I was Santa to myself yesterday, and I discovered that granting myself, being honest to my real needs, listening to my heart’s desire and going for what I want, is so so liberating.
Being honest with myself, is the best way to live.
Everytime I had a need, everytime I heard myself, I would after a while, forget about it, thinking I could bear with it. Thinking I could go on.
Thinking I could ignore.
But this time, i tried another way n i made another choice. I choose to hear my inner self out. And in my choice, i experienced letting go.
It feels so much better!
I instantly felt free after I voiced out what I want. Only then did I realise how important n how much I wanted it.
And today I just wrote a formal application.
“I hereby submit a formal request to you for an application of no pay leave, for a period of 3 months.
Kindly submit this to HR on my behalf.
This is my first application for long leave since I joined SPH in July 2002.
For personal reasons and for travel, I would be away.
It would be very much appreciated if this request could be validated as of 1st March 2012.
I have 20days of AL and 5days childcare leave currently. In June 2012 when leave ends, I foresee that I would also try to consume a portion of my entitlements.
I understand some plans have been put in place for upcoming revamps in the gourmet section. If necessary, I will try my best to contribute stories before I get out of town, I hope this would minimize whatever inconvenience caused.
Thank you and I await your advice on this matter. I also apologize for any inconvenience caused in my period of absence. ”
I think I wrote beautifully.
I think I m a piece of quality material in a wrong place.
And there is no point staying on and waiting for myself to be discovered.
I feel happy with myself that I took this step.
I think this is an exercise in letting go.
I think it is not easy to let go of what I have garnered for myself after ten years of work.
I felt I reached a height.
I contemplated about letting go. I tried to stay with it. I struggled with balancing and I finally found myself here.
I feel happy letting go. It was too important a lesson, to learn.
And finding myself liberated from the heart, I ask of Santa to listen to my wishes here:
This is the first time I m writing to you.
So please, hear me out.
I wish for a healthy happy baby boy, to come forth into my family, to enlighten me further, to grow with me, to protect qinzhi n be with her to guide her
I wish for good health and happiness, for great strength and wisdom, and for peace for all
I wish for light to fill all of our souls
Above all, I wish for love.
Thank u dear Santa
I bought a Christmas stocking for qinzhi today.
Please let my presents be with me, this time next year.
Thank you and I wish you love.
And may all sentient beings share this gratitude I have in my heart n b liberated from this feeling of contentment n happiness.