Today marks the last day of rest for me as I will b returning to work on Monday!
So the day was spent going to the market in the morning to buy some produce that I will b able to use the next few days.
Teacher Yen ‘s instruction was :”a gift for yourself n your baby”
This is my work 🙂
Gift for myself n baby?
the first word that came into my mind was
Then I recounted how I was when I delivered qinzhi n the word that struck was
So I drew a globe of yellow orange light to signify awareness
With awareness comes wisdom n freedom.
One needs awareness to b aware of wisdom
And I drew 2 hands, mine at the bottom left, baby’s at the top right
And I drew 2 balls in the middle of the balls, white to represent freedom
Freedom big n small
Freedom from the most mundane unhappiness , freedom of the mind, freedom to develop n grow
Mere freedom in life
I said freedom doesn’t come easy for myself
I learnt freedom the hard way
I wasn’t living for myself until when these last 3 years or so
When qinzhi was born, she kick started me into conscious living
She sent me on a search to look for myself
Who m I ?
Why m I here?
What m I here for?
What do I want to do?
How m I going to live?
She sent me into a whirlwind
Thinking about life n priorities
I have been living my life in a blur in my teens going for results
In early adulthood, I was tasked to manage the family
But when qinzhi was born, she gave me a chance n a ticket to freedom
Knowing yourself n what you want in life gives u freedom
You no longer live under the shadows of others or trying to accomplish for others or fulfilling others
Others but yourself
That is newfound freedom!
I then painted green to represent nature.
The gift of nature comes thru the awareness of appreciation
It doesn’t mean I have to bring myself or bb overseas for nature
But I have to learn to appreciate the nature in a leaf, in the rising n falling of the sun, when days turn into night
I then painted blue to signify healing
And pink for tenderness
I said that all these qualities I found in the last few years served me well when I was in a mess
They seem almost like a gift to me, as if inherited
Found in these few years of soul searching
now that I have identified n know of their importance, I believe baby would do well in life if he stayed by these qualities n developed them
And I know he will have these qualities. Just as I loved music n cared for pple around me, qinzhi naturally has these qualities too
So baby naturally will have these qualities etched into his character as well
And armed with all these in life, baby n I will b able to radiate a loving kindness outwards n b a light upon others in our lives.
And this is represented by the yellow lightness that covers the page.
I titled the artwork : Gifted
And teacher says wow
She feels I m so transformed this pregnancy. I have gained so much wisdom as if I have traversed time n distance over a matter of years. She feels I m now uplifted n has returned home.
I went back to my Facebook pg n noted my new year status at the break of 2012:
“May the new year bring forth shifts in attitudes, new perspectives, new ways of doing things, courage n wisdom.may 2012 bring me a newer me n a newer u. A better world. Haaaaapppi new year!’
I do feel transformed in a sense , elevated to another level, clearer of what I want
With that comes power n freedom, bcoz I have learnt to choose n b selective, n in the process learnt abt letting go n creating space for myself.
And in this all, getting nearer to the heart centre n being me
In the process of this artwork, I also feel that my lady boss is a teacher to me, i should b thankful of all the difficulties she has been presenting to me
She was able to treat me the way she did or ride over me n was not respectful of my wishes , bcoz I allowed it all !
That was a lesson on assertiveness
She didn’t give me recognition for my hard work n all that I did n I desired that recognition
It dawned upon me that for Recognition to be effective, it has to come from the inside. To know n acknowledge for yourself the good meaningful work you have done.
With this understanding , it feels as if the heart opened up quietly. As if a knot or latch opened up, fell off n disappeared.
I also told Yen I wanted to use my experiences to help others, having come out of it n derived all these important messages.
Maybe writing therapy?combined with art?
There is a gentle happiness n joy flowing / streaming
I m so happy about this.
I think I m really HD yellow just as daddy has wished me to b
And it’s twice the power bcoz baby in me as well can feel all this.
Strangely enough, the hand at the right side to signify baby’s hand turned out stronger n more intense , as if with more might.
Om ma ne pad me hum.
After the art session, I met up with daddy. We had a brief walk at orchard n had lovely food
But the highlight would b dinner tonight which I will b cooking!
I was especially pleased with the sauté potatoes although the salmon would b much better if cooked a little less longer
But overall, it’s a success!
Another reward for myself!