Is it coincidence? That I see this now? So many wonderful teachings in here.

Rest in the River


My dear friends, suppose someone is holding a pebble and throws it in the air and the pebble begins to fall down into a river. After the pebble touches the surface of the water, it allows itself to sink slowly into the river.

It will reach the bed of the river without any effort. Once the pebble is at the bottom of the river, it continues to rest. It allows the water to pass by.

I think the pebble reaches the bed of the river by the shortest path because it allows itself to fall without making any effort. During our sitting meditation we can allow ourselves to rest like a pebble. We can allow ourselves to sink naturally without effort to the position of sitting, the position of resting.

Resting is a very important practice; we have to learn the art of resting. Resting is the first part of Buddhist meditation. You should allow your body and your mind to rest. Our mind as well as our body needs to rest.

The problem is that not many of us know how to allow our body and mind to rest. We are always struggling; struggling has become a kind of habit. We cannot resist being active, struggling all the time. We struggle even during our sleep.

It is very important to realize that we have the habit energy of struggling. We have to be able to recognize a habit when it manifests itself because if we know how to recognize our habit, it will lose its energy and will not be able to push us anymore.

Ten years ago I was in India visiting the ex-untouchable community of Buddhists. A friend who belonged to the caste organized the trip for me. I was sitting on the bus, enjoying the landscape outside, contemplating the palm trees and the vegetation. Suddenly I turned and I saw him looking very tense. There was no reason why he had to be tense like that. I thought that he was trying to make my visit pleasant and maybe that was the reason he was so tense. I told him, “Dear friend, I know that you want to make my trip pleasant, but I am already very happy. I’ve already enjoyed the trip. So why don’t you sit back, smile, and relax?” He said, “Okay,” and he sat back and he tried to relax.

I was pleased and I turned my face toward the window again and I enjoyed the palm trees and other things. But just a few minutes after when I looked back at him he was as tense as before. He was not able to relax, to allow himself to relax. I knew that he belonged to that section of the population that had been struggling for many thousand years. He was discriminated against. He had suffered so much, his ancestors and himself and his children. So the tendency to struggle has been there for many thousand years. That is why it was very difficult for him to allow himself to rest.

When an animal in the jungle is wounded, it knows how to find a quiet place, lie down and do nothing. The animal knows that is the only way to get healed—to lay down and just rest.

We have to practice in order to be able to transform this habit in us. The habit of struggle has become a powerful source of energy that is shaping our behavior, our actions and our reactions.

When an animal in the jungle is wounded, it knows how to find a quiet place, lie down and do nothing. The animal knows that is the only way to get healed—to lay down and just rest, not thinking of anything, including hunting and eating. Not eating is a very wonderful way of allowing your body to rest. We are so concerned about how to get nutrition that we are afraid of resting, of allowing our body to rest and to fast. The animal knows that it does not need to eat. What it needs is to rest, to do nothing, and that is why its health is restored.

In our consciousness there are wounds also, lots of pains. Our consciousness also needs to rest in order to restore itself. Our consciousness is just like our body. Our body knows how to heal itself if we allow it the chance to do so. When we get a cut on our finger we don’t have to do anything except to clean it and to allow it the time to heal, because our body knows how to heal itself. The same thing is true with our consciousness; our consciousness knows how to heal itself if we know how to allow it to do so. But we don’t allow it. We always try to do something. We worry so much about healing, which is why we do not get the healing we need. Only if we know how to allow them to rest can our body and our soul heal themselves.

But there is in us what we call the energy of restlessness. We cannot be at peace with ourselves. We cannot be peaceful. We cannot sit; we cannot lie down. There is some energy in us to do this, to do that, to think of this, to think of that, and that kind of restlessness makes us unhappy. That is why it is so important for us to learn first of all to allow our body to rest. We have to learn how to deal with all our energy of restlessness. That is why we have to learn these techniques of allowing our body and our consciousness to rest.

I would like to offer you some instructions about walking meditation. The first thing we shall do early tomorrow morning is to practice walking together, which we call walking meditation. Walking meditation means to enjoy walking without any intention to arrive. We don’t need to arrive anywhere. We just walk. We enjoy walking. That means walking is already stopping, and that needs some training.

The miracle is not to walk on burning charcoal or in the thin air or on the water; the miracle is just to walk on earth.

Usually in our daily life we walk because we want to go somewhere. Walking is only a means to an end, and that is why we do not enjoy every step we take. Walking meditation is different. Walking is only for walking. You enjoy every step you take. So this is a kind of revolution in walking. You allow yourself to enjoy every step you take.

The Zen master Ling Chi said that the miracle is not to walk on burning charcoal or in the thin air or on the water; the miracle is just to walk on earth. You breathe in. You become aware of the fact that you are alive. You are still alive and you are walking on this beautiful planet. That is already performing a miracle. The greatest of all miracles is to be alive. We have to awaken ourselves to the truth that we are here, alive. We are here making steps on this beautiful planet. This is already performing a miracle.

But we have to be here in order for the miracle to be possible. We have to bring ourselves back to the here and the now. Therefore each step we take becomes a miracle. If you are able to walk like that, each step will be very nourishing and healing. You walk as if you kiss the earth with your feet, as if you massage the earth with your feet. There is a lot of love in that practice of walking meditation.

The Buddha said that the past is gone and the future is not yet here. Let us not regret the past. Let us not worry about the future. Go back to the present moment and live deeply the present moment. Because the present moment is the only moment where you can touch life. Life is available only in the present moment. That is why walking meditation is to go back to the present moment, in order to be alive again and to touch life deeply in that moment. In order to be able to touch the earth with our feet and enjoy walking, we have to establish ourselves firmly in the present moment, in the here and the now.

I have arrived, I have arrived. I am home, I am home.

In walking meditation, we walk like a free person. This is not political freedom. This is freedom from afflictions, from sorrow, from fear. Unless you are free you cannot enjoy walking. I would like to propose to you a short poem that you might like to use for walking meditation:

I have arrived. I am home.
In the here. In the now.
I am solid. I am free.
In the ultimate I dwell.

You might like to take two steps and breathe in and say, I have arrived, I have arrived. And when you breathe out, you take another two steps and say silently, I am home, I am home. Our true home is really in the here and in the now. Because only in the here and the now can we touch life. As the Buddha said, life is available only in the here and the now, so going back to the present moment is going home. That is why you take one step or two steps and you awaken to the fact that you have arrived. You have arrived in the present moment.

If you are able to arrive, then you will stop running—running within and running without. There is a belief in us that happiness cannot be possible in the here and the now. We have to go somewhere. We have to go to the future in order to be able to really be happy.

That kind of thinking has been there for a long time. Maybe that feeling has been transmitted to us from our ancestors and our parents. That is why we have to wake up to the presence of that habit energy in us and to do the reverse. The Buddha said that it is possible for us to be peaceful and happy in the present moment. That is the teaching of trista dharma sadha vihara. It means living happily right in the present moment. When you are there, body and mind united, you have an opportunity to touch the conditions of your happiness. If you are able to touch these conditions of happiness that are already available in the here and the now, you can be happy right away. You don’t have to run anywhere, especially into the future.
When we practice walking, we might be aware that we have strong feet. Our feet are strong enough for us to enjoy running and walking. That is one condition for happiness that is available. When I breathe in and I become aware of my eyes, I encounter another condition for my happiness. Breathing in, I am aware of my eyes. Breathing out, I smile to my eyes. This is an exercise, a very simple exercise to help you realize that you have eyes which are still in good condition. You need only to open your eyes to see the blue sky, the white cloud, the luxurious vegetation. You can see all kinds of forms and colors just because you have eyes still in good condition. Your eyes are another condition for your happiness. We have so many conditions like that for our happiness and yet we are still unhappy. We still want to run away from the present moment, hoping we’ll find some happiness in the future.

Breathing in, I’m aware of my heart. Breathing out, I smile to my heart. That is another exercise. When you practice like that you touch your heart with your mindfulness. If you continue a minute, you realize that you still have a heart that functions normally. It is wonderful to have a heart that still functions normally. There are people who don’t have a heart like that and their deepest desire is to have a heart like you. So conditions for happiness may be more than enough for us to be happy, but we are not able to be happy because of that tendency to run away from the present moment.

Make the present moment, the here and the now, into your true home. That is the only home that we have.

To take an in-breath, to smile, and to touch the conditions of happiness that are available, is something that all of us can do. Because of that we can stop and establish ourselves in the present moment. That is the teaching of living happily in the present moment. Please train yourself to make the present moment, the here and the now, into your true home. That is the only home that we have. That is the only place where we can touch life. Everything we are looking for must be found in the here and the now. In that way walking meditation can be a great pleasure and can be very healing.

Do you have to make any effort to practice walking meditation? I don’t think so. It is like when you drink a glass of orange juice. Do you think that you have to make an effort in order to enjoy the orange juice? No. Walking is like that. To really enjoy a glass of orange juice, you have to be there one hundred per cent mind and body together. If you are there, mind and body firmly established in the present moment, then a glass of orange juice will become a real thing for you. You are real; therefore, the juice is real. And there life is real. Life exists. Life is deep during the time you drink your orange juice.

When you contemplate a beautiful sunset, do you have to make any effort? I don’t think so. You don’t have to make any effort in order to enjoy a beautiful sunset. You need only to be there, to be there mind and body together. But if your body is there and your mind is in the past or in the future, then the beautiful sunset will not be there for you.

There is a kind of energy that helps you to be there body and mind together. That energy is called mindfulness. Mindfulness is the capacity of being there body and mind united. When you drink your orange juice, drink mindfully and you will enjoy your juice because you are really there one hundred per cent. If your body and mind are united when you contemplate the beautiful sunset, it means that you are mindful. Mindfulness helps you to be there in order for the beautiful sunset to be there too. While you walk, if you allow yourself to be there mind and body together, then walking will become mindful walking; it will be healing, refreshing and nourishing.

To meditate means first of all to be there, to be on your cushion, to be on your walking meditation path. Eating also is a meditation if you are really there, present one hundred per cent with your food. The essential is to be there. So please when you practice walking meditation, don’t make any effort. Allow yourself to be like that pebble at rest. The pebble is resting at the bottom of the river and the pebble does not have to do anything. While you are walking, you are resting. While you are sitting, you are resting.

If you struggle during your sitting meditation or walking meditation, you are not doing it right. The Buddha said, “My practice is the practice of non-practice.” That means a lot. Give up all struggle. Allow yourself to be, to rest.

I sit on my meditation cushion. I consider it to be something very pleasant. I don’t struggle at all on my cushion. I allow myself to be, to rest. I don’t make any effort and that is why I do not get any trouble while sitting. While sitting I do not struggle and that is why all my muscles are relaxed. If you struggle during your sitting meditation, you will very soon have pain in your shoulders and back and things like that. But if you allow yourself to be rested on your cushion you can sit very long, and each minute is light, refreshing, nourishing and healing.

It is not sitting in order to struggle to get enlightenment. No. Sitting first of all is for the pleasure of sitting. Walking first of all is for the pleasure of walking. And eating is for the pleasure of eating. And the art is to be there one hundred per cent.

When I was a novice I learned how to light a stick of incense in mindfulness. You see, when you light incense you think that the purpose of lighting incense is to have the incense pervading the Buddha’s home. But lighting the incense is just for lighting the incense. You pick up a stick of incense mindfully and you enjoy that, because it is by itself an act of meditation. During the time you pick up the stick of incense you are mindful, you are concentrated, you are real, because your body and your mind are together. And the stick of incense is real. When you strike a match, you do the same thing. During the time you strike a match, you only strike a match. You don’t do anything else. You don’t think of other things. You are perfectly mindful of striking a match. You are concentrated on it, and you enjoy the act of lighting the incense.

When you hold a stick of incense, it is the same. When I stick it into the incense burner, I put my left hand on my right hand. That is the tradition. Everyone in the Buddhist tradition lights incense in that way. The stick of incense is very light; one hand is enough in order to hold it. Why do you have to put your left hand on your right hand? Because it means that you are doing it with one hundred per cent of your body and your mind.

Be there truly. Be there one hundred per cent of yourself. In every moment of your daily life. That is the essence of true Buddhist meditation. Each of us knows that we can do that, so let us train to live each moment of our daily life deeply. That is why I like to define mindfulness as the energy that helps us to be there one hundred per cent. The energy of your true presence.

Breathing in—in the here, in the here. Breathing out—in the now, in the now. Although these are different words they mean exactly the same thing. I have arrived in the here. I have arrived in the now. I am home in the here. I am home in the now.

When you practice like that, you practice stopping. Stopping is the basic Buddhist practice of meditation. You stop running. You stop struggling. You allow yourself to rest, to heal, to calm.

And after a few minutes of practice you might switch into doing the third line—I am solid, I am free. This is not auto-suggestion. Why? Because if you have succeeded in arriving in the here and in the now you are much freer. You are free from the past, from the future, from your worries, from your fear. And you become much more solid; your steps become more solid and you become more solid in your body and in your mind. Solidity becomes a reality after a few minutes of arriving, of being home.

Solidity and freedom are two characteristics of nirvana. Nirvana is not something abstract. The Buddha said we can touch nirvana with our own body. So while you practice walking meditation you can begin to touch nirvana already with your body and your spirit.

When you feel you are a little bit more solid, a little bit more free, then you begin to touch nirvana with your body and spirit. Solidity and freedom are the true base for your happiness and well being. No happiness, no well being, is possible without solidity and freedom.

The last line of the poem is wonderful. In the ultimate I dwell. In the ultimate. In the ultimate. I dwell. I dwell. The ultimate here is the true foundation of your being.

Let us visualize the waves on the ocean, several waves appearing on the surface of the ocean. Some waves are big, there are those that are small, and each wave seems to have its own life. A wave may have ideas like, “I am a wave. I am only a wave among many waves. I am smaller than the other wave. I am less beautiful. I last less than the other wave.” Ideas like that. A wave can be caught in jealousy, in fear, in discrimination.

But if the wave is able to bend down and touch the water within herself, it will realize that while it is a wave, it is at the same time water. Water is the foundation of the wave. While waves can be high and low, more and less beautiful, the water is free from all these notions. That is why if we are able to touch the foundation of our being, we can release our fear and our suffering.

Touching the foundation of our being means touching nirvana. Our foundation is not subjected to birth and death, being and non-being. A wave can live the life of a wave, but a wave can do much better than that. While living the life of a wave, a wave can live a life of the water. The more our solidity and our freedom grows, the deeper we touch the ground of our own being. That is the door for emancipation, for the greatest relief.


Instead of being blown

Instead of being blown around in this world there has to come a time, there has to be a place, there has to be a spot, where one stands still like a mountain. Although the wind blows, you don’t move. The wind can blow and blow, but you don’t move and eventually the wind gives up.



Learning from the Bardos

Amazing interview and great soundbites from Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche in this link


He talks about bardo, or the gaps in between. These gaps we can be mindful of in our lives that allow us to get really close to ourselves and our true nature.

These gaps we can transform as we let ourselves die and be with the present. These gaps that allow us to discover.


New Eyes, New Mind, New Heart

Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche’s New Year Message. So wise, so concise, so on point.

New Year’s Message 2019

Happy New Year! I will pray that the new year brings you happiness, health, and also that you will develop your spiritual journey, your awareness, compassion, and wisdom.

This is a new year and, of course, we all know that; our life is changing, the environment is changing, the whole world is changing. It is important that we accept that things are changing. We need to really
let go of, what I call our “fixed mind:” the mind that creates a prison or a jail for ourselves, layer after layer, with preconceptions and a lot of judgment and lots of ideas. We need to accept these changes. This new year is a big change, is it not? If you can be with what changes, accept that which changes, that will really bring, or it has for me, a new perspective on life that is fresh and really sees things clearly. I become clear about myself, about my life, and in meditation, it really helps me
to see my own mind, the natural qualities of my own mind.

You can see things around you, also, being fresh and alive. In a way, we all have this wonderful life, right now. It is amazing! and it is important to appreciate that you are alive, that you are breathing. At the same time, there is a lot of great qualities within us — within me, within you, and in this world. Appreciate that and be with it.

At the same time, practice letting go. Letting go is not giving up. Let go of your fixed mind. After letting go of your fixed mind, you will discover the fresh reality of yourself and the world. That only comes through accepting impermanence, changes.

With this day comes a big change for you and for all of us. It is New Year’s, right? I hope this new year will open new eyes, a new mind, and a new heart for you that is fresh, clear, joyful, and peaceful.

Thank you!



Healing XXXXXv

Teacher specially made time for me even if it were a last minute call to him. And I understood why. I cannot say how miraculous it was but he told me it was because he had been through my path.

His daughter suffered from epilepsy at 4, he quit his job and went on to discover for himself all sorts of healing methods he could apply for his precious one. He says, “My daughter is my teacher and the reason why I m here today. In this healing practice, because as I worked on her, i discovered and began to work this on more people. She had a big attack at age 4, then alls good for one year. Then another one one year later, then it became more frequent. But the medication had a lot of side effects so i took a bolder way, she did not use medications, but by age 8 she was doing well and now she’s recovered.”


I have seen him for 55 sessions, is that the reason why I have been seeing him.

Like a bigger hand that has a plan and is guiding me to it? Or, was I the planner——-How did everything get its place? How did i come to this position, or how did my family members and love ones find theirs in the now?

We approach not knowing.

I told teacher about Qinzhi’s seizure, and the big one she had on 27th December when we were holidaying. She woke up really angry and having mood swings. I handed her ningxia red and got her to drink, and she got really sore and let out, “why every morning like that?”

We asked her about this. Like what? we probed. Her brother was clearer, “Mommy, you always ask us what we want, but in the end, you gave us what you want.” But Qinzhi chose to keep quiet. She didn’t say or couldn’t say. She was struggling emotionally and she could not handle and the big seizure happened. I find her at the toilet dazed and not responding. We carried her to the bed. She vomitted out all the things she drank and remained to have impaired awareness not responding to us. Her dad cried and she could still wipe a tear off his face. But still remains in her world. I did not find this right and he carried her down and we drove sent her to the nearest hospital 20 min away. In the car, we kept rubbing her toes and talking to her, i sprayed mist on her and she responded, her hair fell and she responded. But she just did not say.

Did not say anything. Pinched her and got her round, she said ouch and gradually came to. But was afraid knowing we are sending her to hospital.

I told teacher about all this.

I told teacher Qinzhi was what Daddy and myself had after a 10 year relationship , after mom, uncle, his mom, passed away all in a very dramatic way. Through those years, we were together learning to patch our life back using what little mindfulness we had, we fumbled and made our way—on hindsight, really with blessings from above. Then we applied and got our house, and planned for marriage, that was when we discovered we had Qinzhi, after a korea trip —-some 5 months before before the day we were suppose to get married.

With a marriage certificate.

I was fixated on steps. I was educated to. You had to do this before you do that. You had to follow this and definitely DO something before you could arrive at that.

You had to get a marriage certificate before you are legally married and have a baby.

It was societal. If you did not follow, you were sort of the lesser crowd. AT that time. Also my tribe was big, my extended family was a big one and everyone was about getting things right. If not it was frowned upon and discussed on the side. If not, you risk the criticism and disfavour of grandmother.

It was like that.

And I had been a good student obeying all the rules all the while.

Only this time.

Yet Qinzhi is letting me discover the wonder of joy and magic in life. Of a blossoming. Of all the little and big things in life. Qinzhi led me on to wonders after wonders, morphing me into completeness along the way.

Now i look back, it was after giving birth to Qinzhi, that i started my healing journey. I blossomed I morphed.

But i was not able to cross that point when i conceived, not knowing what to do, who to turn to, i didnt knew how to take this news, Mom was already not here then. It was my nanny who knew first and started cooking for me.

Teacher listened and said, “So now can you already accept this?”

I honestly still feel that I have not resolved this, logically it looks really silly how these norms and watertight rules should override the precious magic of life. Silly, laughable, ignorance.

But truly i was under the spell of this.

And now I m writing, perhaps this was my way of rejecting or refusing and rebutting of those “norms” I was subconsciously not agreeable to. I wanted to challenge those. So I went against the tide having Qinzhi.

Teacher says, “Qinzhi can feel all this. Being not welcomed enough. For beings who feel this way, they become closed up in their own system and their own world. Like a defence mechanism.”

I asked what I can do about this.

Strangely I been having this feeling about reading my blog to her. When I discovered my pregnancy.

Teacher suggested this method called metamorphosis. Its putting your hands into a butterfly shape, recounting the time i was pregnant and moving and working with the pulsations at the points the fingers connected. Working on this for 10 days, 1 day represents one month.

Very nicely, he says that I can let him know when i start so he can support me.

I told him, Qinzhi has been a guiding teacher in my life. She kickstarted me to adulthood and my learning journey as a person. When I had panic attacks, and had to bring her to the music lessons, it was her hand that held on to mine to give me energy. But now, her hands are cold and limp. Her hands were always warm and full of energy. But in return for giving, we scolded her badly.

We gave her what she didnt want. We gave her what we want. We did not listen to her. We did not hear. We did not take heed and take care of her. We could not appreciate her heart and the voice there. We did not respond to her. Her pleas or her refusals to follow us. She just continued to take that. We did not see her at all. And now in her seizures she doesn’t listen or respond to us.


Teacher explained Qinzhi’s epilepsy to me, “because she said and you did not take heed, you did not hear. So Qinzhi has chosen this path to make you listen.”

“She has chosen this pathway to subject herself to this to make you sit up and listen. You can not ignore this or subject her to hurt anymore. Help her find her light and become the light and wonder she wants. Not what you want.”

Teacher also cautioned us on a few things. That when the seizure happened, adults are in shock too.

“And so we need to take cake of this as well. When adults are worried about the next attack—-you portray and create an energy field and more often then not, it leads to the subsequent attacks.”

“We have to be very mindful about this and there are things we can do.”

“Turning eyeballs. Rightwards 3 times and leftwards many times. Rightwards you times, imagine yourself in a time machine, and pushing a button gets you back in time to the time the seizure happens. When you are there, the eyeballs go leftwards. To release the energy of the incident.

Be creative about this. You can change things by changing or breaking the energy pattern in the fifth dimension. Now that you are in a safe position and turning your eyeballs leftwards, you can see clearly the situation then. How would you react? Visualise and use your imagination. Would you react the same way? Or would you give Qinzhi a gentle hug? You will see her eyes shine. Or if your husband and son is there, all of you can hug her. Doing this is creating a new pattern a new energy and this will impact the energy now and here.”


There is a lot of comfort you find in —-being able to address something which has passed. Like the least and at the same time the most you can do.

Teacher also taught about the helpfulness on massaging the spine to remove blockages in there which could affect clarity and our nervous system.

Teacher also cautioned us that we should not quarrel in front of kids because they do not know how to handle and process. “Like Qinzhi says, when she’s going to have seizure she feels like she cannot handle it. Kids cannot handle. So you and and your husband has to have a contract, how do you handle or manage differences? You have to sort that out. But NO—not infront of kids.”

“For every child, he or she looks for a nurturing mother and a protective father. When you had panic attacks, you had to be away, Qinzhi has to find protection in her father too to establish close relationships with you, and subsequently this will affect her as she starts to establish her relationship with the world.”

He also encourages us to look deep within —-in fact the first step would be exploring and putting in place and moulding our relationship as husband and wife, to achieve to sense of deeper bonding and understanding, a better cohesion of our relationship and changing things from within before we can address and make changes to our relationship with Qinzhi.

I told Teacher that I was trying to digest this along the way.

That day in Tasmania, it was winter solstice. That day i saw a FB post on one of my friend’s page and it read—-Read that Winter Solstice is a reminder to let everything go and begin again. Not just on 22 Dec but on any given day, any given moment. Winter Solstice is both the darkest day and the return of light. It is when things are darkest that light is about to return. It is the deepest part of night that the new day begins.

How poetic how right. No wonder the old folks always say, winter solstice is like the new year and we have the tradition of eating tangyuan or circle shaped dumplings on Winter Solstice, the shortest day of the year.

Everyday in Tasmania, we drove past majestic mountains and land masses which opened up to the sun. That winter solstice day in Tasmania, as the kids slept in the car, I looked at the sheer vastness, the mountains the trees the openness and the tears just flow.

Life is so big.

The understanding is a bit different now. Its not that of having to succumb but that of reverence, respect and a humbling that comes with this new understanding of life that sent these tears of appreciation. It’s realisation and perception, a very powerful one. Seeing this allows you to put alot of things in pespective and to trust the process. Its not letting go but trusting the work and the underlying hand. And that’s when we can rest with the flow, ride with it and COCREATE.

I also thought about transformation. And using this as an opportunity to change and alter deep seated arrangements and practices, melting away things thoughts attitudes feelings emotions ways of life that do not work anymore.

Seeing this is amazing, its the practice that Mingyur Rinpoche, Tsoknyi Rinpoche has put in place these few years.

I also see the transient nature of life. In our last session, I remember telling Teacher that we can prepare for certain things. But apparently, not at much as we would like to.

I have never felt life so precious in a long while. Or appreciate its fleeting nature so greatly. The last was probably mom’s, uncle’s, auntie’s death as it loomed.

We forgot about appreciating the idea of impermanence in life, even if it was so true so real.

And I shared with Teacher that I also see this as a blossom or a ripening of sorts. That when conditions are present, or ripe, a fruit and flower blossoms. And learning to embrace this and letting down our preconceived notions about what should or should not why this and why not.

More importantly, the change has to come from within. He says, “For Qinzhi who is closed up, how do you breakthrough that? You have to address the close systems within you, you have to open up and change within yourself your old ways, so that she can see this happening to you to inspire her change and transformation.”

Teacher also shared about sharing important information with kids when they are most relaxed. That is when you are about to drift into sleep and the subconscious mind comes up to receive information. Understanding this can let us better use this precious time to transmit and send information to our kids.

“Look at this positively, and you can use this opportunity to transform.”

I asked Teacher how do i say goodbye to 2018?

He thought for a while, “by letting everything go back to Mother Earth, this grounding sense of energy, and renewing with her in her presence. When you let go, there is renewing of energy.”

And welcoming the new 2019?

“Welcoming Qinzhi back into your life and welcoming 2019 can be in tandem. If I were you, I will give her a big hug and say to her, how how how precious she is to you and the family.”

I told Teacher, if this is the time I should stop my work and come back to my family, it seemed to be the thing to do, to make myself feel better. But i also thought i want to put up a fight for this, to continue my work but adjust my time so that i show up for my kids at home when they are back from school. Teacher ‘s advice is, “Your work is your life, its how you concrete and gets inspired by life and inspire. I certainly do not see that quitting is the appropriate thing to do. But SURELY, showing up and listening to your kids and seeing who they are and changing within you to break down old systems and modes.”

I cannot say how powerful this teaching —-this teaching of life is. The work i have done in my professional field has been preparing for me to address my own. When i offer myself to the interview, to the newsmaker, to the chefs, i listen intently and with all of my heart. And I find out their light and put it in videos.

But I haven’t really offered my presence to my Qinzhi, the one who has taught me so much and kickstarted my healing journey to understanding life.

How can my works be sincere if I do not show up for Qinzhi and listen to her being.

And all these healing sessions, these 55 sessions of them, is truly powerful because I unlocked so much and found so many messages that gave me deep insightful understanding of how life works.

Most of all, teacher taught me about listening and offering his presence to me. Or to my soul development. And I think this is truly truly valuable truly precious. He taught by way of example. And I m very inspired to take the cue and do this for my Qinzhi.

To myself and my life, to truly listen to voices and let it shine.

Om ma ne pad me hum.


Tsoknyi Rinpoche’s Teachings











Rinpoche teachings make me feel like there’s a lot I can do to my own practice or life 

There’s a way out to make it better

He’s pointed a way out— go a little bit with the suffering , open up and feel it n be with it

There’s a way out, there’s something we can do

Day 2

We started with the practice of “dropping” and “handshake” with issues at heart 

I felt that I want to work on brokenness 

At Ishinomaki at Nozomi project, Sue wanted to give me a pendant but I didn’t really want it

“It’s okay”, I said.

But it’s not.

There’s brokenness in me n that I didn’t want to address

There’s brokenness in me that I didn’t want to come face to face with or embrace

Why? I asked. In this session of mindfulness practice.

Because it’s a period of time which was a lack n imperfect I felt it was beneath me, me who excelled and is perfect in all ways.

Me who was trying to rise up to the social strata n is set back 

There’s a sense of shame that that part of my life was anything but perfect

It pulled me down that period of lack 

There’s anger n frustration in there. A lot of pride and ego as well

I didn’t want to talk about it or bring it up. I want it to go away. And erase it get it out of my life

But go away it did not

It pops up every now and then, time and again when I see something or speak to someone or touch someone else’s brokenness 

And I press it down

How should I go about this to transform this?

I thought about lack too

Why do I have problems giving to people even if I m able to?

Because I m reminded of a state when I was in my lack— a period of lack in my life that I m still living in n out of even if I m not now 

But that period was an impactful one , leaving me a v strong imprint

I do not lack anything now n I need to release myself from it.

In fact I have been factually speaking and saying so, but energetically feelings wise I haven’t come out of it

For once I wanted to meet with it.

Come face to face with it

And try to understand both cognitively n emotionally that which went thru my mind n my body n my heart

It’s been tough for me n I took it all down n made it well on the surface 

But deep down I know there’s a road to healing

And I m walking on it now 

Slowly but surely 

But now that I write, HOW SILLY! To live with a judgment I set and unwittingly got sucked into and suffered for. All this while.

On day 3 I understand or come to realize that we have to start to feel to get in touch with our self n our heart.

We have been thinking too much n now is the time to bring about a better balance in our life by feeling. I remember Alain Passard telling me, how he loved cuisine art because it got him in touch with his senses.

It brought him closer to himself.

I think the practice of life is such, bringing ourselves back to our intuitive nature, and unlearning concepts, practices, habits to return to our carefree boundless nature.

There can be many solutions to be arrived at just by being aware by just feeling.

Thinking can solve some problems and awareness more. 

There was time devoted to taking refuge and the Taking refuge part is amazing

It feels really warm n enveloped or hugged in the heart area

Feels loved 

Grateful for refuge, like an inner secure home you can always come to. Consolidated the teachings proper down here:


Day 1

Subtle body

Betw cognitive mind n physical body Theres a world of feelings 

Gd understandings if physical body n cognitive mind

But Subtle body understanding is not mature

Keep this subtle body healthy n it has impact on our consciousness n physical body to achieve gd well being

Many times we say I know but I don’t feel it

I know I m ok but don’t feel like it 

We think we should b happy but don’t feel happiness 

So there’s some blockage in the subtle body

Most times you know but don’t feel this way

Too serious will block joy

Serious only to function

Too serious get uptight not gd for subtle body

On outside function well n

Find humor internally 



Mantra I created- simple inside complex outside 

Learn to handle complex world with simplicity on the inside

Relax but open 

Complex because external conditions of modern life is quite complex

Simple- because we have to find or connect with our birth right , unconditional well being, unconditional happiness 

Keep this n cope with complexity of modern life

Feel for it

Only thru feeling we will transform our happiness 

We have 2 types of habits

-Cognitive based habit

-Emotional or subtle body based habit

Emotional habits—-if we want to transform we go thru a special feeling to heal that feeling 

In the subtle body, cognitive understanding cannot help transform 

Mind understands but not enough to transform or heal 

Simple inside, complex outside 

World getting better but with it comes worry 

How do u handle this? 

What’s the right amount to worry 

Simple inside = we r born with natural spark or essence love, unconditional stuff

we are born with our existence

This is important to shift some belief n understanding because we r used to looking for conditions 

Happiness is not only outside or inside it’s a combination 

It’s not smtg u can pinpoint 

Eg how much strength do u use to hold this paper?

Right amount of grasp easy to see on the paper 

When it’s in u, how’ve you holding your life?

You living life too loose or too tight?

How do u know? Do u know?

Feel your seriousness?

What is to relax?

Think about this?

Slow down? Slow down what? 

Work slow eat slow?

Which part u relaxing? Action or mind?

Relax – is soft loose warm 

Have u located it?

Where is it?

When I ask u to relax some of u look like u r gg somewhere. If that’s the case u can’t work n can’t deal with the complexity . If use this way, both can’t exist at same time

Have to b practical

Teaching of Buddha need to b applied to n  arrive at change in life n become better n happier 

If u have quarrel with partners, can u keep some calmness n deal with complexity of the emotion

This is important coz we go into black n white

We lost the beautiful dance with life

I want u to relax this subtle body

relax the feeling world not the physical world 

Eg walk here to there fast but relaxed 

If don’t relax subtle body tension build up

There will b blockages

There’s a Qi connected with speediness

You get Anxious

Think fast action fast but feel relaxed

Connect with relax first 

relax but alert so u can carry on with everyday life

Relaxed n engaged

Eg u need to go to a place but still have 3 days but u r speeding up n already going 

—->That not relaxed or being speedy . Y do u worry?

Can u relax n not b worry ?

That speediness is part of the subtle body

Mind knows 3 more days n says relax 

How to turn down the speediness 

Every time we r tired n exhausted it’s not our mind or physical body but the restlessness that is in our subtle body

3 parts:

-Cognitive based Mind

-Feeling based emotion Subtle world


Eg cleaning

Body is doing work

Mind already know what to do but body needs time to do

Feeling – so faster n faster quickly finish

Do u feel this

There’s work u don’t like but u have to do 

That’s y u want to do faster to finish 

So what do u do? Not to clean or with that job or change mind?

U think one way n feel another 

Conflict between mind n feeling 

Sometimes both go same Direction

Positive thought —-give positive feeling gd

But sometimes this doesn’t happen 

It depends on connection between mind n feeling

Modern lifestyle broke the connection because too many things outside. You get sucked in n lost the inside world 

Stress comes because the emotions in subtle body is pushing body to do fast 

This restless feeling in subtle body 

subtle body is made up of prana nadi bindu 

Have to feel! Not just understanding 

This click is important 

!!!!!Dropping exercise!!!!!

Some things u can let it go let it drop

Say Extra worry tensions or baggage 

We have these because we forgot to delete n it’s become junk

Why we care more than we need?

This extra caring is a burden

This burden will block authentic care

Have to let it go 

Practise dropping 

Involves mind feeling body

Dropping means delete ok let it go

——Always input nvr delete 

When u drop u get freedom 

Most of times u want too many  because of craving attachment… u hold everything in n don’t delete 

Shake hands

Let go of breath 

N mind- says who cares?so what ?

Whatever happens happens whatever doesn’t doesn’t 

Too much hope n fear no gd

at the end let out big breath n open up your palms on leg

Stay there in the free open relaxed 

Be in the now

U need this many times in daily life

Drop n relax

After a while don’t even need the shaking hands action

Now What r you dropping?

Worry? Fear?

What is your baggage? Try to understand that

Simple practice for mind body feeling 

When we care more than we need extra care become problem 

When u become healthy u make other pple healthy n happy 

Happy doesn’t mean things r perfect

Even if things not working perfectly you know how to sort or handle 

Be kind to yourself and others

Subtle body teaching teaches balance n is about healthy human beings

Stillness w/o movement 

Stillness with movement

Every thought has some feelings

When we make decisions, there’s some feeling in there

Every thought has a teabag

We need awareness to recognize feeling of body, emotion or mind

Sometimes decisions are made based on habits , this involves feelings 

In fact many times we decide based on our imprints

Eg u go to hotel there r 2 beds, one near wall the other in middle 

Which would u choose

Who is making the decision

The mind? Body?

The imprint is mostly making the decision 

Imprint is the chop in the nadi, one of the 3 in the subtle body

Coz our habits r v stubborn , so who cares ? So what is directed to ourselves 

Subtle body is more than mind, less than body

Not a mind nor physical 

It’s In between 

Subtle body Comes from 3 components prana nadi bindu 气/脉/敏点

气Prana: every movement is based on prana, also called lung

There’s external n internal Qi 

Every moment is dependent on Qi 

This natural movement of subtle body due to outside forces makes it unhealthy 

This unhealthiness manifests in 3 forms

脉Nadi- connected with subtle nerves to connect feelings 

There can b healthy subtle body

Transform Fr distorted subtle body to healthy body 


Imprint x habits 

environment n habits leave imprint on us

We learn fr environment society parents friends etc, imprints r left on in subtle body 

Some r healthy some unhealthy 

2 kinds of habits – karmic(fr past life)n learned habitual pattern (fr this life)

Cognitive habitual pattern- fr childhood u recognize n build up habit overtime 

In the process there might b trauma , these also leave imprint 

Painful state in world of feelings. Emotions move around that

Issues in there

Some r sleeping imprint, most r

This  imprint we call cause

This cause is triggered by smthg similar n is activated

When old imprint is activated,

you feel the same feeling that old event triggered

All these r activated 

Mindfulness help u not react to that

— oh this is triggered not actual one 

Actual thing already gone because of trigger n activated and it’s in u now

It’s the leftover imprint giving u suffering 

Practice – aware of that moment feel the feeling n transform that 

This is my imprint it’s not me

have to transform no need to scared its leftover residue — it’s not me

It’s my imprint it’s not me

Train! Thru mindfulness awareness

Every time its activated , use love understanding n awareness to transform 

It’s real but not true

The feeling is real but the message isn’t true because the real event is gone

So when u have the feeling that smtg is activated, strong habits etc b aware of that 

It’s my imprint not the real one

This can change many things in the family

You recognize that it’s their imprint it’s not them

All of us are clinging on to our imprint

Learn to identify n separate the 2

Communicate with imprint n let it go

Eg when couples quarrel

U know that his or her imprint has been activated 

!!!!!Meet our imprints!!!!! Handshake Practice 

Say hi smile be kind not suppress

Don’t run away but feel the pain if u have

It has happened 

It’s real but not true

It’s distorted

If you cling to it follow it and make it true you lock in to that habitual pattern

You wear that glass you perceive life from there

You suffer your family suffer your partner suffers too

This is all unnecessary suffering 

The birth age illness death suffering is enough 

We can change this n transform 90% you can function well 

It’s not me

It’s imprint 

We can transform the imprint 

When sleeping imprint is triggered, normally mind n feeling give out lots of stories and the imprint is activate. you react, then After many reactions , the imprint is reinforced 

We have to stop the reactions

This is feeling world so takes a little time but this is so important 

Drop the thinking mind

Whatever comes up be with it – handshake practice 

Know vs feeling

Drop the thinking n feel

Learn to meet raw with the inner monsters

Feel the pain for a while n it will open up

Change from core

Chant with the monster not to monster 

One day u b proud of yourself—- for meeting face to face 

If u can transform it will help you greatly

We have a lot of unnecessary suffering n we carry it all the way n think it’s me n see others thru that

But we have a right to live happily 

Smile without reason 

Trigger essence love 


Thru knowing things will change 

Of course there r techniques too

But sometimes just knowing can change naturally 

Find your ground your center n look

If qi go up it means You lost your ground 

Trust yourself have confidence to b yourself 

Just relax 

Day 2

Acceptance fr feelings rather than mind

Learn to listen to the voices that come out of our system 

Eg of him crossing bridge at KLCC

He stopped at one end of bridge

Use cognitive/thinking or analytical mind to investigate bridge is safe or not 

Access it’s safe coz pple r on the bridge 

Try to walk second time 

Felt same fear n stood there to check myself

2 messages come out

  1. Cognitive mind says go
  2. Feeling says no

I walked back because I want to transform 

I don’t want to force

Force maybe can do one time but next time more forceful

I walked back n stayed for a while for self reflection 

Outside is safe, bridge is safe

Inside is complex due to an internal beautiful monster

When I was young I fell Fr tree or mountain many times so I have these imprints in my subtle body 

Conflict betw mind n feeling , ego or I don’t know who to support 

Everyday u have this

We all have this don’t blame yourself or others but we can transform slowly minimize suffering

Many habits are in the subconscious in the subtle body

Use that beautiful monster to understands ourselves n others 

Many great things in this world because of beautiful monster

A lot of pple are great because they r connected to some form of monster 

If u stuck no solution but if u use monster

If we use right way it can b healthy

I know the value of that pain n not to let other pple have pain

Eg Milerepa master

He’s have a great monster n use that n transformed

Lean in on the pain 

Go into the pain almost like refuge

When u stop reaction monster open up

Because that monster is not permanent but dependent n its nature is openness 

Communicate with the monster 

Fear fr feeling- is not fact based fear 

But from imprint that was triggered n activated 

Many imprints r in our life

The complexity is due to a mixing of imprint based fear and fact based fear

Based on clarity of mind , with mindfulness practice, we can guide n transform distorted habitual pattern into healthy new pattern 

Buddhism encourages intelligent mind to do investigation

If we want to know our real self we have to find the selfless egoless self

We need healthy relative self

How does it appear to you? Distorted reality n imprints 

What is the reality?

When u open up

Confidence inner confidence inner strength understanding compassion will come

Won’t immediately react

Lots of beautiful things happen 

Inside n outside is healthy

It’s great n joyful

You dwell gd because it’s not due to outside conditions 

Experience of essence love is our birthright

It’s always there but due to imprint n our fixations, it’s covered up

We lost our connection to essence love but keep going to look for happiness outside n you experience hollow inside even if you r successful 

Arrive at Experience of movement of Bindu 

Bindu = home of love courage clarity bliss joy 

Feel grounded calm warm heart less judgmental kind

Feel well inside

Connecting with essence love via shamantha 止 practice 

So u can always go back there

Home must b healthy 

All kinds of love must come fr essence love otherwise its conditional love 

Then u know how to forgive also

Like with parents 

Otherwise if smtg happens 

Understand that this is their habit also

If we can understand this we can forgive 

How to bring qi down

-As soon as you aware it goes down

-technique :

-we need to have calmness n clarity because meditation can arise out of that

-grounded body calmness warm in body clear heart 

-calmness is in the feeling not in the mind

-modern life is busy n qi is v active, you need extra effort to b calm

  • we use a lot of lung n qi to function in modern day
  • But we forgot to bring it down or let it go back to their place


– mainly shamatha n vipassana

-shamatha needs focus

-before this u need preparation understand subtle body etc 

-after shamatha, vipassana will come 

Eg handshake with fear

N fear goes away

But you miss fear ?

Whatever is there be with it eg b with absence of fear n maybe there u will find shamatha 

Eg u handshake with fear but anger comes

Stay w anger or handshake anger

Then sad come

So handshake the sadness

But there’s an end

So stay there sadness will open up n gone

N maybe there will b doubt , so handshake that 

There r layers as emotions r linked but there’s a root to this

Maybe there will b essence love freedom etc in place at the end

Just b there

Essence love is your nature


Ego has 4 expressions:

-Mere I (healthy)- simple I 

-Realified I- my point of view is right, this is the truth (unhealthy)

-self centered cherishing I – all about me, 

-social I – come out of self cherishing strong I , v high maintenance , high when in a group 

-ultimate I

Ego arise Fr fear

Go back to childhood, have a look

Most healthy antidote is love

Esp essence love it will heal 

Our world is missing authentic pure unconditional love

Too many conditions 

Caught up with expression of love but we really are disconnected fr essence love 

Come back to basic

Rebuild n reconnect ie with qi that should b at dantian 

We grew up too quickly no time to play 

We need connection with feeling our hearts

Handshake is to make mind emotion feeling connected 


Calm n aware = good

Calm n don’t know what is happening = no good 

Calm is not a hiding place to ignore things

!!!!!!Bringing Lung down!!!!!

  • overactivated 
  • Tight neck burning eyes like boiling state n shaking
  • Do breathing exercise to bring lung down
  • breathe out 
  • 2 methods 

(1)3 steps: breathe in /push down (- like peeing ) /count 6 /breathe out

  • You feel groundedness mind clear eyes brighter feat subside 
  • Lie down at home put book on belly. Breathe in belly bigger breathe down belly smaller 
  • Do v regularly 

(2)Gentle breathe

Still can talk n qi stay at dantian 

Feel grounded n achieve clarity 

Cooling at forehead


Pass gas

Some itchiness in scalp

Some vibration

Qi in legs


We r happy to open eyes

Have Water in your eyes

Look into light n sun quite ok

Non reactive 

Respond fr qi groundedness calm

Take care of your qi

The above will help life n minimize suffering


Nowness n clarity stay v long

2 practice

Handshake – for imprint nadi 

Breathe- for qi prana

!!!!!!Happy without reason!!!!!!

Guru Rinpoche Empowerment 

Connected to guru rinpoche 

Empowerment: Your body speech mind perception everything— like trying to upgrade to guru rinpoche ‘s mind speech body perception way of thinking living etc in a enlightened way or adopting guru rinpoche ‘s enlightened body speech wisdom 

I feel v blessed to have this opportunity !!!!! May I share this joy and gratitude with all sentient beings 

Main purpose : adopt enlightened perception , with gd effects of gd health less obstacles 

After empowerment, chant mantra, more effective 

1)Water purification- purify obstacles

Blessed water n saffron water to drink n on head n sprinkle – think of purifying yourself obstacles sickness all gone 

2)sharing blessings with maras

3)Visualize 5 colours of light rep 5 wisdom protect u

4)dharma teaching- keep gd motivation 

I do not know what rinpoche is chanting but I feel blessed to b here at the moment to have this opportunity 

I thank the good that has been done I thank the difficulties that have brought me here

And I want to make this opportunity good by motivating myself to b better to practise to do better so I can share my light n pave the way for more gd opportunities

Mandala offering

Chanting to ask for blessing 

Visualize your body dissolve into emptiness n with it comes luminosity 

N transform into new body of guru rinpoche 

Light Fr my heart n Fr rinpoche heart meet 

Go to guru rinpoche ‘s pure land to invite wisdom 

Multicolor light go to head chakra


Blessing of guru rinpoche body speech mind received forever 

Visualize yourself as guru n his body come to u n dissolve 

Receive Mantra to cleanse prana qi wind

Blessing of guru rinpoche ‘s heart or wisdom. Mind pushed by thought after thought fixations , rest n find empty luminosity 

Long term effect: awaken n become 


Chant time to time 



Cultivate yourself 

Have happy healthy life

Pls take care of yourself your family n sentient beings 

Live a healthy meaningful life 

Day 3

If live with “Mere I”, attachments is lesser

Based on us as human, until we depart as humans. When we r no longer humans, perception change. We r what we r because of conditions coming together 

Now we come back to mere I 


Clarity is the uniqueness of our mind, means clear and self knowing 

Only mind has this quality not elements not flower etc

Mind Also called consciousness or 心

Calmness is subtle body


Subtle body(Parma.nadi.bindu)

Physical body 

When we meditate, mind subtle body mind all involved 

Mind expresses in 4 ways:

  1. Knowing mind – simply u know. Automatic. eg flower is flower, book
  2. Thinking mind – think to find out. eg who made book? In order to think n find out we need some reference ie what you learnt before. Then you think n judge . Problem is : if we have wrong reference n we make wrong judgement n conclusion because this is all connected to habitual patterns n imprints
  3. Awareness of mind – v important!!!!! What is Difference between knowing n awareness? When u have anger in you, do u notice you have anger ? You know ? And are you aware? What’s the difference? You look at flower? You know this is flower? But Are you aware that the mind is or you are knowing the flower? Awareness is like a double mirror. YOU KNOW THE KNOWING it’s in the present moment . Part of the knowing but also knows the knowing . It’s not part of thought nor thinking. It’s the intrinsic quality of mind. Best companion that comes with you. Not too strong not too loud. We always try to find out from or with thinking. One day it’s not a lot of difference because whatever you know awareness is there . Whatever you think there’s awareness. Almost no self but there’s something in there. Beautiful!  If you can bring this into your life, many problems will be solved and one day that awareness become automatic. This awareness almost take care of everything. Practice! But not by thought. Drop the thinking . We think we can find solutions by thinking but that is not true. Thinking has its role but not all can b solved by thinking so drop the thinking and just aware.
  4. Clarity: like an ah moment . Opposite is dullness. If you know dullness you must know clarity. Is this thought? No. We have clarity n this is our innate intrinsic nature of mind. Need to b aware n nurture it. Find by awareness n nurture with mindfulness. Otherwise when we meditate we go into dullness. Dullness gives some peace but not wisdom . Like the heart sutra it comes from clarity n out of all knowing mind. Buddhist meditation looks for calmness and we want clarity. Aware of Clear openness . Thought emotion comes but you are not sucked into it . It’s shamatha without support——- happiness without reason. Calmness love clarity. All these yours just reconnect n strengthen n let it b part of your existence 

Authentic shamantha has calmness and clarity and stillness.

Thinking is movement 

In stillness of calm n clear , thought comes, that movement of thought. Is that stillness still there?

If stillness not lost fantastic.  It’s stillness with movement. V useful for everyday life.

If stillness n thought comes , stillness gone. Gone

When u r in shamatha without support n in stillness u hear one sound n u know it’s a dog , with that knowing , r u still in stillness?


Knowing is there but it doesn’t becomes thinking

Whatever u know u know

Whatever you don’t know you don’t know 

You not trying to know or stop

Don’t stop the knowing don’t switch it off

Just don’t go into thinking

Knowing but not going into afflictive mind

Some pple afraid of going into afflictions or discursive thought 

so switch off knowing but switch off knowing n u switch off clarity 

Thoughts n emotions come but u r not reacting 

So thoughts n emotions are liberated 

When u r being in the stillness 

Some point u cannot continue when there’s emotion to make u lose the state

Do u re-recognize the state or handshake ?

If you just lose mindfulness , just come back to the state gently

If it’s old things come up then handshake . Feel that pain. Be with that. Be kind. You will find some space. From there go back for the calm

You met the raw pain state for a while

Open it up

Then from there progress 

Awareness includes knowing

Knowing doesn’t include awareness

How long more are you going to hide from yourself? Run away from yourself? We want to b free within , not block. If you hide you will never conquer the samsara.

Go back to the root. It will help us a lot.

Number of practices:

  1. Handshake 
  2. Qi management 
  3. Shamatha without obj

Openness n opening up

Restricted mind is based on our imprint 

We need awareness to develop ourselves 

Taking refuge

Namo buddhaya 

Namo dharmaya 

Namo sanghaya

Like a number to call Buddha

Buddha bodhisattvas want to help us

We call out to them when we need

Commit yourself 

I m going to change n improve myself 

Bring virtue in my life n others

To deal with own n others monsters, the way is to:

Practice practice practice then one day simplicity will arise

Golf cooking creative artist life death all like that

Complex will lead to simplicity 

Also, change yourself to change others.

Do not wait for others to change. Change yourself. You b surprised how many other changes will come.

Change the right one 

!!!!!!Imparting this wisdom to others:

Every stage uses different methods

Best time is young time ie birth to 6-7 years 

Teaching manifest in form of silent transmission, ie make sure they have feeling of safety or grounded body, if u have baby hold baby face outside so adult become live chair n your groundedness is transmitted to child via nerves

Make their subtle body healthy 

So just drop everything n b in the center n just hold them

They will feel care safe n free

Teenage time use different methods because now is rebellious time, they think parents don’t understand them 

Be strong n understanding of their emotions n problems 

Bottom line is if u know clearly, u will b able to help others 

Many things u have to work in silence based on love kindness compassion 

Work in silence or silent transmission

Things still move

That’s the best way

Like a blessing and a miracle 

People have to learn from you silently 

How do u know if monster has opened up?

When feeling says – I want to know more about the pain 

Normally is fear numb shut off don’t want to know

It’s not delivered by mind

When monster is triggered 

u can chant mantra from time to time to see how monster feels- it is real but not true

Stop talking, just be

Fear of death :

Use this teaching to practice 

Not just cognitive but also in subtle body 

Need to practice 

It’s not only what u know u can change 

Sometimes you know but still cannot change 

It’s habitual accumulated over time 

Don’t seek new information you know v well already 

Don’t seek new thinking

Just do it

Don’t wait for perfect conditions to do it to practice 

Any place any moment any situation 

Just do it

!!!!!If you want to say no, say it!!!!!!

2 types of habits

-Karmic habitual pattern

-Learned habitual pattern: healthy n unhealthy 

Within unhealthy is distorted wounded n not wounded

Monster – wounded n unwounded

Wounded u have to open up its related to emotion 

Unwounded one like Qi speedy 


– home of or basis of love clarity courage bliss joy

-it will happen by itself if I take care of Qi lung imprints balance well being etc 

-feels openness essence love courage okayness

-feel well unconditionally or inner vibrancy feel happy without reason 

-modern living encourages happiness with conditions ie if u do smtg then u b ok

-opposite of bindu is hollow.

– if cannot experience, handshake the blockages or bring lung home 

-people r easily affected be they r hollow inside 


At this part of bridge I stopped n wanted to transform 

Handshake shamatha 

Fr subtle body there’s a message I can walk across bridge

I talked to my physical body to ground it

Halfway thru let go of arm walk

Walk to n fro to reset

There r many levels to work on to release the imprint 

Gentle vase breathing

  • little bit of breathing mayb 5% n let go so we can still talk n move 
  • If u do well this will save your life

Live happy n healthy 

Guide others n your next generation to a healthy direction 

Don’t quarrel with partners accept differences 

You don’t know who will go first

N your children will feel better n you yourself too

For pple who experience death let it go

Cannot fight with facts

Accept n let it go

Chant their name n say they have passed away

Know when is the right time to let it go

One great master said, end of building need to come down

End of life is death 

End of gathering separation comes

But what you practice you never separate from that 

The understanding will b with you

Live young