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A rare and precious treasure

To meet someone who really hurts you, is to meet a rare and precious treasure. Hold that person in high esteem, and make full use of the opportunity to eradicate your defects and make progress on the path. If you cannot yet feel love and compassion for those who treat you badly, it is a sign that your mind has not been fully transformed, and that you need to keep working on it with increased application.

Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche

from the book “The Heart of Compassion: The Thirty-seven Verses on the Practice of a Bodhisattva”

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Sitting

There is some confusion in me right now that needs some form of disentangling.

i don’t know what is causing it.

but maybe i do.

old hurts wounds n fears.

needing to break out n shake out of all these.

ungenerous thoughts, negative ones that belittle my future.

i guess i just needed to give myself some time to work these out.

of late, i was asking myself again if i should quit and i felt the energy to again! i sort of felt happy at that thought.

it came to my realisation that i do not fit into systems. and having to work myself with a system or into one, hurts big time. it seems that i feel more ready now.

i feel like i do not need any system to lead a meaningful life. no need to reshape myself into a system i do not like.

i feel like there is a better way than now.

n i do not any qualms to give it up.

because i have my babies.

also, it dawned upon me, that the most important thing, would be my attitude.

work circumstances can affect me, non work events can as well. so its not the circumstances that need change, but more so, my attitude and the way i see things.

i must learn to select and to let go of things that don’t matter, and shouldn’t matter.

and as i was breathing, n trying to be with myself, sitting with myself. i sort of got the answer again:

the precious moment is now, in each n every exchange of this precious thing called breath.

it is this seemingly unimportant, easily dismissed breath that allows us all the mightiness of life, giving us opportunities to be with our loved ones.

every breath, should be with something we love, its so precious.

and when we r able to achieve that, we make love n every breath more powerful and meaningful.

And it seems, the answer is obvious.

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opening up

i was on my own to the shangri la hotel for an interview with michelin one star chef Marcello Spandone fr abruzzo , italy when i came across this lotus, just outside club 21’s como house on grange road.

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a few steps down the road, and it came upon my realisation, that whatever life presents, the way to live it, is to open up.

it reminds me, this opening blossoming lotus, that one should open up to life, whatever the weather, the winds, whatever.

it brought me to accepting my own fatigue i m experiencing now, this panting feeling, this swirling in the head, the tired in my eyes.

did i open up to these ? did i even acknowledge these states? however discomfort they may have been?

it reinforced the idea of opening up, this wisdom.

and i had a chance with this. remember in my last art lesson, i told yen, that there is so much grace and wisdom in opening oneself up to all of life has to offer. yet, i m not doing it.

or not enough of it.

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and thereafter, every step of the way, i saw how nature opened itself up, how it presented itself to life, no matter how big or small each plant is. whether indoors or out.

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we have to, in the same way. we have to present ourselves to life, devote ourself to life, n a way that is truest to our self .

in that way, the magic of colour turns up in our lives.

nothing else.

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孩子去了pasir ris
假期快开始了!
yay!
我如释重负。我需要给自己时间慢下歇下。感受自己。

觉得身心具惫。
身体力撑过去的,心担心的。
此刻全然聚焦

我一个人承担。

做妈妈就是这样吗?