累的感觉回来了。

喘。沉。重。连呼吸都需要提大力来做。

前几天开始,觉得走路有点晃。

i havent been sleeping well, waking up in the night.

i havent been digesting well.

i dont feel hungry.

the system needs cleansing.

就知道。

i searched myself。

我想,是最近两名同事的家人相继离世有关。i dint take it well, it affected me because it brought up settled feelings and a past.

但也因此,我知道原来,那个消化的动作还没有完全做好。

骨子里,我还是不能也还没有坦然接受。

还是有一股拒绝。很原始很孩子气的无力挣扎。

我问自己在挣扎什么?在不相信什么?也说不太上来。

its a mental block that needs some work here.

and yes, everyone needs time to do the work within ourselves. we need that time to work within, and we need to do that work ourselves.

but the beauty of this fatigue is it brings me to an understanding of myself. as i plant each step as firmly as i can to the ground, i m reminded of how lucky i m.

i should still, just, thank.

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