i told yen about how unprepared i was when i conceived qinzhi

and how that must have translated into any sense of not being wanted for the baby in the womb

i told her the me then was not matured enough, nor was i wise enough to know what to do?

now that i have the wisdom, i m not that hard on myself, although i felt a sense of helplessness. while i recognised that i m someone with low self esteem, i was determined non of my children would follow in my footsteps. but unwittingly, the manner in which i dealt with my first pregnancy, gave qinzhi a sort of a lack.

and it translated into a low self confidence.

but yen said, now that u are aware, things will change, awareness is like a breakthrough of something, everything that was held together, now changes, it is not too late.

things will change.

forget about the helpless feeling, you shouldn’t cling on to it.

forget about it and let it go.

it is so lovely to hear this.

hear hope.

hear wisdom.

yes, there is no need at all, to feel anything. let it go with awareness n focus on making good.


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