Had the opportunity to see someone versed in metaphysics and gained some insights.
That my life is that of a nun, I should serve masters and nuns are vegan.
He said my body does not have the enzymes to digest the amino acids in meat and so the liver is weak.
So the healer advised me to go vegan, used some oils, use the correct water to help myself.
He also said I m suited also not to marry.
So what I m doing now, is against the current of what I m made to be.
That explains all the difficulties I have, or why I m bogged down.
Because I m expensing my energy and all in ways counter active to what I m supposed or meant to be.
He said, ” talk to your boss to see if u can do other beats, maybe you will find your own magic/place”
It’s interesting because it’s such a huge revelation.
I remember I used to take v v v little amounts of meat.
I remember in India , I first felt that I could let go of what I m doing now to evolve and develop spiritually.
And I find it amazing how these all come into place now.
Inherently I know myself n what I want!
I was happy in a sense.
I m thankful of the opportunity to get a system upgrade , of changing certain ways that do not work for me anymore.
And to give a boost n a tweak to my sluggish system.
I m thankful.
He seemed confident.
He said that after 6 months of vegan diet, I wouldn’t even want to go back to meat .
He says, change your diet, change your lifestyle and habits and your life will change.
The smallest changes are the most important changes.
He says, keep reminding yourself to be mindful.
Every morning when u wake up, look around you. Be aware of your body, be aware that your children and husband are with you. Be grateful for this.
Throughout the day, be mindful how u behave. At night before you sleep, look at the day and see how you have been . What you have done right or wrong.
Then start again the next day.
Keep reminding yourself.
There is no shortcut.
Do this along with the diet changes. Work hard at this.
Because humans have consciousness.
And consciousness is to help improve lives.
Because consciousness is creative.
I heard that and I knew that.
I made an attempt to enquire about the new work opportunity. And the reply was that, it would be good to go for it.
They key word would be liberation.
I doubted myself for a while, not sure if i could manage it.
the reply was smthg i knew already–the universe wouldn’t send you something you cannot handle.
on another day, i told him about the raised ca 19.9, and he called me immediately.
he says this, “my suggestion to you is still to stop your work as a food critic. your body cannot handle meat. if you go vegan, your body will reverse completely. and this suggestion is for you to last the next 40-50 yrs. but if you continue as u have, i m not sure if you can take another ten to twenty years.”
that was scary!
and if that wasn’t a wake up call? what would be?
there is no choice.
what can be more important than health?
its not about cutting down. its about completely cutting out.
taking out things that do not work anymore for me.
bf heard me and says, “he is just asking you not to touch meat. thats all”
he is amazing, he always has the knack for simplifying things right down to the simple essence, the base.
i had a lot of shock just listening to this and i got lost.
what about the offer? what m i going to do about it?
Do i still want it? to do the spit away thing? how to write without eating? will i still find enjoyment in this activity then?
and if so, do i still want to cling on to this?
why don’t i just walk away and let go completely?—of things that do not work for me anymore in my life?
i m reminded of india and that inkling of realisation that i had. its a feeling of being able to let go of all i have and to start afresh.
that feeling has arrived.
and the time has come for me to act.
on another count, i feel glad, to have the opportunity still to exercise this choice.
i still have a chance and a go at it.
so many do not.
so make good this chance, TPY/