It is dec 29, the last sat of 2012.
When r u coming?
Days flew past in the past 40 weeks carrying you
And mommy is 37 weeks n I have put on 18 kg
When I had your sis, 1 put on 21kg
So when r u coming?
I m feeling the practice contractions more n more these days as the tummy hardens with more grasp n strength, with a higher frequency of course
i c u r eager as well
This gets me excited, as well, I m a bit at a loss.
I knew what to expect , as well, I don’t .
Do come with great ease n in safety 🙂
Make it easy for mommy!
As i expect u, i was looking a lot at how much qinzhi has grown, I sometimes feel surreal. I cannot believe looking at this fine young lady, that I have her as a daughter.
And now a son.
I m full of gratitude
It’s so surreal.
I still remember how it was at the beginning
The first day of my last period was apr 7, 2012.
Thereafter, I had u with me.
I was excited n tense at the same time in the beginning
I still remembered taking the pregnancy test at home with a stick one morning n u showed up with two lines
I left the pregnancy test kit in the bathroom so daddy could c it when he woke up
And he said: “congratulations!”
We tried for u for a few months before seeing that 2 strips on the test kit.
That was how we began this ten month journey.
A few weeks later, I developed a red “mask” surrounding my nose n all the way to the lower lip
I was worried about my health
I was nausea a lot more than when I had your sis
I had bleeding gums n they bled as n when they liked
I had alot more tummy upsets
I had piles all the way till now
I felt fearful each time I wanted to poo
It was painful
But I reminded myself to “enjoy the pregnancy” each time I worried
Those were daddy’s advice, I wasn’t able to do this when I had your sis bcoz I was way too tensed up, not knowing what to expect
This time, the experiences felt blurry, I knew something, at the same time, I knew not
I guess it’s all in the mind, it’s the attitude that counts,
And I began to pick myself slowly
I began to b aware but not dwell in those
I felt happier recognizing n not dwelling
It wasn’t easy though
And I feel myself enjoying this pregnancy more, n more n more
Your aggressive kicks even till now, u responded v much to loud noises fr the tv, Mozart
You kept me v warm esp my two hands n legs.
They were brimming with warmth n the pure sweet energy of life
We ate v well in the ten months
Popo made us black herbal chicken
A hui yiyi cooked lor bak with sea cucumber
During my rest days, I cooked scrambled eggs n tomatoes, we ate lotsa good breads n I cooked risottos
At the newest n best restaurants in Singapore
Mommy writes for lianhe zaobao n I review restaurants n write gourmet features
We ate at Jaan at Equinox
Michelin 2star chef Jason Atherthon’s Pollen
We ate when Michelin 3 star chef Alain Passard, Italian 1star chef Mario Musoni were here
We ate at all the top hotels’ Chinese restaurants n had all the delicacies one would have once in a while, but we had them everyday in late nov n dec when the hotels were sharing their Chinese New Year menu
As the year passes us by, our preparations to welcome you became more intense
Buying the sterilizer, baby detergent n the things that u will need
bringing out the milk bottles n having them washed
Washing the cotton nappies n your clothes, used by your jiejie
these r some clothes gengyan jiujiu brought in London
That day, I met a respected old colleague who is in the same newsroom as me, but we never spoke to each other
He saw me n said : giving birth! What an accomplishment !
Another colleague who taught me about the coarseness in life said this.
These words touched me at that moment! N now as I m writing
I guess because I m aware, I could feel the depth of its meaning. It’s tinkle n jingle .
It puts into perspectives what really mattered in life.
You r v special to me because I wanted u a lot
I have always wanted another baby to accompany qinzhi, to protect her n b with her
But not that, I just wanted another baby. So I just WANT.
And having experienced you this way, u inspire me to want to have one more.
You came along after 3 plus years
After mommy went thru a period of emotional cleansing n settled myself with surer thoughts of myself, life n what I want with my life
You embody all these as you grow with me
I hope you will grow up wise n enlightened n b a great inspiration to yourself n to others
B A light upon others.
I was asking daddy this yesterday :”so can i quit after maternity leave?”
daddy says:” Up to u”
and i felt what a luxury.
up to me, as i wish, as i want it to be.
And i replied in somewhat choking voice: “if i were able to realise that, it would have been a gift to myself.”
Actually I know nothing about taking care of babies
Even if i have had qinzhi
It was Ah hui yiyi n popo who have been taking care of her
In fact, I have even forgotten about breast feeding n warming milk
I do not know how I m going to handle qinzhi n u
But I sort of feel happy starting like a fresh piece of white
I guess it’s that I m ready n comfortable with myself
And I know, u will guide me, much like ur sis.