I received a call from HR about my application , the lady says ” it’s been approved”.
And so there r a few things she has to let me know.
– newspapers will not b sent to my house
– there will b no more dental or medical benefits n I have to surrender my Shenton medical card.
– that $56 will be deducted from my salary because the company gave us a sum of $100 at the beginning of the year to offset medical co pay bills
– that my office email account will cease for 6 mths
And a host of others I can’t really remember .
It seemed as if she was taking away things that belonged to me.
Before I was aware , I was shocked. It hit me before I knew its name. And there was a little feeling of insecurity. I would b without pay, after close to 11 years of drawing a salary.
Will I b alright?
It seemed as if I were losing things, belongings, my hard earned position , achievements, connections, personal satisfaction.
I didn’t think you would understand, I didn’t think your daddy will either, how much of a sacrifice this will be for me. Or how much of a gamble this is for me.
In the one year I m gone off work, I will b replaced. I will lose touch. I will lose connections. I will need to start afresh when I go back, it would b doubly hard.
But wisdom in my heart told me other story.
Those things were not mine to begin with. I just had the privilege n opportunity to possess them. And I think most importantly, I made good of them whilst having them.
Wisdom told me too, that I could take this as an exercise of letting go, n to live simply.after all, Those were extras that I could leave without.
As I carried huaihao in my arms, there was an idea of being stripped to the minimum. This is a v good opportunity to soak myself or address what really matters, my family, my children , my life. And to do what I really want.
And I suddenly feel so good I m stripped bare. To the basics.
To b light n without burden. Like starting anew somewhat. Like a pie of paper.
Most importantly, I have huaihao n qinzhi. They were worth every of the above I had to let go off. As huaihao drank from me, n smiled in his sleep, his cheeks full n rosy, his lips small n pinky, I knew it was going to b one of the best decisions I have made for myself in life.