On this day June 11 2013,
My sabbatical starts : )
you did it! you asked for a sabbatical, n there, you have it. 6 whole months, n maybe, MORE.
I know you r a bit apprehensive about how to address your work n supervisors after 6 months.
But, its your life, not theirs. You do not live your life for them, but for yourself. And this has to BE, from now on. You cannot miss this big picture from now.
My advice to you is this.
To spend the next 6 months like never before.
As in, live like never before. in the opposite of how you have –if the past was in fear, with fear/worry/negativity, or whatever, then start from june 11th, effect a change from within, live WITHOUT fear/worry/negativity/whatever.
Do what you like.
Do not hesitate.
Devote yourself to the cause you find most at peace with.
Be completely, YOU.
I know that with these in mind, it will be the most beautiful/ transformative time of your life.
Think good thoughts. Harbour goodness. Extend help. n loving kindness.
Eat organic. Go green. Play with the children. Do all you like. Be well n happy.
I wish you love, joy, happiness.
From: your dearest Yen,
9th June 2013
I received a call from HR about my application , the lady says ” it’s been approved”.
And so there r a few things she has to let me know.
– newspapers will not b sent to my house
– there will b no more dental or medical benefits n I have to surrender my Shenton medical card.
– that $56 will be deducted from my salary because the company gave us a sum of $100 at the beginning of the year to offset medical co pay bills
– that my office email account will cease for 6 mths
And a host of others I can’t really remember .
It seemed as if she was taking away things that belonged to me.
Before I was aware , I was shocked. It hit me before I knew its name. And there was a little feeling of insecurity. I would b without pay, after close to 11 years of drawing a salary.
Will I b alright?
It seemed as if I were losing things, belongings, my hard earned position , achievements, connections, personal satisfaction.
I didn’t think you would understand, I didn’t think your daddy will either, how much of a sacrifice this will be for me. Or how much of a gamble this is for me.
In the one year I m gone off work, I will b replaced. I will lose touch. I will lose connections. I will need to start afresh when I go back, it would b doubly hard.
But wisdom in my heart told me other story.
Those things were not mine to begin with. I just had the privilege n opportunity to possess them. And I think most importantly, I made good of them whilst having them.
Wisdom told me too, that I could take this as an exercise of letting go, n to live simply.after all, Those were extras that I could leave without.
As I carried huaihao in my arms, there was an idea of being stripped to the minimum. This is a v good opportunity to soak myself or address what really matters, my family, my children , my life. And to do what I really want.
And I suddenly feel so good I m stripped bare. To the basics.
To b light n without burden. Like starting anew somewhat. Like a pie of paper.
Most importantly, I have huaihao n qinzhi. They were worth every of the above I had to let go off. As huaihao drank from me, n smiled in his sleep, his cheeks full n rosy, his lips small n pinky, I knew it was going to b one of the best decisions I have made for myself in life.
No pay leave has a nicer name in English , n that is
a sabbatical (from Latin sabbaticus, from Greek sabbatikos, from Hebrew shabbat, i.e., Sabbath, literally a “ceasing”) is a rest from work, or a break, often lasting from two months to a year. The concept of sabbatical has a source in shmita, described several places in the Bible (Leviticus 25, for example, where there is a commandment to desist from working the fields in the seventh year). In the strict sense, therefore, a sabbatical lasts a year.
The main Bible passage for sabbatical concepts is Genesis 2:2-3, in which God rested (literally, “ceased” from his labour) after creating the universe, and it is applied to people (Jew and Gentile, slave and free) and even to beasts of burden in one of the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20:8-11, reaffirmed in Deuteronomy 5:12-15).
In recent times, “sabbatical” has come to mean any extended absence in the career of an individual in order to achieve something. In the modern sense, one takes sabbatical typically to fulfill some goal, e.g., writing a book or travelling extensively for research.
I wanted a year off, but my boss agreed to 6 mths.
As for my goal, it’s to rest. As well, to fulfill my dream/imagination of staying home for my children. To come back to myself.
After having thought about it in my mind for so so long, it has become a dream come true.
its a promise to myself n my dearie qinzhi.
mummy did it.
and so they say,
in pain, u gain
not without reason
its about validating a child。to make her confident n sure n stable,so that she can put forth her next step with ease n confidence.
这一点之前不那么明确，现在我看到了。还有它对我的伤害。原来小时候的我也是这样。i took a long time to realise this.
i knew i was very much loved, i knew my parents’ best options were to put me to nanny, because of life’s realities, but i guess deep down, i wanted more of my parents.
qinzhi must have wanted it juz like the way i did, tat was why she always seemed so happy to see me and to want a hug when she sees me come.
she needs me, i have been trying to gloss over that and to convince myself that she is getting the best care now.
it is this that is giving me stress, because i know deep down, she needs me more than anything else.
and that she needs me, juz to b there, not to do anything for her,but,
juz to b with her.
juz like i wanted it with my parents.
if there is a question of how to heal myself of the lack of confidence in myself, i guess the answer is qinzhi.
juz like when i bring her home n passes the test, she validates me, when i m with her, she always makes me feel gd about myself, as small a thing as tickling her with a song, or making her smile.or teaching her something new.
qinzhi came for me, to address and teach me about honoring myself. in supporting her n nurturing her, in making her feel secure n confident, in teaching her about life,i would in turn be fulfilled.
it is always a two way process
所以2011年，我想更多地投入沁芝，更好地分配工作，尝试work from home。不管是在奶妈家或自己家，我想
我喜欢瑜伽，喜欢专注地做动作，我觉得那种专注是很优美的。慢慢的，跟着肢体拉伸。旁无杂念。its also about giving time to myself.
2010年，一直一直觉得疲累。 是疲惫。 过去十年积累的压力、劳累、疲惫趁着脆弱统统回来。 压抑过的。
要允许自己累。 允许自己时间休息。 充电。
8）the purpose of life
是什么？我获得的答案是: to refine yourself, to be a better person.