A Magical Mind

This is so beautifully written.

DailyOM – Wish

From blowing dandelion seeds into the air to throwing a penny into a fountain, we have all felt inspired to make a wish, to whisper our secret desires into the ears of the universe and wait for signs that we have been heard. Some wishes come true while others remain ethereal visions that either stay with us or fade like a star in the light of morning. Whether they come true or not, wishes are important missives, expressing our heart’s desire as well as our intention to create something new in our lives. When we wish for something, our consciousness opens to receiving it, like a flower unfolding its petals to receive a bee.

There is something innocent and magical about making a wish, something that recalls the energy of childhood. Wishing is not about formulating a plan and following it step by step to attain a goal, which is the realm of adulthood. Wishing is more like a playful volley across the universe, an invitation to play. Waiting for the response is an integral part of the process. Wishing inspires an innocent opening to the possibility of magic as we wait to see if the invisible realm will bring our wish to life. This opening is a beautiful gesture in and of itself, regardless of the outcome. We place ourselves in a magical mind, and this mind is arguably as wonderful as the fulfillment of our wish itself.

In our straightforward, action-oriented society, we may tend to dismiss the power of this seemingly passive process, yet the power of a wish is well known, hence the cautionary phrase, “Be careful what you wish for.” If you have given up wishing in favor of more adult pursuits, you might want to bring its magic back into your life. The next time you see the first star of the evening, or find yourself in front of a birthday cake covered in flaming candles, give yourself the gift of the magical realm that you knew so well as a child—close your eyes, open your mind, and make your wish.

Simple exercise to increase well being

by  Dr. Martin Seligman, founding father of Positive Psychology

Close your eyes. Call up the face of someone still alive who years ago did something or said something that changed your life for the better. Someone who you never properly thanked; someone you could meet face-to-face next week. Got a face?

Gratitude can make your life happier and more satisfying. When we feel gratitude, we benefit from the pleasant memory of a positive event in our life. Also, when we express our gratitude to others, we strengthen our relationship with them. But sometimes our thank you is said so casually or quickly that it is nearly meaningless. In this exercise … you will have the opportunity to experience what it is like to express your gratitude in a thoughtful, purposeful manner.

Your task is to write a letter of gratitude to this individual and deliver it in person. The letter should be concrete and about three hundred words: be specific about what she did for you and how it affected your life. Let her know what you are doing now, and mention how you often remember what she did. Make it sing! Once you have written the testimonial, call the person and tell her you’d like to visit her, but be vague about the purpose of the meeting; this exercise is much more fun when it is a surprise. When you meet her, take your time reading your letter.

Every night for the next week, set aside ten minutes before you go to sleep. Write down three things that went well today and why they went well. You may use a journal or your computer to write about the events, but it is important that you have a physical record of what you wrote. The three things need not be earthshaking in importance (“My husband picked up my favorite ice cream for dessert on the way home from work today”), but they can be important (“My sister just gave birth to a healthy baby boy”).

Next to each positive event, answer the question “Why did this happen?” For example, if you wrote that your husband picked up ice cream, write “because my husband is really thoughtful sometimes” or “because I remembered to call him from work and remind him to stop by the grocery store.” Or if you wrote, “My sister just gave birth to a healthy baby boy,” you might pick as the cause … “She did everything right during her pregnancy.”

Writing about why the positive events in your life happened may seem awkward at first, but please stick with it for one week. It will get easier.

13 months

给皓皓买新年新衣
是一种很美好的经验
因为是第一次逛小男孩的衣服
觉得特别花心思和时间
我很用心
新的事情
我很享受

现在周末，皓皓和沁芝就在pasir ris，好多人疼。

皓皓和阿姨感情很好，晚上睡觉喜欢阿姨dada，碰到被daddy打打，还会向阿姨撒娇要抱抱。皓皓和ah boon舅舅也很好。这天他流鼻涕，婆婆用湿棉花擦拭，他居然肯，但我们用毛巾和纸巾，他就立刻转头过去。

这一天，带皓皓去方林熟食中心，我吃粥他也吃

daddy吃油条他也吃

他吃了油条，便不要粥。还会笑一个很得意的笑。

最近皓皓走得已经很文档，28日这一天，沁芝想出去gaigai，我们让皓皓在外头走，就在wheelock： ）

之后让他在muji躺bean bag，都是全新体验。看着皓皓一步一步走来，感觉很奇特，我是一路跟着他的人，看他多会一样，很有满足感，很有成就感。比自己的成就还要满足还要骄傲。

这一天，daddy把皓皓背在颈项上

我看着，觉得那好像是他的一个小小心愿。

早上，我吃面包皓皓跟着吃，不给他他便大哭，给他了，便笑得合不拢嘴，露出两颗兔牙，可爱极了。他已经习惯自己拿奶瓶。坐在high chair时，居然还这样把脚放上来。

现在皓皓已经懂得许多东西，有时test他，好像在看表演一样。

问他储藏室、冰箱、电饭锅、烘干机、餐桌、椅子、水缸、锁匙他都会，再让他fly kiss，他就把手放在嘴唇上，他会拍拍手，会恭喜恭喜。问他ai jiak mai（要吃吗）？他会说：ai（要）

不要吃了就摇头。

真的很可爱。

皓皓的第一个农历新年。午间，我们到pasir ris午餐。皓皓有机会尝尝发糕、吃拜拜的炸芋头、猪肚汤。
他看高挂的黄梨，一直看一直看，双手一直挥舞，很开心！

除夕夜
我们的年夜饭在公公家吃
庚延舅舅买了鱼生，我们一起捞，皓皓吃着火锅

皓皓还帮忙拆芦柑的塑胶

皓皓看到黄梨饼会一直看指着要吃，让他玩，以为他打不开盒子。怎么知道他打开了

皓皓收到的另一个大红包，是阿妹阿姨给的生日红包。以前她也在沁芝一岁生日时，包了大红包给沁芝

大年初一，皓皓的第一个农历新年。早上起来，皓皓看到芝芝，马上凑过来亲亲。好爱这样的画面

然后给他穿上新衣
给他红包

到公公家拜年，阿妹阿姨找出庚延舅舅小时候的照片，还真像

这一天，阿xiong舅舅生日，皓皓穿上davina姐姐买的新衣，很开心。他看到高挂的黄梨，阿hui阿姨说是ong lai，他马上学会ong lai。

ah seng舅舅说，皓皓这一天跑来跑去，完全不怕人。任谁抱都行。看到大家那么疼，好开心！

皓皓过年，什么都吃，除了发糕，肉干、鱿鱼、黄梨挞都来者不拒。他已经可以吃完一个four leaf的蒸糕。这天早上，笑那么甜，就是因为有的吃。

这一天，带皓皓去舅公家拜年。皓皓第一次去，没有陌生感，到处趴趴走，还学爬楼梯！

阿姨说，看到皓皓爬床，于是拍手大声说：gao ah。不料皓皓跟着做，有样学样！

这几天不舒服，劳累，给皓皓喂奶的时候最舒服。看皓皓笑最舒服。跟皓皓睡最舒服。咳嗽了，教他dada我拍拍我的胸膛，他也会。看他走路最舒服，不大稳当的是脚，稳当的是心。宝贝，你要记得了。你曾经如此坚定！

Daddy制作的这支短片，是mommy的解药。好累好像要倒下了，看到了皓皓可爱的走路模样，我便好了

姐姐生日，皓皓初次看到蛋糕，皓皓1岁时，我们居然没有庆祝，难怪皓皓这一天这样的表情。

很多小朋友1岁都是一个里程碑，皓皓当然也是。但这样的里程碑似乎不需要一个蛋糕一根蜡烛，它远远超过了。

姐姐生日，我们去满福苑，皓皓大吃一番，比姐姐更爱吃。其实更多的是谢谢这些围绕沁芝皓皓，关心爱护沁芝皓皓的人。

Forget

i told yen about how unprepared i was when i conceived qinzhi

and how that must have translated into any sense of not being wanted for the baby in the womb

i told her the me then was not matured enough, nor was i wise enough to know what to do?

now that i have the wisdom, i m not that hard on myself, although i felt a sense of helplessness. while i recognised that i m someone with low self esteem, i was determined non of my children would follow in my footsteps. but unwittingly, the manner in which i dealt with my first pregnancy, gave qinzhi a sort of a lack.

and it translated into a low self confidence.

but yen said, now that u are aware, things will change, awareness is like a breakthrough of something, everything that was held together, now changes, it is not too late.

things will change.

forget about the helpless feeling, you shouldn’t cling on to it.

forget about it and let it go.

it is so lovely to hear this.

hear hope.

hear wisdom.

yes, there is no need at all, to feel anything. let it go with awareness n focus on making good.

I can always stop when I WANT

Art is so empowering
I always get the answers I need in the middle of it.

I haven’t met yen in a while n I was telling her about how busy I have been. Being everywhere at the same time attending to different things.

Then yen said: have u painted a bridge before?

I thought, how interesting n I started.

I thought about a Facebook post I saw. It’s a bridge in Korea where pple go to in despair, pple want to jump down from here.

But I think Hyundai or Samsung did up the bridge with notes telling of hope, courage n light.

And the bridge of death became a bridge of life.

I got the inspiration n started painting my way.

I chose black n brown n bold strokes for a wide open solid bridge.

Then I painted trees, bottles of water, books n cups to denote nature, healing things, knowledge/writing n leisure respectively.

These r the things that enrich me n can b found on either side of the bridge.

I painted the bridge golden for that is the golden path I m walking on. I hope every step is with awareness n light.

The colour is stronger towards the end to signify a maturity.

The wisdom of painting is revealed as I realise that So long as I STOP
To look at everything on the bridge around me, n to appreciate them, I can b enriched n fulfilled along the way.

I can always pick up a book, a cuppa, I CAN ALWAYS stop n feel the wind, go for a holiday WHENEVER I want.

I have the power.

And so I got the answer, I know what to do now .

Then yen said: the next step is to draw yourself on the bridge. Are u at the beginning, middle or end?

I drew myself a ball of light at the beginning.

I feel that my spirit is just blossoming n just like an embryo at the premature stage even though my flesh is old.

It feels like I have just started to know myself .

Yes it feels this way.

And I m a ball of light, porous n open, much like I m blended into nature n u can’t extract me out of nature, allowing the winds to go through me.

I m an open system . I open myself up n allow myself to experience .

I feel this way.

And I love the buoyancy gentle flowing of the ball, not like a jutty feeling of energies . It reminds me if the jellyfish in the aquarium, there is a lot of smoothness , gentleness n beauty in the movement. There’s speed in slowness n slowness in speed. It’s controlled n at ease.

It’s awareness.

And I got myself again

I want to walk n work this way.

A Gentle flowing nothing can disrupt.

I so love art!

5 years

我的宝贝，生日快乐！

沁芝5岁了！

好像还是昨天，mommy早上5时多被湿湿的感觉弄醒，好像还是昨天，第一次感觉婴儿吮吸的力道。好像还是昨天，却已经过了很多的时间，很多的昨天和今天。

沁芝已经是小妞了。小姐了。

迈向5岁的时候，mommy也很努力记录沁芝的一切。虽然上班了，忙碌了，但我坚持这一点一滴的记录。对你和皓皓来说，你们长大以后，这些就是最宝贵的一切。

沁芝喜欢凑过来，靠近我，皓皓看了也跟着。mommy好喜欢两个宝贝这么靠我。

隔一天，婆婆自己跑来，说要带皓皓去，让做了几天午班、早班的daddy隔天可以休息。
沁芝在婆婆离开时大哭
紧抓婆婆不放，怎么分也不开
婆婆走后沁芝狂哭大哭大闹失控
mommy看了，觉得五味杂陈。就像小时候的我吧，也不想被他们放下。很怕失去他们。
我让沁芝哭，把所有所有的愤慨哭出来，跟着她陪着她抱着她
她需要哭
她需要我的道歉我的爱。
以前没有做好准备怀孕，怀孕也不知所措，生下来了完全不知怎么一回事。马上有婆婆阿姨照料一切。
我的所有慌乱、不知如何是好的这一切，孩子应该感觉到了。
也许上述种种，被她解析为是不爱
其实不是
是我被caught offguard
但另一边，奶妈对她是无条件无私的爱
所以沁芝这么看重。
沁芝，我的宝贝，对不起。请你原谅。但这也不是mommy故意的。
是mommy在那个年龄和那个当下没有智慧、不够智慧，不懂得怎么处理也不懂得爱。连自己应该怎么爱自己也不知道。所以，请你原谅我。

农历新年，第一次除夕在pasir ris吃午餐。沁芝吃红龟粿

过后沁芝到公公家捞鱼生，她已经能自己拿筷子捞

mommy小时候，我的mommy会给我准备新衣，让我新新的过新年，现在我也这么让孩子穿新衣。特地给沁芝皓皓穿新衣。沁芝穿上，好美！

初一，让沁芝跟daddy mommy拜年

沁芝穿上mommy买的裙，拿着包包好美

去阿祖家拜年，阿祖说沁芝很乖，因为她上厕所，沁芝看到了，会叫她慢慢走要小心。mommy听了，好骄傲。

初二，换上dandelyn姐姐买的旗袍。参加ah xiong舅舅的生日聚会

农历初六，带沁芝皓皓去春到河畔，那些虽然没有什么特别的，但就是让孩子感受一下春的脚步，吹春的风，享受春的阳光。

过后经过儿童游乐场。mommy想起小时候，也曾在这样的游乐场玩。带沁芝来，真的没有想到她会被吸引，也想玩，daddy很宠爱沁芝，$20玩3个游戏，也不眨眼。

但沁芝真的让人很惊讶，她居然敢玩水上bubble，真的没有料到！过后还玩slide，好高，但小妮子也不怕！沁芝不怕了，突破自己，好棒！mommy觉得好骄傲。好骄傲。

于是我知道，父母最大的安慰，就是子女可以克服自己。战胜自己。尝试新的事物，打开自己的世界。放开自己。

好喜欢沁芝抱着皓皓，皓皓抱着沁芝的样子。

这一天，皓皓沁芝去舅公家拜年。沁芝来过两回，在这里玩球。这次也不例外，在泳池旁走来走去，一粒球，却能玩上半天。小孩子就是有这样的本事。那是因为天真。

很神奇。

星期天，带沁芝回来。daddy忍不住一直往她脸蛋上亲亲，唱歌给她听。

然后我们去准备沁芝生日派对蛋糕。让沁芝选。

回家了，小妮子抹身后好香。她一边喝miso一边让我拍，还要我多拍。好美啊！

这两天，皓皓在pasir ris，有时间好好看沁芝。好好欣赏她的笑她美丽的大眼睛。
这一天，mommy第一次让daddy和沁芝单独过一个下午。让daddy给沁芝洗澡。
之前mommy说，要daddy给沁芝洗澡的时候，沁芝会推搪说，怕daddy看到她的妹妹、neh neh pok，我快笑翻了。这一天，我决定上班去，让父女俩共度珍贵的时光。
于是，这么写在白板上。我画了很多心。后来沁芝回来，回复了我，画了棒棒糖给我。daddy第一时间让我看。我的眼泪都要飙出来。还有，沁芝这么久以后终于给daddy冲凉了！

晚上，daddy晚班。沁芝问，daddy为什么要去上班？
和沁芝一块睡，我发冷，小妮子赶快起来掀被，帮我盖上。我的宝贝！

你还记得吗？daddy是这样帮你刷牙的

距离沁芝生日还有2天
我们一起准备迎接她的5岁生日
一起给她的同学做卡片

沁芝做给朋友，mommy做给沁芝。

这一天ah tin阿姨准备了蛋糕，要给沁芝吹蜡烛。

小妞当然很高兴。

这

几天mommy咳嗽，沁芝看了有些害怕，晚上在床上咳嗽，沁芝还会过来dada mommy。

昨天她大便，给她擦屁股，我说，沁芝会不会帮mommy这样做？她说不会。我问，那为什么mommy会呢？

“因为你是我的mommy嘛”

然后我们又继续准备沁芝的礼物，小妞边准备边唱歌，好开心！她为自己的生日好开心。如此开心了几天，我也好开心！

 

 

沁芝生日这一天，daddy mommy带着蛋糕和小礼物去学校，沁芝好开心，合不拢嘴。有小朋友围在一起唱生日歌，还有韩国同学的韩语版，mommy好开心，沁芝获得这样纯真的祝福。

小时候，我的爸爸也是这么让我把蛋糕带去学校的，而且每年的生日蛋糕，都美美大大的。看到daddy怎么疼爱沁芝和重视她的生日，我也知道了我的爸爸是怎么重视我的。

好喜欢蜡烛映红了沁芝小小的脸蛋。

很温暖，很光亮。

Davina姐姐的生日祝贺

沁芝的瑜伽老师也祝福她

沁芝下课后，带沁芝去小逛，她要daddy带她去吃大餐，我们这么做了。不外希望小妞开心。

晚上，给沁芝唱生日歌，沁芝躺在床上，用手遮住眼睛。我问她怎么了？

是哭了？她摇摇头。

问她是感动了吗？她笑笑说，是！

亲爱的，但愿蜡烛的温暖和光亮伴随你，总是温暖，总是充满智慧的力量。

may u b well n happy always!

马年1

以前不懂珍惜
现在觉得好好看！
我居然还和财神爷握手！

Eating thoughts