Dear Santa

Dear Santa

I was Santa to myself yesterday, and I discovered that granting myself, being honest to my real needs, listening to my heart’s desire and going for what I want, is so so liberating.

Being honest with myself, is the best way to live.

Everytime I had a need, everytime I heard myself, I would after a while, forget about it, thinking I could bear with it. Thinking I could go on.

Thinking I could ignore.

But this time, i tried another way n i made another choice. I choose to hear my inner self out. And in my choice, i experienced letting go.

It feels so much better!
Happier!
This way.

I instantly felt free after I voiced out what I want. Only then did I realise how important n how much I wanted it.

And today I just wrote a formal application.

“I hereby submit a formal request to you for an application of no pay leave, for a period of 3 months.

Kindly submit this to HR on my behalf.

This is my first application for long leave since I joined SPH in July 2002.

For personal reasons and for travel, I would be away.

It would be very much appreciated if this request could be validated as of 1st March 2012.

I have 20days of AL and 5days childcare leave currently. In June 2012 when leave ends, I foresee that I would also try to consume a portion of my entitlements.

I understand some plans have been put in place for upcoming revamps in the gourmet section. If necessary, I will try my best to contribute stories before I get out of town, I hope this would minimize whatever inconvenience caused.

Thank you and I await your advice on this matter. I also apologize for any inconvenience caused in my period of absence. ”

I think I wrote beautifully.

I think I m a piece of quality material in a wrong place.
And there is no point staying on and waiting for myself to be discovered.

I feel happy with myself that I took this step.

I think this is an exercise in letting go.

I think it is not easy to let go of what I have garnered for myself after ten years of work.
I felt I reached a height.

I contemplated about letting go. I tried to stay with it. I struggled with balancing and I finally found myself here.

Happy here.

I feel happy letting go. It was too important a lesson, to learn.

And finding myself liberated from the heart, I ask of Santa to listen to my wishes here:

Dear Santa

This is the first time I m writing to you.
So please, hear me out.

I wish for a healthy happy baby boy, to come forth into my family, to enlighten me further, to grow with me, to protect qinzhi n be with her to guide her

I wish for good health and happiness, for great strength and wisdom, and for peace for all

I wish for light to fill all of our souls

Above all, I wish for love.

Thank u dear Santa

I bought a Christmas stocking for qinzhi today.

Please let my presents be with me, this time next year.

Thank you and I wish you love.

Merry Christmas.”

And may all sentient beings share this gratitude I have in my heart n b liberated from this feeling of contentment n happiness.

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