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Tsoknyi Rinpoche’s Fully Being Retreat 23-25 Nov 2019

So many precious teachings shared by Tsoknyi Rinpoche in the last few days.

  1. Respect complexity with simplicity at heart

Find unconditional happiness that is simple, With that simplicity we engage world, so you actually observe the dance between simplicity and complexity.

2. Recognize our innate birth right human qualities 

With mindful awareness to nurture fully then we can be fully be/being.

We are faced with human nature n human conditions, the latter we can transform to nurture our beautiful human nature.

3. Blockages

See the blockages? Don’t need to feel bad we all have blockages 

We have so many beautiful qualities that we r not nurturing nourishing because difficult human conditions leave imprints on us, these imprints are healthy and unhealthy. 

Through awareness of feelings we can know them better:

Are these imprints in our feeling world or thinking mind? 

Human nature is beautiful n has a lot of quality, awakening enlightened quality. But humans need to live in conditions – like society education upbringing. Human conditions is like stock market that goes up n downs n leave imprints.

Unhealthy imprints we transform. We transform together. 

How do we know imprints is healthy or unhealthy?

Eg fear has healthy and unhealthy fear

Every learning is imprint, there are learned habitual patterns n karmic imprints. 

Identify healthy fear and unhealthy fear ?

Do you see we have this ability – oh this is my imprint oh is this fact 

Can you differentiate that?

Yes you have ability but r u practicing that? 

We have ability but most of time we don’t practice- why don’t we see what is missing?

We need to practice! We need awareness, Need Conscious awareness !

4. Imprints in the subtle body 

Ups n downs of human conditions give imprints, imprints gives us problems in life n we see things distorted 

So we need to Transform our distorted glass to see the fact

See through. Then, Love comes without external reasons because u see truth n power of truth. Then there is  Joy n openness, awareness n stillness, inner peace simplicity. 

Transform distorted unhealthy imprints, because even if you don’t know, they r changing your life!

Be well inwardly, Become a small hero be internally healthy

Subtle body practices is v impt  in this age. You have a right to feel well —-it’s called birthright 

When outside go up n down and u still feel well

It’s balance of subtle body- nadi bindu prana

So feel ok naturally internally , that’s Inner wealth, Inner well being, Inner strength. 

Reconnect rejuvenate you inner body subtle health

Enquire

Investigate 

Analyze

Problem is not knowing but something else is blocking. Many years ago we don’t know so we make mistakes. But now we know but cannot practice—-because Something else is blocking

We must be aware of blockages n transform that so we can have better life

It’s not about logical facts it’s abt smtg else, this smtg else is happening blocking you.

Circumstance sin life (like bridge) triggered u, so you already have smtg else inside you. Why did the circumstance (bridge) trigger not another but trigger me? Do u blame the circumstance (bridge)?

We r all human but have different conditions. 

Scan yourself internally 

Realize you have this imprint – such as fear of height that you have but another don’t have

Because Human conditions differ 

Imprint is chop not healed , like wounds or beautiful monsters

Like cause, Imprint triggered and activated and goes one more time

Now practice and meditation n mindful awareness comes!

We need this experience ! If not how to transform our imprint?

At first we can’t control but slowly with practice we can heal n slowly heal n get lesser

After activation normally we react to it we believe it

Thru practice n meditation n awareness, instead of joining them u find some other place to be

It’s just leftover residue 

Not the situation not actual fact

Keep training that way 

Try not reacting

When we not reacting we will not reinforce

Why imprint start to transform?

Because we not reinforcing

Why we r lot reinforcing 

Because we not reacting not feeding it

How not to react – aware of it feel it

Noticing it

Cultivate some other goodness

Then the distorted condition will open up 

Even when u r sleepy u feel openness warm heart conscious mindful awareness 

Once I lose awareness U fall into unconsciousness n cannot liberate

Grounded 

Mind in a grounded body

Emotion is reaction

Stop thinking

Because Thinking will explain 

Mind always want to make conclusion to feeling

5. Practice

Just feel

Just aware of what you can be aware of

No thinking

Just noticing

Don’t push away

Pushing away is unkind

Any that arise let it b

If not don’t look for it

Relax

Event is gone 

You feel pain anxiety etc but it’s not true

It is real but not true

Welcome everything 

Practice this again n again

One day u will see v clearly human nature n human conditions 

6. Helping Another

If u want to help your difficult child don’t lecture feel the pain with him together

Stay there

They don’t want your solution

They know but cannot do it

7. Practice

Just drop into body

If u keep thinking the same u r not thinking new thoughts

Y do thoughts arise?

Every thought has a teabag imprint emotional teabag

To release the thought go back to teabag the emotional blockage aware of that thought feel that thought n communicate to that thought n release that understanding let it go nicely

Sometime U need to forgive n accept

Many ways to communicate 

8 . Can we change imprint ?

  1. Acknowledge emotion and learned habitual patterns. Acknowledge no need to scared- that imprint is not you – Buddha nature is u intelligent is u compassionate is you. It’s just part of me but not who I m . Who I m? I m emptiness luminosity you r Buddha nature 
  2. Transform
  3. Handshake practice- even if we know bridge is safe cognitive mind understand but what abt feeling ?feeling need to know what mind feels otherwise still split – need good connection between mind n feeling. Mind n feeling need to communicate come together and make friends to transform . Otherwise it’s just understanding not transforming 

Day 2 Prana or lung or Qi related teachings

Subtle body consists –

Nadi

Prana

Bindu

Lung 

Is Source or cause Of Internal movements n external movements 

Drives thought emotion blood flow

When this lung is distorted many unhappy 

Lung moves thru channels with right speed all well

If too fast, creates certain feelings

When lung too slow or low,

Need balance 

Understanding lung v impt

Nature of lung is v fine

Almost invisible but impact great on our lives 

We can feel it’s impact on nadi we feel in our nerves

See effect of Qi or lung

Qi effects mind

Mind effects Qi

Almost together 

Qi rest in dantian 

Qi rises up because of worry a lot of external conditions 

Mind active Qi comes

Qi comes horse comes Qi down horse goes

Mind active with hope n fear

From childhood we disturb our lung

One day Qi lost its root n place n always stays up head n in different channels n cause different emotions esp restlessness anxious panic 

—— massage relax holidays

Qi is doing all the work

Qi creates things n keeps moving

Qi gets wrong habit of loving

Lung is not listening to mind anymore

There’s a way to calm down

Lung- symptom of it is disturb stillness keeps wanting to move 

Mind n Lung not cooperating

Used to listen to mind

Now it’s lung disorder 

When in lung disorder or distorted lung

Whole perception feels rushed

Speedy lung Shapes perception 

Feel head hot just keep moving mouth dry eyes hot 

Lung just keeps moving

Mind says smtg but feeling not like that

Problem when mind is subdued by lung n feels busy n restlessness 

So aware

Differentiate

Restlessness is not mind is the lung

Have to bring Qi down to develop stillness 

Bring Qi to home- redirect!

Vase breathing can help!

Upper belly

Lower belly 

There r 3 types of speed-

1.Physical

2.Subtle body

3.Cognitive mind speed

Mind fast is good coz u r alert n  understand quickly it should b like that 

but not fast in distorted way

Distorted Qi don’t want to stay one place for three hours

Qi influence thought

We get burnt out because we r beaten by this Qi

Qi says not this one but next one

Qi says The right one is the next one

No fully being

Find speed of physical body

Mind clear n alert

Lung peaceful 

So your body can do things quickly mind fast n alert but lung is low is calm n relaxed 

Calm has nothing to do with physical it’s energy 

Stress comes fr thought emotion n fast moving Qi

When Relax – release thought emotion 

Smile at Qi

Inner beauty 

Bring alignment 

Bindu is home of clarity, guts or courage, love, joy, Humour

When bindu not circulating properly, u feel fear uncertain foggy n can’t find any reason

Taken over by unhealthy distorted fear

2 kinds of love -essence love n expression love

We r caught up with expression love or conditional love ie because of smtg

Expression love kills essence love

If u follow this ( conditions) you will lose your love 

When bindu is moving properly thru u it feels like I m okay feel ok I want to give my okayness

Without this there’s a hollow empty feeling

When u have a hollow things hit uneasily

Advertisements etc

So connect with essence love bindu

Without losing can practice expression love

Essence love is unconditional love

Wellbeing or feeling good Without reason

Conditional love will change because these external conditions expression love is based reliant on will change

Essence love – Without reason makes you attractive 

Feel clarity joy humour 

Talk to your blockage

When one doesn’t wake up for work, it is because one is discouraged n doesn’t see value in oneself 

Human conditions can change it’s not permanent 

Try to smile to the pain

Just smile

Don’t judge it

When u see the pain It means u r coming closer to the beautiful monster so lean on it 

hug it 

Pain has an end to it

After a while  it will open up n go away

It will exhaust 

Just wait 

Waiting is also kindness 

Say sorry – sorry u have to go thru this way

Communicate with pain

Thank you I have learnt from you 

Thank your beautiful monsters because I have learnt a lot from them

Day 3 Cultivate

Without subtle body practice can’t experience clarity as we r disturbed by imprints Qi imbalance lack of essence love 

Now I know what to cultivate

If u practice u have gd tools 

If u practice u can transform 

Everyday I put effort to cultivate 

Essence love gives u deep calm guts about who u really r

That as a ground to practice clarity

Look at our imprints 

Bring down lung into balance 

Connect with Essence love 

Cultivate bodhicitta

Wisdom

Imprints are leftover residue 

Triggered or activated by similar experience 

Liberate by being kind n talking to imprint n feelings

Can differentiate Voice from cognitive mind vs voice fr feeling world

Body needs to hear you talk to it

It’s an expression of love

Beautiful monsters are shaping our lives n we r reacting subconsciously 

With conscious practice we can change them

A lot of fun

Discover n understanding your loved ones 

Know that beautiful monster is but a residue 

Have awareness 

Persist n communicate with beautiful monster 

Bring Qi to balance 

Hollow is a a problem 

Sophisticated modern life creates a lot of hollow but if u connect w essence love hollow goes away n become small bodhisottva

Transmit to children 

N nourish their essence love

Help them to nourish 

Clarity 

Knowing thinking (mind ) awareness clarity 

Clarity is uniqueness of mind also called luminosity 

Healthy mind – clear,  thought free , nowness 

Keep calmness n alert- without sinking 

Open up our five senses 

Knowing everything ewww

Know but not grasping or fixated 

Shamatha without object or support

Free means fearless

Means no blockages

When close everything u r making war

2nd shamatha practice is with object

Intentionally u focus on flower 

Aware n knowing n b with flower

People moving smell etc all don’t disturb u

Gentle concentration 

In order to transform we have to repeat 

Dropping exercise

Just drop la

It’s the beginning of practice before handshake 

There r many Things we can drop but lack of mindfulness we keep holding in our being

So be aware n drop or with mindful awareness we let it go

Then relax

For strong emotions feel n slowly it opens up n heals

Some pockets of stress high lung drop 

Be carefree inside 

We have this capability but we forget so we dropping consciously as a practice but not from pressure 

Find freedom in your body

Drop 

Just free be with that openness

Say nice words

Trigger goodness 

Bringing Qi home

  • awareness 
  • Breath 
  • Bindu connected with clarity love bliss courage humour when bindu goes thru u have these qualities n basis of healthy subtle body—-loving kindness —- bodhicitta ——— open heart 
  • we r aware of our mind n Clarity  

Practice 45 min evyday

  1. drop
  2. Take refuge – visualize Buddha or thousands of Buddhas in front of you
  3. Chant – May I be enlightened so that I can help myself and others
  4. Visualization with mantra- guanyin, Tara, ask for blessings for yourself for all light goes infinity while chanting . 1 Mala. 
  5. Buddha light infiltrate your being. Mingling your mind with Buddha 
  6. Meditation 
  7. Dedicate 

Handshake practice – as u need it

Please live healthy happy don’t fight in the family 

Not worth it

Life is more beautiful than fighting

While you are together love each other

Even if you can’t live don’t hurt

Things can change nothing is permanent 

Change wrong cause n conditions

Bring good cause n conditions 

Develop appreciation 

Lack of appreciation gives anxiety 

Happy with what I have – don’t forget the gd you have n keep looking 

Pls help your family

First step is help your family

Even if u love each other 

There r imprints so Release them n transform them

First, internal home should b healthy

Then external home

Dedicate your goodness your dharma

Keep the love even if some of your family r gone

Let them go n dedicate your goodness to them

They would like to see you happy  

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6 Yrs 10 Mths

亲爱的皓皓,mommy只能用神奇来形容你。

You r nothing short of amazing. 就像你眼睛你的脸蛋你的笑容那样————是光是亮。

你说的话也好像是————光和亮。比如某天我们在床上这么聊。

mommy总是从你的身上学到许多。

比如有一次,我们提到成人无法控制自己的情绪。你的反应很快,马上说,the amydgala has been activated!而且还会纠正我amydgala的读音。amydgala是大脑里控制情绪的操作中心。

另一次,等daddy来按摩,等得不耐烦。说:“is he wearing a princess gown or a tutu?”

最近皓皓喜欢给mommy情书,总是爱妈妈、爱你、谢谢妈妈爱我的一类话。mommy好像都没有放在心上。

现在这么写道,才知道这是孩子心里的一把声音,通过手绘画出来,通过身体不同的组织协调,转换成这一字一句。

我怎么能不感恩,不开心?

都是皓皓亲手制作的。虽然使用再循环纸张,但是都是皓皓的一颗心。怎么能拿别人的一颗心开玩笑?

谢谢皓皓教我。

皓皓非常喜欢美术。很向往Teacher Yen的课,Yen说我就是皓皓的支柱。总是在他的作品中,有我。我听了才知道原来我对皓皓来说那么的重要。

我想我们都无法了解,我们对另一个人的意义。我们无法去明白我们可以造成的伤害或打击。或者能够给的力量。

Yen说皓皓的画很advanced。学校的老师也这么说,说皓皓的作品好好,好棒,看着都是享受。

我都不懂。怎么搞。皓皓对不起。mommy会学!

这就是皓皓的超人制作!

皓皓今年毕业了。老师让皓皓当上valedictorian,致辞。皓皓一天以内就学会。

皓皓说有点小紧张,但是mommy跟皓皓解释,致辞最重要的目的并不是说的好不好,而是————要表达对老师的写意。皓皓明白了以后,很愿意去练习,并且也很快上手。

毕业当天,我们起个大早。看到宝贝在台上致辞,满心的感动和喜悦,好骄傲。我的皓皓好棒。

谢谢皓皓让mommy体验到这样的情绪。

皓皓说,离开kbk让他很难过。因为再也看不到好朋友sheldon和老师。他不要。某一天早上,他哭了。说不要离开可能看kbk。跟皓皓解释,要懂得投入过程,享受过程,因为总有要离开的时候。

下面是皓皓平日在学校的作业以及老师的评语。皓皓真的好有智慧,有一堂课,要学生说出,如果有三个愿望,会许愿什么?

皓皓将第一个愿望这么许: i wish for good health and wisdom, i wish jiejie will be good to me, i wish the haze will go away!

皓皓的作业总是融入生活经验,比如花了点点和电电的故事之后,也画入自己的经验,画了坐公公的车上学。

皓皓说想自己制作太阳能移动汽车,所以去找了这样的一个workshop让皓皓上。

亲爱的宝贝,看着你的作业,知道你4年里学习到许多。太了不起了。

另一天,当上小鱼,表演。

一天,皓皓不需要上学。带皓皓去date,皓皓说想吃pancake,我们就去。忍不住买了lego给皓皓,由皓皓选,然后他很快就完成作品。

这一天我们一同去买制服。皓皓长大了。

酒店送来圣诞蛋糕。宝贝开心。mommy也开心。

学校假期一开始,K2的同学相聚,也就是这张照之后不久,皓皓不一小心跌倒了。撞伤耳朵擦伤头皮。

mommy心急得不知如何是好。

从全身上下搜索出可以帮助你的可能性。你说:“mom,i don’t mean it, but i cant rewind back”

小小年纪已经懂得这样的概念。

但是mommy对皓皓说,我们其实可以扭转过去。带皓皓回到发生的时候,让皓皓做出另一个选择。破了那个时候的气场。

皓皓去看医生后,马上回家用精油疗愈。完后去帮阿姨庆祝生日。

学校假期的第一天,皓皓说想吃麦当劳,mommy也说好啊!于是我们去了。但是好像吃不饱,所以上课不能专心,而且喊肚子痛。皓皓这一天一直嚷嚷肚子不舒服,还在巴士上睡了一觉。回到家还说肚子痛肚子痛,晚上还轻微发烧。

圣诞节快到了,daddy带着小瓜去买美术品,让大家一起弄圣诞树。看起来还真不错!

亲爱的宝贝,只要你健康平安喜乐。

Tsokyni Rinpoche来新举办禅修营,带沁芝皓皓前一天就去帮忙,结果两个小不点好棒,不但跟叔叔阿姨都好好,又能帮上忙。最棒的是,小朋友都好喜欢。Yay!

皓皓出生的时候,mommy没有打epidural,记得那个时候写说,感谢皓皓,皓皓就是mommy的提醒,用于创造,用于开出新的方向,create new pathways,创造新的可能性。

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10 Years 9 Months

亲爱的宝贝,好多人都说,你长大了,长得好高,好大。Mommy好像有听没有懂。可能潜意识里,不知道或无法去接受或理解时间过了多快过了多久。

那天去mindspa老师说我我一个回答和神韵很像很像沁芝

于是拿了沁芝的照片让老师看

老师说:“诶怎么不一样了?”

是的。肯定不一样。

因为有爱灌溉。

with love,沁芝blossomed。

It has to be this way because that is what love does.

你考完试的那天,我们特意带你去庆祝。庆祝不止你,还有我们。我们这一年来跟着你上学、下课。不止每天带你上学的daddy下课的公公,还有mommy,皓皓,还有心情上面跟着你上课、测验、赛跑、考试的婆婆阿姨。

好应该庆祝。这么说下来,已经觉得值得再去吃一顿。

一个星期天的早上,mommy带着你和皓皓。和mommy的朋友的女儿一块玩。沁芝去抓鱼,虽然不小心摔了下水湿了一身。但是还是很sporting。应该很好玩!

重点是交了新的朋友。

然后学校改考卷,沁芝休息一天。mommy带沁芝去累积新的体验。去吃沁芝喜欢的汉堡包和薯条。接着去闲逛。沁芝越来越像是mommy的朋友,会介绍好听或自己喜欢的歌曲、东西。

学校放假的前一天,沁芝上台领奖了。是科学方面的achiever’s award,因为从不及格到考了60多分,所以争取了上台拿奖的机会。在台下看宝贝,非常的自信镇定。原来沁芝是这样的,跟爸爸一样,好像,没有什么可以动摇一样。

看着沁芝这么大方自信走上台,满是感恩之情。感谢帮助过沁芝,为我们加持、加油的人。

问沁芝,以后还要不要上台?沁芝点头笑了。她说她愿意努力。

mommy建议,不如每天花一个小时做点数学,念写话华语?沁芝说:“i respect that”

好大人的语言。

这个时候的沁芝喜欢blackpink和这样的东西,喜欢在笔记本中写写画画。

daddy偶然发现了这个。孩子长大太快了。

放假的第一个星期天,带沁芝皓皓去和皓皓的同学玩。皓皓不小心跌倒了,是沁芝跑过来,叫我去。那个时候的沁芝相当的镇定。

看到皓皓不舒服,沁芝愿意去把风扇关掉,或在各种小举动的中间,袒露出对皓皓的照顾和疼爱。

宝贝真的长大了。

后来察觉到沁芝的紧张,是在看医生要帮皓皓清理伤口的时候,沁芝跑过来抱mommy。宝贝,谢谢你这么做,我们脆弱的时候,能够愿意和另一个人袒露,那也是一种勇敢,让mommy懂得照顾你多一点。

接着是学校假期的展开。星期一,安排沁芝皓皓去marine parade上overcoming titanic moments的课。早上带着小瓜搭地铁,看着一车厢的人,跟沁芝说,换做是以前,mommy可能这个时候就搭乘这样的列车去上班,因为学校假期,公公不会来载mommy,而沁芝皓皓就在pasir ris。跟沁芝说,好兴奋,这是mommy和沁芝皓皓的第一个holiday,我们要好好的把握,过好假期,充实自己,同时获得休息。

这是我们三个人的第一个假期,好珍贵。沁芝皓皓想去哪里,mommy都会尽量安排。我们就一起创造回忆。我们的第一个假期的共同回忆。

亲爱的宝贝,爱你。祝福沁芝,平安,健康,喜乐。