And what is acceptance or to accept? I had problems digesting a piece of news. And my body is feeling the heaviness. I have difficulty breathing, walking, sleeping. Something is disturbing me and i need to take care of it. it took me many years just to realise that, that its the mental disturbance that is hitting out at me in my body. The energy in my body, i needed to work with it, i told myself. SO i ran, i sweated it out, i shouted, and i drew. And i felt better. It took me awhile to realise how our body absorbed more shock, pain and stress than we can imagine. Before we are fully aware, our body actually did the work of absorbing already. Before we can accept, the body already did. SO its imperative that the mind or heart follows suit as well, as that both mental and body are in sync. And i asked myself, what is to accept? and how does acceptance feel? i woke up with an answer. i remembered the feeling of acceptance. many years back when mingyur rinpoche came to town n i went up to receive blessings, he snipped off a bit of my hair and i started crying uncontrollably. afterwards i understood completely why. i felt at home. i felt that i could for once take all that has happened in my life, and to be grateful in fact for those happenings. for if not, i might not have met mingyur rinpoche. i felt like all that has happened is worthwhile. i felt happy at remembering this feeling of acceptance. and how to accept? and i came across this
And then i realised this, that it is in the mind. and that everything happened out of emptiness, it was conditions that were present to propel and to make a situation. when conditions are no longer present, that would not b a happening. Then there’s this voice that encouraged me to take this as a support for meditation. to use this. and this ties back with an interview of Hou Xiao Xian that i watched yesterday, in which he said, that all actors are a result of their past, and it depends on how they want to use their past and all that has happened. and i felt so much lighter.
Om ma ne pad me hum.