on the eve of the day haohao would turn 1, i can’t help but went back to this time last year.
i was waiting for haohao eagerly, but he was taking his time to come out of me, he was 8 days late.
23 Jan 2013, i wrote:
“I spent the 1st fed hours of 23 Jan recounting 22 Jan
I just couldn’t sleep although I was tired n panting
Later, I realised what was
In my body
The body remembers all if has been through n the only way to digest these memories
Are to write abt them
I had to breathe into them, in n out to manage them
As I touched my womb
I could not help saying thank u
For protecting baby for the ten months before
N I blessed it for a smooth n quick recovery”
what wisdom. in n out of my fleeting , as i walked about ungrounded, sometimes swaying, with v bad headaches n tugs in the head,
i read what i wrote, n it offered me solace .
the body remembers .
i must have been so so so stressed out in the last half year. i must have been taking in too much trash, n the body is trying to deal with it now.
dear body, thank you for helping me manage n clean up.
i know this will take time, i will learn to be patient, i will learn to practice awareness, i will learn to take better care of myself emotionally n physically.
thank u .