0

Rest Day 19

Today marks the last day of rest for me as I will b returning to work on Monday!

So the day was spent going to the market in the morning to buy some produce that I will b able to use the next few days.

Then art.

Teacher Yen ‘s instruction was :”a gift for yourself n your baby”

20121130-160316.jpg

This is my work 🙂

Gift for myself n baby?
the first word that came into my mind was

Freedom
Then nature
Then wisdom

Then I recounted how I was when I delivered qinzhi n the word that struck was

Awareness

So I drew a globe of yellow orange light to signify awareness

With awareness comes wisdom n freedom.

One needs awareness to b aware of wisdom

And I drew 2 hands, mine at the bottom left, baby’s at the top right

And I drew 2 balls in the middle of the balls, white to represent freedom

Freedom big n small

Freedom from the most mundane unhappiness , freedom of the mind, freedom to develop n grow

Mere freedom in life

I said freedom doesn’t come easy for myself

I learnt freedom the hard way

I wasn’t living for myself until when these last 3 years or so

When qinzhi was born, she kick started me into conscious living
She sent me on a search to look for myself

Who m I ?
Why m I here?
What m I here for?
What do I want to do?
How m I going to live?

She sent me into a whirlwind
Thinking about life n priorities

I have been living my life in a blur in my teens going for results

In early adulthood, I was tasked to manage the family

But when qinzhi was born, she gave me a chance n a ticket to freedom

Knowing yourself n what you want in life gives u freedom

You no longer live under the shadows of others or trying to accomplish for others or fulfilling others

Others but yourself

That is newfound freedom!

I then painted green to represent nature.

The gift of nature comes thru the awareness of appreciation

It doesn’t mean I have to bring myself or bb overseas for nature

But I have to learn to appreciate the nature in a leaf, in the rising n falling of the sun, when days turn into night

I then painted blue to signify healing
And pink for tenderness

I said that all these qualities I found in the last few years served me well when I was in a mess

They seem almost like a gift to me, as if inherited

Found in these few years of soul searching

now that I have identified n know of their importance, I believe baby would do well in life if he stayed by these qualities n developed them

And I know he will have these qualities. Just as I loved music n cared for pple around me, qinzhi naturally has these qualities too

So baby naturally will have these qualities etched into his character as well

And armed with all these in life, baby n I will b able to radiate a loving kindness outwards n b a light upon others in our lives.

And this is represented by the yellow lightness that covers the page.

I titled the artwork : Gifted

And teacher says wow

She feels I m so transformed this pregnancy. I have gained so much wisdom as if I have traversed time n distance over a matter of years. She feels I m now uplifted n has returned home.

I agree.

I went back to my Facebook pg n noted my new year status at the break of 2012:

“May the new year bring forth shifts in attitudes, new perspectives, new ways of doing things, courage n wisdom.may 2012 bring me a newer me n a newer u. A better world. Haaaaapppi new year!’

I do feel transformed in a sense , elevated to another level, clearer of what I want

With that comes power n freedom, bcoz I have learnt to choose n b selective, n in the process learnt abt letting go n creating space for myself.

And in this all, getting nearer to the heart centre n being me

In the process of this artwork, I also feel that my lady boss is a teacher to me, i should b thankful of all the difficulties she has been presenting to me

She was able to treat me the way she did or ride over me n was not respectful of my wishes , bcoz I allowed it all !

That was a lesson on assertiveness

She didn’t give me recognition for my hard work n all that I did n I desired that recognition

It dawned upon me that for Recognition to be effective, it has to come from the inside. To know n acknowledge for yourself the good meaningful work you have done.

With this understanding , it feels as if the heart opened up quietly. As if a knot or latch opened up, fell off n disappeared.

I also told Yen I wanted to use my experiences to help others, having come out of it n derived all these important messages.

Maybe writing therapy?combined with art?

There is a gentle happiness n joy flowing / streaming

I m so happy about this.

I think I m really HD yellow just as daddy has wished me to b

Now.

And it’s twice the power bcoz baby in me as well can feel all this.

Strangely enough, the hand at the right side to signify baby’s hand turned out stronger n more intense , as if with more might.

Om ma ne pad me hum.

After the art session, I met up with daddy. We had a brief walk at orchard n had lovely food

20121130-163607.jpg

But the highlight would b dinner tonight which I will b cooking!

20121130-190519.jpg

I was especially pleased with the sauté potatoes although the salmon would b much better if cooked a little less longer

But overall, it’s a success!

Another reward for myself!

20121130-221925.jpg

0

Rest Day 17

午后,带沁芝去Equinox午茶
小妮子说:this place is v nice
Becoz, have a lot of things to eat n drink

看她自己吃得津津有味
特别好看

20121128-185255.jpg

20121128-185519.jpg

20121128-185732.jpg

她说她还要来

:)
原想搭巴士回pasir ris
但巴士太多人
我们改搭车到机场

看到飞机,沁芝说:"要搭"
看到skytrain,她也要搭

20121128-190018.jpg

20121128-190210.jpg

然后沁芝说:"do u know where is the suuu(slide) in the airport?"

结果我们到ntuc消费,让她去玩游乐场了。

眼前,偶尔飞机的起飞
让我跟着也想飞
不工作,可以换更好的生活吗?
那就要看"更好的生活"怎么定义

也许我会错失很多机会
也许不能出国旅游
也许无法访问到了不起的人物

但似乎内心一把声音说
"都不要紧"
因为换来每天和孩子在一起的机会
那绝对不是得来容易的。

20121128-191808.jpg

0

Rest Day 16

无所事事

安心自在地度过一分一秒,就是一个很大的幸福了。

和沁芝在家,看着她嬉笑胡闹

也是非常的幸福

小妮子越来越可爱,今天终于勇敢让爸爸给她淋浴洗澡

真是了不起的一步

和baby在一起,完全感受他的每一次踢腿和动作

看着肚皮跟着起伏

感受那种生命的律动

那已经是很大的一个恩赐

每天就是平淡的起床、弄早餐、弄午餐、午觉……

已经是很大的幸福了。

感谢有休息的机会。

虽然工作的邀约不断,有时也很动心,但我最终还是选择在家。

因此我能感受,工作,还有工作带来的其他附加品,是多么的不重要。多么的可以被割舍。

傍晚,搭车看圣诞灯饰,之后daddy说要给沁芝买一棵圣诞树

找了两天,没有理想的。

daddy说要动手自己做。
我们就去daiso买,总共花了$12

20121127-233612.jpg

20121127-233733.jpg

20121127-233756.jpg

20121127-233856.jpg

20121127-233936.jpg

世界上最美的圣诞树!

0

Rest Day 15

Made qinzhi a breakfast of tomato n scrambled eggs, with a rabbit n birdie shaped bread

20121126-105004.jpg<;/a

Then watched iPad n c her dance

20121126-105052.jpg

20121126-105111.jpg

Then all 3 of us napped a good 2 hrs
Qinzhi experimented with a new hairdo n loved it

20121126-212045.jpg

And after fruits

It’s dinner time!
Fish n chips at ABC market

Then we went to Ikea to look for a Christmas tree

20121126-212151.jpg

Then we took 111 and took in the Christmas lights at orchard road

It’s Monday n we had the upper deck to ourselves taking in the beautiful sights

Qinzhi imagined she was driving

20121126-212341.jpg

🙂

And had enormous fun!

0

Rest Day 13

I m SUPER happi

: )

n i knew it was because I decided to proceed with my MC as prescribed

aligning myself another step closer to what my heart wills

昨天去看中医
告诉他,有时候discharge会有血丝
他大呼:"不可以!一定要休息!少走动!不可以开玩笑!换作前三个月就是不稳定的现象!现在8个月了,就是动了胎气,必须好好养胎!不可操劳草率,否则有早产危险!"

哇!吓一跳!
向Dr Soon说这事,西医完全不担心,她说之前做了discharge的检查,一切正常,没有感染。

但中医就认为大大不可。

也许老了,容易累,容易过度exert。
乖乖听话。在家休息好。

阅读后发现,宝宝在最后一个trimester增长最快,这时候最需要营养。

今天乖乖去巴刹买菜

自己弄黑鸡汤

希望宝宝有汲取到营养。

落红情况会转好。

20121124-192142.jpg