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终于把沁芝交到姨姨婆婆手上之后,
我整个人好像剩下一半而已

是天气冷吗?

一整天,我不断在发抖。

很久没有这样了,刚才离开公司后,走向地铁站,我才了解到:自己害怕了、生气了。

过去两天,沁芝在的时候,我完全不去看自己,心想着,不想让沁芝觉察任何的不同,最好这在她年幼的岁月里就如此磨灭,失踪。

但我发现沁芝其实一直也在看她的爸爸,看爸爸怎么不参与?怎么在睡觉?怎么在一旁?

她说:不喜欢爸爸。爸爸不爱她。怕爸爸。

亲耳听到那句话的我,再怎么告诉沁芝"daddy love u"的时候,会有说服力吗?

Those few words threw me into a complete state of shock

Like a knife piercing me thru

I turned immediately to look at qinzhi. She doesn’t seemed like she heard it. She seemed completely unaware.

I wanted to confront but was so afraid it might do qinzhi more harm than good

But can’t I ask why?
我发现这一切是多么让人感到可怕。

我从来没有这么心疼过另一个人。从来没有那么想要保护一个人。从来没有这么讨厌自己,没有办法在那一刻保护沁芝,或遮住她的耳朵。

如果我可以,我会尽我的一切能力,从我们的记忆中把这一段洗去。

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