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get out of everyday

Dear qinzhi

as i sat down at sea i was just thinking,that once in a while, we need to get out of the everdayness of life,

out of the mundane.

just, take yourself out, then

do different things

to feel n see differently.

its like u see a shadow of the heart move away, as a bigger part of the heart reveals itself.

we all need to b surer n clearer of ourselves

the key word is, get out of it.

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blue sea.sunrise

Dear qinzhi

Mummy ‘s sitting on the balcony watching sunrise

Out there,the gentle lapping of the ocean waves r getting into my body creating this v soft rocking
The effect like cleaning my tired body

It’s funny,the thing is u do not realise how tired in the everydayness of life,much till u stop for a while.

Over at the horizon, the sun is peeking out, eager to inspire n b itself


Well,
The clouds above it r grey but the sun is still itself

I can’t help but wonder like a kid—how can there b such an expanse?
Wat is earth n wat is in earth?
The water juz goes on n on n on……the clouds as well
At this point there is already
Pinkness in the sky

How pretty

It is the hugeness that make man small
In the middle , juz in between the sea n clouds we stand n move along

Then we disappear into the unknown, juz as in the manner which we come by

It is in this perspective that makes man small n troubles minute
Past n histories worth to b let go off as we sail n move into the future
Unnecessary burdens n unhapiness or attachments imposed upon oneself

They all seem so ultra-lly unnecessary
Totally unimportant

Life is short n nothing to compare of in the huge expanse of space n time

It is silly to devote time to any
Cause other than something u believe in in
It is too precious to dwell on past or unhappiness
We should move
Light n able bodied as water as the rest floats away in the winds,much like the clouds n the water that has moved past

And the sun is coming up now
U cannot imagine it’s brillance n influence
It seemed to b coming out fr a pointlessbut the sky just becomes painted pink elsewhere

Sometimes
The clouds cover it’s brilliance
But even so
The sun is always there

And at sea it’s much much easier to c that bad weather does go away
In fact in a matter of minutes
It’s juz that we r not able to c this when we r in bad weather ouselves

Like the sun that goes up then behind clouds n then through bad weather then voilà

good weather again
Bright n fair

Really appreciate this
Qinzhi darling should spend sometime at sea too to catch this wonder

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海上随想

之一
亲爱的沁芝,原来妈咪还是会害怕,就在飞机起飞时,觉得又是一个人了。
在每天的忙碌当中,曰子被很多东西装得满满。忽略了,我们原来就是一个人。
需要学会一个人,能一个人也一样觉得饱满觉得稳当。
这个,妈咪这一两天比较可以适应。
因为飞机离开樟宜时,
妈咪心里已经期待它降落。妈咪在想:wat m I doing here?

之二


夜晚的大海很黑。漆黑。
船驶向黑暗在夜里,就像我们也走向不知明的未来,需要心中一把叫智慧、勇气、爱的灯。
在船上,这灯就是船长。
沁芝,我们都得做自己的船长。

之三
上船的时侯妈咪很开心。因为不是任何人有机会可以参于在当时一个世界最大游轮。

我很感激,所以我告诉自己,也要做沁芝的眼睛耳朵。

用心感受。

和沁芝一起分享。这么了之后,心情舒服许多。

之四


昨天妈咪看到很美的曰落,所以早上调整闹钟,一定要爬起来看曰出。
看着天被曰出分分秒秒不等人地在发光,妈咪真的在看时间不等人这一回事。
就像沁芝分分秒秒在长大,妈咪分分秒秒在老了这一回事。

之五


曰出很好。当你看到一轮火红在不远的天际,从海的平面升起,除了感动还是感动。
感动的是新的开始,新的一天新的可能新的希望,昨天不是不重要,只是,它再重要,也过去了。

之六


海上有最美的天,看了会让自己思索找自己的天。
这一两天看到望天面海的背影都有一种惆怅在深思的感觉。

the sea just has this powerful energy to engage one in thoughts
To feel one’s smallness in this whole expanse
It feels good to b small
Becoz then it makes clear wat is the big in your life

so,it seems that u can always find something at sea.

and then ,there is this something u will realise at sea:that u do not really need alot of things

memories r gd enuff

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写在出国公干的前夕

21/11/2009

11:10pm

亲爱的沁芝

长牙牙了 :)

阿嬷说,以前妈咪长牙齿的时候,整条街都知道,因为妈咪会哭闹,婆婆和阿姨抱着妈咪,整条街一直走走走⋯⋯⋯⋯

但阿嬷说,沁芝好乖:)

长牙长到没人知道⋯⋯⋯⋯

沁芝啊,妈咪明天这个时候就在飞机场了。要飞纽约,去乘坐世界上最大的游轮。

沁芝啊,会不会想念妈咪呢?

这几天,沁芝特别粘妈咪,是不是知道妈咪要出国了呢?妈咪一直在想,沁芝怎么会知道呢?

后来想想,沁芝会懂的,你会听到妈咪呼吸里的紧张,兴奋,不安,期待,害怕,舍不得⋯⋯⋯⋯

但是妈咪也觉得,放个假也是不错的,出国公干给妈咪一个机会,真正去思考,给自己属于自己的时间。说不定,回来以后会更清楚方向。清楚自己。

沁芝,要乖乖听话啦,不可以皮皮。

刚才ah seng舅舅抱着沁芝,让沁芝踢一个塑胶盒子,发现沁芝是用左脚的。然后大家就一直笑了。一直称赞沁芝厉害了。

阿姨每次说,小时候是阿姨的爸爸载着妈咪坐车车,现在轮到舅舅载沁芝坐车车。沁芝还记得吗?舅舅载你到suntec看圣诞灯饰,还抱你下车,让你碰圣诞球。

沁芝以后要孝顺这些照顾你疼爱你的舅舅阿姨了。

哦,对了,今天妈咪很开心,因为小舅舅托朋友从美国买回来的kate spade,妈咪一看就很喜欢。

是深蓝色的,牛奶白的捆边。非常的漂亮、很vintage的感觉。

小舅舅的眼光真好。

沁芝以后挑男人,就要挑这样的:)

真的好喜欢,很久没有收到这样的礼物了:)

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9mths

20/11/2009

亲爱的沁芝

你昨天就9个月大罗,时间好快啊。你穿上小阿姨从韩国买回来给你的衣服,笑得好灿烂,那一天,我们带阿姨和婆婆去parkway,做一点banking,你穿上pampers后笑个不停,知道要出去了。

9个月大的你,已经开始让我们看到你的两颗小兔牙,好可爱,不知道是不是长牙齿太折腾,你昨天发烧了,还有流鼻涕。沁芝啊,快点好起来啦。

不知道为什么,mummy也跟你一起生病了。

沁芝啊,再过2天,mummy就要去美国了,是去体验世界最大的游轮Oasis of the Seas。去一个星期,回来后,你的兔牙应该更高更长了。

回来后,你还会认得mummy吗?

会不会像是现在一样?看到我就双手张开要我抱抱?还会哭闹?

最近一两天,碰到的人都说我应该调整我的工作时间,因为工作错失掉太多沁芝的成长。沁芝每分每秒在改变,在长大,在变化,mummy我却没有跟你一起见证。

这个时候的你,已经不知不觉能坐起来了,是什么时候的事情?

mummy也错过了。

反而把时间放在工作上,沁芝,怎么办呢?要是你是mummy,你会如何?

但mummy还需要support小舅舅念书、还有marine crescent的家。而且,mummy喜欢写,喜欢现在的工作。

没有工作,这些怎么办?昨天有人跟我说,敢敢就放下工作,2年后再回来,你会发现,你并没有错过什么。

或者6个月也好。放下工作,休息,也许前面的路会更清楚。

这个人是香港酒店East的公关,偶然机会下有机会聊,她这么说。

沁芝,我们两个是连在一起的,why not you tell me?

9个月大的沁芝,很粘阿姨,这么依在阿姨身上,真的可爱。

还有,穿上小阿姨的外套时,也好可爱。好可爱。

好可爱好可爱。