http://upliftconnect.com/heal-yourself-by-talking-to-your-body/
Was super maxed out the last week.
Then I began to listen to the state, to my body.
And I remember reading lines that went:”the body is self healing ”
And I began talking to myself and I did feel a difference.
I thought that if I were largely responsible for wrecking me, then equally I must be capable of finding a way out of this.
This story answered me.
好累啊！
为什么？
很多时候，我都是把累忍下去，用意志再让自己前进一步。但有一两回，静下来，去听它，听到这样的信息——是你自己造成的。是你自己把自己带到这地方的。
有一种在玩火的感觉。
而且是个恶性的循环。很累的时候，不能自己的时候，很熟悉的声音就回来找碴——你一定是哪里不舒服了？那个地方不对劲了。你病了。
这些负面的声音不断重复。让我累上加累。
这30多年来，我都在这么灌输自己，告诉自己这样的事。怎么会不累呢？
偶尔静下来听的时候，听到与众不同的信息。包括，这累的出现，无非是让我好好正视它，好好去了解它的起因。
包括我为什么那么灌输自己那些讯息？
然后我才明白，这些讯息都是我小时候，吸收到身边大人的想法，心声、担忧。包括小时候爸爸动脊椎手术，外婆病倒……原来这些都给我很大的影响。直接和间接的影响。
不如妈妈因为这两件事承受的压力和担忧，没有言语出来，当时还小的我，应该也吸收了妈妈心里的声音。
因为了解这点，我更小心谨慎再孩子面前的想法。恍然原来自己这么一直以来，给孩子灌输的就是我这样的心声。
那些都不是我的！
都不是我的！
都不是我的！
搞清楚了陈彬雁！你一点都不需要这些。
我听到自己说，既然是我可以把自己带到这边，我也可以把自己带向健康。平安。喜乐！我可以。
累也是因为压力大。
在工作岗位上这么多年，从来没有像是现在这样。我觉得是有压力的。不是前面的路会不会成功，而是这几个月这节骨眼上，凑了许多的巧合。
我只能说，这样的机会，就是为了让我跨越。
Super inspired by Argentine chef Francis Mallmann, arguably the biggest food star in the Latin world.
Watched him on Netflix and twice over, Francis Mallmann is an expert at cooking with fire: over it, under it, in it and around it.
https://www.nowness.com/story/francis-mallmann-carne-knowledge
He says that to cook with fire, one must have a feminine side, to understand the fragility of the meats.
But above this mastery over fire, its his mastery over his life that is so awe inspiring.
He is unbounded by constraints of any sort. He is boundless, but because he has family, he is torn between the two. There is just one time in the documentary that he cannot himself, talking about his family, and perhaps is regretful or sorry, that he has chosen himself over his family.
But that’s mastery too.
Love all the quotes he gave in the documentary, so wise, so deep, so alluring.
In order to grow, you have to be there, at the edge of uncertainty.
All those things made me dream
That there was a free world somewhere
So my big draw in life since very young was freedom
The freedom of believing only in myself
And not letting myself being led by anybody
I wanted to be my own
I wanted to do whatever I wanted.
I m always cooking in the wild
My message is, Get out of chair , sofa , office . go out
When u cook with fire it’s like making love
It could be huge
You have to respect what you cook
There needs to b a festive feeling about the hard work we r doing
I was very stubborn about my freedom
There’s nothing more sad than an overcooked fish
They r v inspiring romantic
They made me breathe they make me tremble
They make me live
I seldom invite people to lunch or dinner
They are really chosen
I cant spend Time with people that I don’t enjoy
I can’t do it anymore as theater
I make choices
And that’s the beautiful thing about growing up
Learning to say no
In a nice way but you say no
I said the truth
Growing up has a bit to do with that
To be able to tell the truth
To show who you are
Even if it hurts
every person that works with you
You have to let him go at the best moment
When he and you are at the happiest moment
Then he and you think you are doing your best
They have to go
Because from there on, there is only one way which is down
You are young you have a master you want to emulate him
But
At some point in life you have to turn around
And say I have to find my own way my language
Big prizes in life, they make you happy and sad
Because they make you question yourself
I said that was it
You have your little car
You have a place to sleep
And the dreams are dead
You don’t grow on a secure path
All of us should conquer something in life
It Needs a lot of work
It needs a lot of risk
Love this!
Memory in music.
http://www.thepiano.sg/piano/read/bride-cries-when-her-non-pianist-father-plays-canon-d
This is a powerful campaign.
Beautiful images, assertive voices, important messages to remind, no, warn you to tread lightly.
皓皓今天39个月了。
好快！我的宝贝，好爱你！
皓皓用水笔在窗上画画，daddy说，那是因为皓皓坏蛋，原本画在plasma car上面。后来不好玩就画窗口。
原来坏蛋也是灵动的脑经所致
午后，给皓皓棒棒糖。便看到他春天那样的笑
学校庆祝Easter，皓皓拿了蛋回来，吃。
给皓皓尝试用电脑。
一一拼出huaihao的英文字母，让他一一在拼盘上找出字母来
让皓皓学习收拾
就是他眼神里的光，让我着迷
这一天，去吃晚餐。皓皓说要拍照
皓皓说，traffic jam
这个宝贝什么话都会讲。：）
这一天，就这么跟我玩
去yamaha，姐姐上课时，我们在外头等。等待时，让皓皓写字画画。然后折纸飞机和小船
公公的车子撞坏了，给了mommy和皓皓一起上学、下课的时间独处。
做了一点不一样的，比如下课后带皓皓去great world city午餐。
午后，朋友送了糕点了，两个小瓜乐坏了，直嚷着要巧克力的。
亲爱的宝贝，祝你健康，平安，快乐！
More and more in life, I have come to realise that beauty, more often than not, comes from a state of wreck.
Beauty, of wreckage.
http://www.highsnobiety.com/2016/04/21/tragedy-shaped-yohji-yamamoto/
Had my first experience baking bread with Baker & Cook’s New Zealand founder Dean Brettschneider .
I wouldn’t say i love the experience, but it was new n it surely opened me up further and wider.
And if that were the case, it has succeeded, because any experience should expand you, not narrow you further .
There were a few insights i gained making bread, and a few parts i particularly enjoyed.
Like kneading it, like mixing the flour and water into the dough. Feeling it. Feeling it come to life.
As if something in the heart has been translated into the dough. In the process.
And what about the insights ?
It would be, that bread is like a mirror, really. That reflects the qualities of the baker as a person.
However you are, the bread will be.
My bread didn’t rise as much as the others, and it was because in the kneading process, i was tough with it. I wasn’t gentle enough. I didn’t know how to love it.
I like a few things Dean said, like the dough is very delicate and you would have to be as gentle treating it, as if you were handling a baby.
And that you would have to put on your thinking caps, use your mind, your hands and your heart in the baking process, because you are dealing with natural things, pretty much like handling a 2yr old.
In the process of handling, he was gentle yet decisive. Those translated to a bread that would look really good and be really yums. The seemingly easy moves mattered through and through. The signature is in the details.
And I m sure people eating it would feel it.
My bread didnt rise as much because I knocked too much gas out of it.
“And gas is precious”, Dean said.
That was foreign n I loved it.
It showed me that I knew little n that I had learnt more.
Dean tried to show me by gripping my hands, on my left, he used more pressure, and on my right, less. He was holding them the same, yet different.
And i knew immediately the difference.
I had been too tough on the bread and it couldn’t take it.
This sort of brought me to think if i was too hard on others and myself.
If the bread was another person, probably I would come across as being aggressive and strong.
It showed me an image of myself.
It enlightened me about how I could b gentler with myself.
With my grasp.
I learnt to b gentleness n malleability. And to b gentle with the grasp in the process, it has to start on the mind or heart.
And how gently you treated it, how you treated it, it would return to you in the same measure, only later.
As in life, there would be an equal an opposite reaction.
沁芝7岁2个月大了。
亲爱的宝贝，不知不觉你已经上小一的第二学期。学了很多东西。交了新朋友，学会自己买吃的，学会独立上学、下课。
这些小小的事，对mommy来说，都是很大的成就。
虽然有时你总是需要人催你督促你，但这些都不重要。重要的是你，已经能够独立做许多事情。
你要记得，mommy一直一直为你感到骄傲。
这一天，我们到植物园去picnic，荡荡秋千，
玩捉迷藏、踢踢球
喂喂鱼
度过愉快的星期天
22日，请公公吃大餐
周末去pasir ris，姐姐带沁芝去吃美人锅
那天忙着给沁芝冲凉，冲好之后出来，看到皓皓呆站着，我的珠子则已经掉落一地。
没时间捡起来。
晚上回来，踏入房间看到珠子全部拾起，而且好好地都摆在桌上。
想到是沁芝。果然是沁芝。谢谢沁芝，爬到床下帮我拾起珠子。
然后daddy帮我串
小妹的头发又长长了，可以绑起来了
这一天，去外头吃晚餐
对沁芝，mommy有很多的抱歉在心头。
很多时候是很挣扎。很爱但也很严厉。可能想沁芝更好，所以沁芝紧张peel手的时候，我会很生气。现在写来，应该是气自己。责怪自己。没有做好我的责任。
不知不觉，沁芝学琴已经几年了。这一个新学期，她开始自己上课，mommy在课程的最后十五分钟才进课室。看到沁芝自己写笔记。
小妞长大了。老师说，是时候给沁芝买钢琴了
朋友送来糕饼，沁芝最开心
祝你健康、开心。
“Aim for the sky, but move slowly, enjoying every step along the way”
It’s no easy feat juggling the roles of a parent and professional. And ICICI Bank’s CEO Chanda Kochhar is the perfect example of a woman who does both facets of her life justice.
Now included in Sudha Menon’s book Legacy: Letters from eminent parents to their daughters, Kochhar’s note to her daughter Aarti Kochhar has been doing rounds on the internet not just because it shares the surprisingly simple secrets to a successful and happy life, but also because it’s going to be the most inspiring thing you read today.
Dear Aarti,
It makes me feel so proud today to see you standing in front of me as a confident young woman right on the threshold of an exciting journey through life. I am looking forward to seeing you grow and flourish in the years ahead.
This moment has also brought back memories of my own journey, and the life lessons I learnt along the way. When I think of those times, I realize that most of these lessons were actually learnt in my childhood, mostly through examples set by my parents. The values that they instilled in my formative years gave me the foundation on which I try to live my life even today.
Our parents treated all three of us – two sisters and a brother – equally. When it came to education, or our future plans, there was no discrimination between us based on our gender. Your grandparents always had the same message for the three of us – that it was important to focus on what gave us satisfaction and to work towards it with utmost dedication. That early initiation enabled us to develop into confident individuals capable of taking decisions independently. This also helped me when I started out on my own journey of self- discovery.
I was only a young girl of 13 when my father passed away from a sudden heart attack, leaving us unprepared to take on life without him. We had been protected from life’s challenges so far. But without warning, all that changed overnight. And my mother, who had been a homemaker till then, faced the responsibility of raising three children all on her own. It was then that we realized how strong she was and how determined to do her duty in the best possible manner. Slowly, she discovered a flair for designing and textiles, found herself a job with a small firm, and quickly made herself indispensable to them. It must have been challenging for her to shoulder the responsibility of bringing up her family single-handed, but she never let us feel like it was a task for her. She worked hard till she saw all of us through college and we became independent. I never knew that my mother had such a wealth of self-assurance and belief within her.
As a parent with a full time job, one must not let work affect the way you relate to your family. Remember the time you were studying in the US and the announcement of my becoming MD and CEO of ICICI was splashed across all newspapers? I remember the mail you wrote to me a couple of days later. ‘You never made us realize that you had such a demanding, successful and stressful career. At home, you were just our mother,’ you wrote in your email. Live your life in the same way, my darling.
I also learnt from my mother that it is very important to have the ability to handle difficult situations and keep moving forward in life, no matter what. Even today I can remember the equanimity and calmness with which she handled the crisis on hand when my father passed away. You have to handle the challenges and emerge stronger from them, rather than allow them to bog you down. I remember how, in late 2008, we were faced with a situation where ICICI Bank’s survival was in jeopardy in the face of a global economic meltdown. The situation was being analysed with a hawk’s eye by major media platforms and debated widely in the public space… I got down to work, systematically communicating with all stakeholders – from the smallest depositor to the sophisticated investors, and from regulators to the government – the bank was sound and its exposure to these institutions involved a small portion of its assets.
I understood their concern because so many of them feared that their hard earned savings in our bank could be at risk. I also advised staff across the bank’s various branches to lend a sympathetic ear to those depositors who turned up to withdraw their money, telling them to also offer the depositors a seat and a glass of water while they waited. And though, depositors were welcome to withdraw their money if they wanted to, our staff also took care to explain to them that it would not help them to take their money away, because there was no real crisis situation.
It was during this period that I took a couple of hours off one day to attend your brother’s squash tournament. I did not know it then, but my very presence at the tournament went a long way in reinstalling customer confidence in the bank. A few mothers at the tournament came and asked me if I was Chanda Kochhar from ICICI Bank and when I replied in the affirmative they said that if I could still find time to attend a tournament in the midst of a crisis, it meant that the bank was in safe hands and they need not worry about their money!
It was also from my mother that I learnt the importance of adapting to circumstances and not being afraid of the unknown. While working hard for my career, I looked after my family, and have been there for my mother and in-laws when they needed me around. They reciprocated in kind with their unconditional love and support for my career. Remember that relationships are important and have to be nurtured and cherished. Also keep in mind that a relationship is a two way street, so be ready to give a relationship just as you would expect the other person to be giving to you.
My career would not have progressed the way it did were it not for your father who never once complained about the time I spent away from home. Your father and I nurtured our relationship despite the fact that we were both busy with our own careers, and I am confident you will do the same with your partner, when the time comes. If you had complained and whined about my extended absence from home, I would never have had the heart to make a career for myself. I am blessed with a great and supportive family and I really hope you too will be as fortunate when you set out on your own!
I remember the day your board exams were about to commence. I had taken leave from work so that I could take you to the examination hall myself. When you realized I was coming, you told me how you were used to going for your exams alone for so many years. It hurt me to hear you say that, but I also think in some ways, having a working mother made you much more independent from a very young age itself. You not only became independent, but also stepped into the nurturer’s role for your younger brother and never let him miss my presence. I learnt to have trust and faith in you and you have now grown into a wonderful, independent woman. I now use the same principle at work to make our growing population of younger talent take on larger responsibilities.
I believe in fate but I also believe that hard work and diligence plays a very important role in our lives. In a larger sense, we all write our own destiny. Take destiny in your own hands, dream of what you want to achieve, and write it in your own way. As you go ahead in life, I want you to climb the path to success one step at a time. Aim for the sky, but move slowly, enjoying every step along the way. It is all those little steps that make the journey complete.
As you go forward, you will sometimes have to take difficult decisions, decisions that others might scorn at. But you must have the courage to stand up for what you believe in. Make sure you have that conviction to do what you know is right, and once you have it, don’t let skeptics distract you from your path.
Aarti, there is no limit to what a determined mind can achieve, but in achieving your goal, don’t compromise on the values of fair play and honesty. Don’t cut corners or compromise to achieve your dreams. Remember to be sensitive to the feelings of people around you. And remember, if you don’t allow stress to overtake you, it will never become an issue in your life.
Remember that good times and bad times will be part of your life equally, and you have to learn to handle both with equanimity. Make the most of life’s opportunities and learn from every opportunity, and challenge that life brings along.
Lovingly yours, Mumma
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