is grown up, she will be child like, be a child

She will follow spiritual master

Improvements:

1. Keep energy stable at home- She is extremely sensitive to energy and hp so no wifi, off wifi at night, wifi will make her feel restless
2. Some exercise
3. Diet
Avoid Dairy- her 肠胃敏感, dairy upsets her
NXR + Mineral Essence 5ml + Slique Shake + Life 9 + Probiotics/ Super B to improve bowels (Probiotocs or Max B 1 teaspoon, use plastic spoon/ replace with grounded Super B thereafter): this will help QinZhi a lot
Mag 07- take 2-3, for just 3 weeks, then alternate.

2. Grounding- every 2 weeks to wash the earthing sheet

3. Shower with 3 oils- Idaho Blue Spruce 5ml/Valor 5ml/ Valor II 5ml
4. Qinzhi to apply Valor on heart and stomach/solar plexus 2 times a day
5. DOME everyday, 20min b4 sleep: 3 min on 3 min off
Master Blend for Qinzhi: 10ml Frankinsense + 5ml Idaho Blue Spruce
6. 4 corners of bedroom
-place 4 tinted bottles of himalayan salt (4 tablespoon + Idaho Blue Spruce 10 drops + valor 5 drops + water in 1 L water )
-After first 3 months, change every half yearly

7. 5 sessions of therapy- 2 in first week, the rest in the month, once a week using these oils : Valor ii/valor/ Idaho blue spruce/ white angelica/ frankincense/ highest potential
8. If not well, DOME with 50% lemon + 50% peppermint, a bit of tea tree or thieves on feet 3 times a week

The above should open qinzhi up, her brain will open and focus, she will be more balanced and confident , she needs to ground

Parents must cultivate her mental strength before she goes on to be teenager; let parents be spiritual teacher for her to follow instead of others

然后我们带了沁芝皓皓去普吉岛。这一天早上,沁芝起个大早。班机是830am,所以630am要到机场,沁芝把闹钟调到445am,还说早上3点钟就起床。

沁芝好爱旅行,好爱好爱。

然后我们乘搭地铁去机场。

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这次班机要搭巴士出外,也是体验!

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小瓜在飞机上已经很自在:)

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订了COMO的专车接送,很舒服顺利到达Point Yamu,这是普吉岛的左岸,多年前度假村开业时,有机会来过。之前还有很多元素不完整,现在已经是很成熟。

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沁芝好爱游泳,享受游泳,像是一条鱼那样。虽然不是很会游,但就是喜欢水。沁芝游泳的时候很自由很自在,很开心很开怀。

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所以亲爱的,这就是你的样子。原来原本开心的样子。

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度假村的Kids Club多姿多彩,有各种各样的书类和玩具,第一次让小朋友在这里呆着,然后跑去按摩。

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负责任让你小朋友设计风筝,再带小朋友去草坪放风筝。按摩回来看到这幅画面,我的孩子乖乖的。

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度假村的消闲娱乐处有各种大人可以消磨时光的活动,没有想到我的小朋友居然能够胜任。我们每天起码来报到一次,因为这里的table soccer给我们许多的欢乐。

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一般上,table soccer可以玩上半小时,之后再去下棋。

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晚也下,早也下

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接着回去泡浴缸

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我的沁芝好大了!

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度假村不靠沙滩,但有个距离在10分钟之外的Beach Club。我们乘船外出,看到大海、天地的辽阔和壮大。

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这就是我们一连两天用的cabana,小屋有卧床,后头有浴室。

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后面还有个儿童的Play by COMO treehouse

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沁芝第一次划独木舟,应该可以体验到沧海一粟或是大地大海的辽阔无边吧。

我们在海水浅处散步,看到很多的鱼群。跟沁芝说,海那么大,鱼那么那么小。鱼群还是那样的生活。跟着海跟着浪。跟着大地的呼吸和节奏。这真是一件奇妙的事。

我们是不是也应该这样?

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一般游泳后就午餐。有好味道的炸鱼和薯条!接着再游泳,在沙滩上打造“富士山”

第二天再到beach club,发现“富士山”还在。

沁芝把它归回大地。然后真的是带着不舍的心情,上快艇回返本岛。

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回到度假村,继续玩水!

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早上,玻璃窗冻了一天,有水汽,让沁芝皓皓去玩写玻璃!

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度假村的早餐很丰富,每天都有鲜榨果汁,很棒的水果,订餐后才煮的儿童餐点。

沁芝喜欢这里的自制草莓酱、巧克力🥐,一次可以吃四五个!

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度假村有鲜榨果汁,奶昔等饮料,芒果是沁芝很喜欢的。午后还有免费的冰棒!

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小妞晒得一身古铜色肌肤,这也是沁芝从未看过的自己,以及可以有的样子。真漂亮!

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早上daddy mommy做瑜伽,沁芝皓皓不能参与,在外头等候。好乖巧,两人就画画。

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回家,希望沁芝度过愉快的假期!

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在机场等待登机时,沁芝说想买东西给阿姨。于是去找比较健康的,最好选了香蕉片。

沁芝好有心,😊也像mommy一样,出国就想姨姨婆婆

这一天要出国拍摄,问沁芝可以借她的小行李箱吗?小妞的答复很大人。

亲爱的宝贝,你哪一点都不缺。

可爱、漂亮、善良、烂漫、你很棒。

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What is that in you (ii)

Went to meet up with my friend and spent the night listening to what she has been through the last few weeks.

She poured out her emotions on having to deal with her ex, her daughter and her colleague or subordinate who was diagnosed with the last stage of cancer.

She shared with me how she dealt with everything and teared up.

It was great she shared.

I listened, and with a lot of fear and trepidation. I tried to listen with awareness and at my best, do listening mediation.

That night i felt my arms and legs wrought with fear, and a lot of it.

Like a mini panic attack of sorts, i felt my limbs go weak go numb with lots of needles. I felt emotionally drained.

I couldnt sleep well and woke early this morning. Then i was so tired out I slept in the afternoon and only woke up in the evening finding myself better. Before that my tummy was full and I couldnt digest things.

I had my first meal of the day at 7pm.

And now feeling better, i want to try and make sense of this in the way I could best—writing it out.

This little exercise showed what is that in me.

My fear about about cancer, about life or the death of it.

Recently i had been listening to so many cases of illness, there were Facebook friends who were further away, and there was a contact who shared during lunch that she was down. Then my ex colleague, my friend ‘s subordinate.

I had a rising sense of fear.

It seemed so easy. SO so easy.

What was the universe or life trying to tell me—was this an alert or a wake up call? what was the message behind?

Impermanence was definitely one.

And for me, my fear about illness about life or the death of it. That I couldnt understand or haven’t spent heart trying to make sense of.

Childhood memories of grandfather, who seemed to pass away with liver failure. Then when i was bigger, my maternal grandma who had colon cancer. My mother who passed on when she had a viral attack on the heart in a bad bout of flu. My paternal grandmother who has it in the later stages of her life, but facing it with so much courage and bravery.

I thought of the friends who have recently battled the illness and those who have passed on. Everyone’s story is different.

Why did they get ill?

With limited wisdom and ignorance, and framing in a shorter span of a lifetime, it could be stress, unhappiness and something in life that has gone awry, more like a mental or emotional kind of wrong that has showed up in a different light physically.

In a longer frame, karma? Like time is up.

Something I thought we do not have control over. But as I m writing it now, maybe we do.

Recent stories showed me little bits of why people fell, in life. There was work stress, there was stress for bringing up kids with problems, there was stress with dealing in a boss who sucks and people who have succumbed because mentally they seem to have succumbed to unhealthy thinking or refused to budge or change or breakthrough.

And these are the mirrors in life, that reflect back and make you ponder about yourself. As they say, life is a reflection.

They show you what worked and what did not. What else can be changed and pushed for in my own.

I thought about myself.

I havent really digested my mother’s death, maybe because i didnt know her in life. Her life, her thoughts and emotions.

And her life came and went.

And everything went through but wasn’t experienced.

I did not or have not taken life “seriously”, I did not venture in to think perhaps why there is life, and or —-the purpose of meaning of it.

I ran away and is running away in a “flight” response.

But the recent stories have unsettled me and made me realise that I can no longer use the same response. Or rather, the old response no longer serves me.

I thought about myself, my understanding and of life.

I did not dare and has not face up to the real meaning of life. I was successful in my work and have aced my way through the best educational institutions.

But certainly there was so much more in life I didnt know.

So when I listened to these stories of people getting sick and falling down in life, they were stories and I didnt understand the meaning of it.

And the meaning was to really go for what matters, in my little life, to make sense as much of happenings, to dissolve and resolve unsettled past and emotions, to really spend time on things that matter. Not going after the the name of it.

Its also about conviction, belief and pushing for things you really believe in and expressing your soul and your self, and not being afraid of it.

Its about getting to the root living it rather than living in the surface of it.

And really living it out and up what matters to me.

Its about not just spending time, but devoting the insides of yourself, your time, your thoughts and emotions, your breath your soul—–truly and wholeheartedly to causes that matter.

My family, my kids, my siblings, my dad, my extended family. As for money, I do need it, but i think that, can be taken care of with suitable planning and savings.

Om ma ne pad me hum.