要一直monitor，因为有些时候things dont show up so fast。
我好像又遭遇一击。I hated what she said, she’s like implying I m in line for something
我提醒自己，b aware of your emotions n thoughts. Do not react.
事实上我已经在react to it。
It feels like a horse which has just picked up energy n on the run suddenly stopped n pulled back
What about my plans?
I begin to check myself once again.
M I really ok?
Later,when I m better able to collect my thoughts, alot of other more positive thinking came into mind. Such as
Taking this as a reminder about impermanence of life. We too easily fall into the thinking that we r forever when we/things go well
We tend to forget abt our promises to ourselves or things we want to do when things were not so rosy
It is a good reminder to think about diminishing our self cherishing qualities too.
Then I thought about Dr Pushparanee, the godly Indian doctor who held my hand and said to me: dont worry! you r well n v healthy. Go n do the things u want to do.
I read my blog and got inspiration from the things I wrote n the wise words bestowed by wise men
Such as yongey mingyur rinpoche who said
all the tots n emotions are like clouds, the clouds come fr space, stay in space n dissolve into space
evything comes fr emptiness n dissolves into emptiness
evything that comes r a result of cause n effect
—– so with that understanding alot of load is unloaded. We do not have to hang on n b disturbed
Juz observe it n it shall pass, whatever it is
I looked back at this two years, i stopped myself alot our of fear n anxiety. I worried alot n thought too much about what ifs, sacrificing time n my present
I understood what it means to stop myself.
So do I want to b stopped again?
No, my heart cried out
No. No. No.
I told myself that all the more I should seize the day n go all out for what I want.
Life is short, shorter than we expect. In face of uncertainty, all the more we should do what we want to.
At least I m well n healthy now. And I want to guide n steer myself to wellness rather than to keep thinking about what will “show up” n worry or b stopped by it
Maybe it wouldn’t at all.
When I m positive n live myself well
The dynamics change when I put the energy in the correct place.
Causes change n so do effects
But In fact the doctor is right
We r in a way or another in line for something, the thing we all r waiting for since birth
And that-death comes to us in one way or another, sooner or later.
Do we want to b stopped by death? Or do we want to pursue it n court it with a positive frame of mind?
The answer is really obvious.
Birth n living is way to precious.
And what would mummy say to me if she is here?
these 2 years thru this all, I never once thought about this
And now I did
What would mummy say?
I m sure this: 不要杞人忧天。it’s already a bliss now that u r well. B grateful for that. So long as u r, all the little things don’t matter.
Just work towards the things u want.
I believe she would pray for me n dedicate merits too.
I m well now n that is already worth celebrating n to work hard for
then I saw dailyom n it reinforces my stance.
I have to b brave.
I m here to learn about this.
November 16, 2011
No matter what our weight, we can use the cues from our physical and mental selves to judge how healthy we are.
Health is not a numerical concept and cannot be defined using statistics. Human beings, however, tend to want to quantify well-being into easily understandable figures. We feel compelled to ascribe numbers to every aspect of wellness, from the qualities of our food to our fitness levels to the physical space we occupy. As a consequence of social pressures, we turn our attention away from health and focus instead on the most contentious of these figures—weight—checking our scales to see how we measure up to our peers and role models. Yet each of us is equipped to gauge our relative healthfulness without any equipment whatsoever. When we have achieved a state of wellness, we feel buoyant and energetic. Some of us are naturally slim, while others will always be curvy. No matter what our weight, we can use the cues we receive from our physical and mental selves to judge how healthy we really are.
When you throw away your scale, you commit to a lifestyle that honors the innate wisdom that comes from within your body and within your mind. It is logical to examine how you feel while considering your health—a strong, fit, and well-nourished individual will seldom feel heavy, bloated, or fatigued. If you have concerns regarding your weight, remind yourself that at its proper weight, your body will feel buoyant and agile. Movement becomes a source of joy. Sitting, standing, walking, and bending are all easy to do because your joints and organs are functioning as they were meant to. When you are physically healthy, your mind will also typically occupy a place of well-being. Mental clarity and an ability to focus are two natural traits of whole-self health. Surprisingly, promoting this type of easy-to-discern wellness within yourself takes no special effort outside of satisfying your hunger with nourishing, wholesome foods and moving your body.
The numbers you see on the scale, while nominally informative, can prevent you from reaching your healthful eating goals by giving you a false indicator of health. You will know when you have achieved true health because every fiber of your being will send you signals of wellness. When you choose to listen to these signals instead of relying on the scale, your definition of well-being will be uniquely adapted to the needs of your body and of your mind.