Dear Qinzhi n Huaihao
There is something about love that i have to write about here.
I have come to learn, from my own experience, that there can be no excuse/reason in love.
So do not accept anything lesser, not even once.
because the two of you deserve not lesser. You have to believe in that. you are gems to me, just like i m a gem to my parents. i do not think i deserve anything lesser, but only the best. i have learn not to condone actions, behaviours or attitudes that are beneath me.
So do not give heed to an excuse or a reason, that the other party gives. For if he/she loves u, truly, everything comes from his or her heart.
And if it is that genuine=from his/her heart,
it naturally becomes effortless.
hence, doing something extraordinary for you becomes effortless.
u do not need a reason for why he /she does certain things. Nor an excuse, when he/she doesnt do anything.
and if it is that genuine, he/she couldnt have hurt you in any way, no matter how minute. he/she will be so eager to take care of you, your feelings, he/she puts you infront of him/her.
you take precedence.
and when that doesnt happen, if hurt has been, then sorry becomes something basic.
sorry becomes so natural.
and hence, i have come to know, that you do not have to ask for sorry either. i have tried in the past, when i felt my needs were compromised in the face of a projection, and i didn’t get it.
sorry, it has to be that genuine. from the heart, unless the heart feels so, you cant force a sorry out of someone else. and unless it is that from the heart, it will be so natural that it is effortless, and immediate. sorry wont be withheld because of pride.
and because we cannot guarantee this, we have to be stringent in love. no matter how much love there is, it is extremely important to be independent in these various aspects, and i say these for qinzhi especially,
to be independent financially, emotionally, spiritually.
do not love and lose yourself in love. You have to b responsible for yourself. take care of yourself in the 3 ways above, and you will not feel what mommy is feeling now.